happythroughout Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Women, do you trust your instincts when it comes to whether you think a man likes you or not? Are they usually right? Or have there been times that you've been proven wrong? Men, if you do things that seem to show interest yet on another level, it could be seen as a really good friendship, how can we tell?
Nextlane Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Men, if you do things that seem to show interest yet on another level, it could be seen as a really good friendship, how can we tell? Every man is different. A handful of younger men (especially nice guys) can actually like you a lot but are afraid to open up and tell the woman how they feel. Depends on their personality as well as culture.
veggirl Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Guys don't approach strange women for friendship. Sure you can develop friendships with the opposite sex via mutual friends, work, etc; but if a guy approaches me out of the blue, I know it ain't for friendship. TBH, I don't think I've EVER been "friends" with a guy who didn't want more...and this is why I have female friends. I don't even bother with male friendships anymore.
Author happythroughout Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 Guys don't approach strange women for friendship. Sure you can develop friendships with the opposite sex via mutual friends, work, etc; but if a guy approaches me out of the blue, I know it ain't for friendship. TBH, I don't think I've EVER been "friends" with a guy who didn't want more...and this is why I have female friends. I don't even bother with male friendships anymore. This guy doesn't approach me out of the blue. It was more about circumstances. So all the more difficult to decipher. So I have to rely on my instincts.
veggirl Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 This guy doesn't approach me out of the blue. It was more about circumstances. So all the more difficult to decipher. So I have to rely on my instincts. Oh, I didn't realize this wasn't a general question. Give us some details then, perhaps we can decipher for the most part (exceptions exist, obviously), I have found most guys who are interested will approach and make it clear.
Author happythroughout Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 Oh, I didn't realize this wasn't a general question. Give us some details then, perhaps we can decipher for the most part (exceptions exist, obviously), I have found most guys who are interested will approach and make it clear. It was a general question to my specific situation. He's a relatively new joiner to my workplace. We were put on a project and spent a lot of time together. Realized we have a lot in common. But because it's circumstances that we have to spend a lot of time together, it's difficult to say how he feels, if at all. I just know for sure he likes working with me. I'm not even sure I can trust my instincts on this one either!
riggs Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Put in layman's terms, where there is smoke there is fire. If you have reason to believe someone is interested then there is something there.
riggs Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Guys don't approach strange women for friendship. Sure you can develop friendships with the opposite sex via mutual friends, work, etc; but if a guy approaches me out of the blue, I know it ain't for friendship. TBH, I don't think I've EVER been "friends" with a guy who didn't want more...and this is why I have female friends. I don't even bother with male friendships anymore. Yes. Absolutely.
Author happythroughout Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 Put in layman's terms, where there is smoke there is fire. If you have reason to believe someone is interested then there is something there. No. Actually my instincts say he's not interested in me that way, though sometimes his actions do seem like he is. It's all confiusing.
riggs Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 No. Actually my instincts say he's not interested in me that way, though sometimes his actions do seem like he is. It's all confiusing. Well, what are some of the actions? Is he shy? Outgoing?
Author happythroughout Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 Well, what are some of the actions? Is he shy? Outgoing? He's in between, I would say. It depends on how well he knows the people. Since he knows me quite well now that we're on the project, he talks and jokes a lot to me. Yet it's not a sure sign.
SJC2008 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Every man is different. A handful of younger men (especially nice guys) can actually like you a lot but are afraid to open up and tell the woman how they feel. Depends on their personality as well as culture. Yeah but what if you really like someone early on? Say within 3 dates and you're like "Man I really like this woman". I don't crush easily and have only crushed really hard about 3 times since I was 17. Not saying falling for but ya know? I mean from what I've read (excuse my naivete) you shouldn't tell a woman early on you like her because it takes the mystery factor but then again what if you do? She may be like "heard that before". It's so hard how you gotta toe the line from coming on too strong or playing it cool. And when two ships pass in the night where there could of been great potential makes it suck more.
Jane2011 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Women, do you trust your instincts when it comes to whether you think a man likes you or not? Are they usually right? Or have there been times that you've been proven wrong Yes, I trust my instincts about a guy liking me or not. I'm usually either right or off by just a little...
Author happythroughout Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 Yes, I trust my instincts about a guy liking me or not. I'm usually either right or off by just a little... I usually trust mine too. But this time it seems I'm quite confused. If there was no work circumstances involved, it would have been so much easier! Anyone out there with a similar situation to dish out some comments or advice?
spiderowl Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Yes, I do trust my instincts and I'm usually right. I can tell if a guy is going to approach me by one look. It's in his eyes straightaway, that spark of interest. If he wasn't interested, they would look kind of deadpan. I can tell in other ways too, the way he stands, moves, just a very strong feeling. Socially, it becomes obvious pretty quick - the way he looks at you, the fact that he hangs around, picks up on things you say, tries to sit nearer, is always looking for a reaction. It's very clear. I can even sense if a guy is interested in a far corner of the room, I just seem to know. It used to creep me out completely when I was younger, especially in clubs and suchlike, as I knew someone was there and was going to appear. Now that I'm older, I don't get bothered so much, but it's still obvious to me. When I like someone and I'm not sure if he likes me, that's really difficult because I don't know if he's just subtle or not interested as it's unusual for me not to know. If I can't sense it, that really throws me. 1
Author happythroughout Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 Yes, I do trust my instincts and I'm usually right. I can tell if a guy is going to approach me by one look. It's in his eyes straightaway, that spark of interest. If he wasn't interested, they would look kind of deadpan. I can tell in other ways too, the way he stands, moves, just a very strong feeling. Socially, it becomes obvious pretty quick - the way he looks at you, the fact that he hangs around, picks up on things you say, tries to sit nearer, is always looking for a reaction. It's very clear. I can even sense if a guy is interested in a far corner of the room, I just seem to know. It used to creep me out completely when I was younger, especially in clubs and suchlike, as I knew someone was there and was going to appear. Now that I'm older, I don't get bothered so much, but it's still obvious to me. When I like someone and I'm not sure if he likes me, that's really difficult because I don't know if he's just subtle or not interested as it's unusual for me not to know. If I can't sense it, that really throws me. I'm probably in this situation (bold). Have you had any workplace examples? This guy hangs around, picks up on some of things I say and sometimes looks for a reaction. But they could all be work-related.
spiderowl Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 No, sorry, not recently. In the past a guy was interested at work and gave me strong hints that he'd like to spend time with me outside work, but these days guys are scared to make any moves at work in case they get accused of sexual harassment. It does make it tough to know. All you can do is to be very encouraging of his attention and time and hope (or suggest) time out of work together, like lunch or something, and see if he's interested. If he avoids an opportunity to spend time alone with you, then that's a good sign that he's not interested romantically.
Mr. Slim Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Work is work. I work closely with some pretty hot women but I treat them like they're 70 year old senior citizens. Too much at stake for me to get a reputation as "that guy". I suppose a start in getting to know if a coworker had romantic feelings for you would be to get them outside of work.
january2011 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 I agree that you have to talk to them outside of a work situation to find out if there is anything there. But I also agree that it's a bad idea to date a coworker. Even if your company doesn't have a policy against such behaviour, if you work closely together, you'd have to be very professional and not allow your personal life to distract you from your work obligations. If you can't do that, then I don't think you can compartmenalise enough to date a co-worker.
Author happythroughout Posted April 7, 2012 Author Posted April 7, 2012 No, sorry, not recently. In the past a guy was interested at work and gave me strong hints that he'd like to spend time with me outside work, but these days guys are scared to make any moves at work in case they get accused of sexual harassment. It does make it tough to know. All you can do is to be very encouraging of his attention and time and hope (or suggest) time out of work together, like lunch or something, and see if he's interested. If he avoids an opportunity to spend time alone with you, then that's a good sign that he's not interested romantically. For starters, he asked me out for lunch yesterday. But I was too busy to notice until it was too late. I wasn't sensitive enough and said that I would just grab something on my way out. He could have been asking out of concern rather than a lunch date. Work is work. I work closely with some pretty hot women but I treat them like they're 70 year old senior citizens. Too much at stake for me to get a reputation as "that guy". I suppose a start in getting to know if a coworker had romantic feelings for you would be to get them outside of work. What would make you change your mind of treating them like senior citizens?
PlumPrincess Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Put in layman's terms, where there is smoke there is fire. If you have reason to believe someone is interested then there is something there. I can spot unwanted attraction really well. But... - Oops, I just realized, maybe I am good at spotting attraction. Period. And maybe I just have never been able to attract guys I want. There has never been wanted attraction that I have failed to see.
Mr. Slim Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 What would make you change your mind of treating them like senior citizens? The elimination of all sexual harassment laws
Author happythroughout Posted April 8, 2012 Author Posted April 8, 2012 I can spot unwanted attraction really well. But... - Oops, I just realized, maybe I am good at spotting attraction. Period. And maybe I just have never been able to attract guys I want. There has never been wanted attraction that I have failed to see. When we like someone, it tends to throw us off. The elimination of all sexual harassment laws Damn if you do, damn if you don't. I want sexual harrasment laws yet I don't want them to keep the guys I like away!
Author happythroughout Posted April 8, 2012 Author Posted April 8, 2012 But didn't people say if a guy likes you, nothing will stop him away? Like he's not going to be scared of risking a great friendship to turn it into a relationship. I just remembered this tidbit. Some coworkers say they see that we click instantly. But even friends click, right? Doesn't have to be romantic, right?
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