Ruby Slippers Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 So are you telling me that if a man absoloutely rocks your world you will risk giving him a not interested vibe and losing him by not initiating any contact early on? Not even a Hi! or how was your weekend? every once and a while? Serious question no sarcasm intended. This last woman did that to me and I flat out thought she wasn't interested but with my limited exp I didn't know a lot of women do this so I was already at a disadvantagem and the ish went south and we had great potential but our ships passed in the night. Yes. I don't care if he seems like the man of my dreams on every level, in the beginning, I wait for him to contact me. Because the man of my dreams would definitely contact me. I'm 35, old-fashioned when it comes to romance, and from the South, so I'm sure it's somewhat a generational and socialization thing. Also, my limited experience with approaching and initiating has not yielded good results. Maybe it's because I'm bad at it because I've never had to do it, but there it is. When a guy I'm interested in approaches or contacts me, I make it very clear that I'm interested. 1
SJC2008 Posted April 7, 2012 Posted April 7, 2012 Yes. I don't care if he seems like the man of my dreams on every level, in the beginning, I wait for him to contact me. Because the man of my dreams would definitely contact me. I'm 35, old-fashioned when it comes to romance, and from the South, so I'm sure it's somewhat a generational and socialization thing. Also, my limited experience with approaching and initiating has not yielded good results. Maybe it's because I'm bad at it because I've never had to do it, but there it is. When a guy I'm interested in approaches or contacts me, I make it very clear that I'm interested. That's understandable if that's how you are comfortable and mabye it is a southern/age thing. How long is the beginning BTW? I've read stories on the net of this going on 5+ months. In the long run it may not be a bad thing though. I quess it greatly improves the odds of her not being a cheater due to her courting views. But then again you never know!
Ruby Slippers Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 That's understandable if that's how you are comfortable and mabye it is a southern/age thing. How long is the beginning BTW? I've read stories on the net of this going on 5+ months. In the long run it may not be a bad thing though. I quess it greatly improves the odds of her not being a cheater due to her courting views. But then again you never know! To be honest, I'm very conservative with contacting the guy no matter how long we've been together. I like to give a man some breathing room, to show him I trust him, to let him have his own time and see how much of it he wants to share with me. It's always happened naturally that a guy who really likes me and with whom I have lot in common, a good bond, wants me involved in his life plenty. Believe me, there is no question how I feel about him when we're together. I have a way of rocking a man's world. And yes, I am quite old-fashioned in pretty much all relationship aspects, including the very positive, like being very loyal and having a wide-eyed innocence about love.
RachR Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 (edited) I would contact a guy often if I'm interested, like every other day to every few days, just depends (even every day if he seemed into it). I don't mind being the one to strike up the contact first. However, I would have to see some reciprocation as well for it to continue. For example, like this one guy who I went out on date with a week ago: We had a lunch date. He wanted to continue the date after the lunch, but I had a prior engagement for after the date that would last into the evening, so we made tentative plans to possibly meet later that evening. I was to call him when I was finished. So, later on I called him, but I got his voice mail, so I left a message saying hello and that I would talk to him some other time then, goodnight. Then earlier this week I sent him a random, conversing-type text making a comment about something we talked about during the date. He never replied to it, I haven't heard from him at all. So, that's discouraging and I take it he's no longer interested. So yeah, I'm interested in him, but I sent a feeler out and he hasn't replied/made contact himself... Edited April 8, 2012 by RachR added more information
Author singlelife Posted April 8, 2012 Author Posted April 8, 2012 I would contact a guy often if I'm interested, like every other day to every few days, just depends (even every day if he seemed into it). I don't mind being the one to strike up the contact first. However, I would have to see some reciprocation as well for it to continue. For example, like this one guy who I went out on date with a week ago: We had a lunch date. He wanted to continue the date after the lunch, but I had a prior engagement for after the date that would last into the evening, so we made tentative plans to possibly meet later that evening. I was to call him when I was finished. So, later on I called him, but I got his voice mail, so I left a message saying hello and that I would talk to him some other time then, goodnight. Then earlier this week I sent him a random, conversing-type text making a comment about something we talked about during the date. He never replied to it, I haven't heard from him at all. So, that's discouraging and I take it he's no longer interested. So yeah, I'm interested in him, but I sent a feeler out and he hasn't replied/made contact himself... if more women put out feelers we would know they're interested.
RachR Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 if more women put out feelers we would know they're interested. Yeah tell me if I'm wrong, but I figured I put enough of a "feeler" out there to show I'm interested in talking to him and that if he's interested, he would have contacted me back. So, he probably won't hear anything else from me until he initiates.
WildHorses Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I don't do the hunting. I might be old fashioned, but I like the guy to hunt me down. I really don't do any contacting until things are more established. Just how it goes with me.
Author singlelife Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 I don't do the hunting. I might be old fashioned, but I like the guy to hunt me down. I really don't do any contacting until things are more established. Just how it goes with me. I'm telling you ladies it just doesn't a;ways seem like you like a guy when he contacts a few times and you have no folloe up.
Thieves Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Women can say whatever they want. But if they are really enchanted by a guy, they WILL initiate contact because they just cant wait to hear from him. I agree with this. I'm the kind of girl where, if I really, truly like someone -- which is very rare for me -- and want to take things to the next level, I don't have any qualms about contacting them first for whatever reason and asking them to hang out... sometimes to the point where I occasionally fear going "overboard" with it. Nevertheless, it's never really turned out to be a negative thing as the men usually reciprocate (or not) and know I'm interested. If they don't reciprocate, then that's when I start to back off and wait for initiation on their side of things. If I just like the man as a friend, and I'm not interested in more, then I don't always go out of my way to contact the person first or that often. *Shrugs* I don't know. It's worked for me so far, and if it ain't broke...
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