singlelife Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 And I mean before you have sex. I know that's not the only thing but sometimes that's the only way us guys can tell if a woman is into us. So I'm just asking.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I'm old school. I almost never contact the guy in the early phase. If I like him, I respond when he contacts me. If I don't like him, I don't respond. 1
Author singlelife Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 I'm old school. I almost never contact the guy in the early phase. If I like him, I respond when he contacts me. If I don't like him, I don't respond. So if you like him and he doesn't contact you just letem go? 2
darkmoon Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 look, unless i'm a a rarity, me ringing a man always back-fires, unless there is a signal a smile wink text or something i would not go cold-calling 2
eleanorhurting Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 If I like him I will drop hints like messages and wait for him to reciprocate. If he doesn't he was not into me. If he does reciprocate, I always answer. Screw games. 3
somedude81 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 If I like him I will drop hints like messages and wait for him to reciprocate. If he doesn't he was not into me. If he does reciprocate, I always answer. Screw games. I like this best. I want the woman to show some interest. Ruby Slipper's style is a little too passive for me.
cerridwen Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I'm old school. I almost never contact the guy in the early phase. If I like him, I respond when he contacts me. If I don't like him, I don't respond. I'm the same way. I'll respond with warmth and enthusiasm, thus conveying my interest but, I'm don't initiate until it's clear we're into each other. 2
nessaaa Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 when Im interested in a guy, I will contact him whenever I feel like talking and I will initiate convo first. after a while I do expect him to put in effort and if he doesn't it just shows me he's really not that interested and I move on. the guy I am interested in now, I made all the first moves and always initiated convo first it got annoying. but now it's pretty even and we talk everyday and at night for hours.
JohnP82 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 If a girl is interested enough in you she will contact you or do whatever to ensure that she is on your mind.
nessaaa Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I think women that do that, are bitches. The poor guy is like "oh she's pretty damn cool, I'll give her a message" then you are like "Nah not interested, erases message"... If a guy did that to you women, you'd be all on LS crying about it and I am not sorry, because it is damn rude, either gender. So HA. this made me laugh cuz it's so true lol
Author singlelife Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 If a girl is interested enough in you she will contact you or do whatever to ensure that she is on your mind. some girls text then disappear the repeat. i assume they are dating someone else.
JohnP82 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 some girls text then disappear the repeat. i assume they are dating someone else. Yes, she is clearly not interested.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 So if you like him and he doesn't contact you just letem go? Yep. If he doesn't like me enough to make something happen, he's not the kind of guy I like. When I get into my single and ready to mingle mode, many different men are coming at me (as is starting to happen now ). The one who makes no effort gets no reward. I think women that do that, are bitches. The poor guy is like "oh she's pretty damn cool, I'll give her a message" then you are like "Nah not interested, erases message"... Well, if i was interested enough to give him my number, then discovered later I wasn't interested, I would tell him so and disengage, not just ignore him. But then if he keeps trying and I'm not interested, I'm not going to give him false hope by responding.
ptp Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I like this best. I want the woman to show some interest. Ruby Slipper's style is a little too passive for me. I agree, if I have already made the initial effort of asking a girl out, then she needs to show me that she is interested. If a girl that is interested in me will make the effort to get in touch with me. I am not a puppy dog, I am not going to chase a girl blindly.
Author singlelife Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 it also depends on their age. if they are 18-25 they will be prone to be wishy washy on contact. so that'll make it harder to know if they truly like you.
SJC2008 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I'm old school. I almost never contact the guy in the early phase. If I like him, I respond when he contacts me. If I don't like him, I don't respond. So are you telling me that if a man absoloutely rocks your world you will risk giving him a not interested vibe and losing him by not initiating any contact early on? Not even a Hi! or how was your weekend? every once and a while? Serious question no sarcasm intended. This last woman did that to me and I flat out thought she wasn't interested but with my limited exp I didn't know a lot of women do this so I was already at a disadvantagem and the ish went south and we had great potential but our ships passed in the night.
SJC2008 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Ok I missed your response to another poster. Some women don't know how to show a man interest or feel it's all the man's job IMO. If you cancel a date it is your job to offer an alternative regardless of sex if you are interested IMO. Don't make the other stick their neck out there again or test thier persistance. I can't turn my emotions off like a light switch but I can protect myself by no longer pursuing a woman who doesn't show interest (even if she is). There are other ways to know if a man is interested by not contacting him at all to see how long he'll contact you first. Not sleeping with him soon is the best. The bottom line is that men are humans and need to feel wanted to. These are general opinions and are not directed at you nor am I scolding you.
somedude81 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 The bottom line is that men are humans and need to feel wanted to. Exactly. If she never initiates contact I'm going to assume that she just isn't interested. Because that is exactly how not interested girls do it. And even girls who are not interested will occasionally reply to texts and calls but will never initiate contact.
musemaj11 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Women can say whatever they want. But if they are really enchanted by a guy, they WILL initiate contact because they just cant wait to hear from him. 1
SJC2008 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Women can say whatever they want. But if they are really enchanted by a guy, they WILL initiate contact because they just cant wait to hear from him. You would think but they could be tradtional or have googled some dating tips. Many of which TELL her not to initiate contact because if he likes you he will call. The book left out the part that a man with options or a man with little exp like me will not chase a dead fish and eventually say eff it and move on. How could you risk losing a great man, whoever he is buy doing something like this?? I think it's foolish IMO. You can keep a low ratio to make sure all the initiating doesn't fall on you. Mabye 1 initiation for 3 of his, we don't need a plane flown over a house saying I like you but a tid bit here would go leaps and bounds.
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Normally I would wait for a guy to contact me. I guess it's hardwired in on some level that we have to anticipate the chase/dance/ritual, so I would wait for him to start that off purely because if a girl starts things off, many guys will take her up on the opportunity without actually liking her but just because she's there. If the guy makes the effort, you know he likes you and isn't just taking you coz you're there (hopefully). The guy I like atm is in a dif country, and I have been calling once a week to keep costs low and not bombard him as we are not actually together or anything. He has text me a couple of times, but doesn't do so often. I can't tell if it's money problems his side as he is not well off, or if he is disinterested. That is putting me off calling again, so I'm leaving it 2 weeks now to see if he wants to get in touch. Otherwise I probably WILL get in touch again, but i'll feel a bit :S about it.
Author singlelife Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 Normally I would wait for a guy to contact me. I guess it's hardwired in on some level that we have to anticipate the chase/dance/ritual, so I would wait for him to start that off purely because if a girl starts things off, many guys will take her up on the opportunity without actually liking her but just because she's there. If the guy makes the effort, you know he likes you and isn't just taking you coz you're there (hopefully). The guy I like atm is in a dif country, and I have been calling once a week to keep costs low and not bombard him as we are not actually together or anything. He has text me a couple of times, but doesn't do so often. I can't tell if it's money problems his side as he is not well off, or if he is disinterested. That is putting me off calling again, so I'm leaving it 2 weeks now to see if he wants to get in touch. Otherwise I probably WILL get in touch again, but i'll feel a bit :S about it. If I contact and she doesn't respond I move on.
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 If I contact and she doesn't respond I move on. I normally do too, but this guy there is a legitimate financial issue, so I don't want to make a rash judgment on how often he can communicate.
Author singlelife Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 Ok I missed your response to another poster. Some women don't know how to show a man interest or feel it's all the man's job IMO. If you cancel a date it is your job to offer an alternative regardless of sex if you are interested IMO. Don't make the other stick their neck out there again or test thier persistance. I can't turn my emotions off like a light switch but I can protect myself by no longer pursuing a woman who doesn't show interest (even if she is). There are other ways to know if a man is interested by not contacting him at all to see how long he'll contact you first. Not sleeping with him soon is the best. The bottom line is that men are humans and need to feel wanted to. These are general opinions and are not directed at you nor am I scolding you. It's still hard to decipher. If she is waiting it could seem like she isn't interested.
phineas Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 My experience: if a woman likes me she would contact me at least once with a lame excuse & I would then take it from there and the next time I talked to her would be our date. However, women that are just looking for attention & really not interested would contact me ALL the time but ignore me when I contacted them. Once I recognize that game I freeze them out until their offering what they know I want (a date) sometimes they offer it. Most times they just get dramatic & say things to try & get me to respond just to see if they still have me hooked.
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