lolavallejo Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 My ex and I have been off and on for the last 5 to 6 years.. Right now we are not together and I am with a new man, I have been with the new guy not so serious for the first 4 months but since January 1st we have been living together and trying at a serious relationship. Almost the whole time I've been talking to my ex. Right now we are at the breaking point because my ex wants to get back together. Enough so that he is willing to marry me on the spot. My ex and I have a horrible past. At the beginning of the relationship he was not a great man. He had hit me before, he cheated on me, and lied to me a bunch. As the years passed the tables turned... He turned out to be an outstanding boyfriend that would never lie and hurt me, but in return I turned to be a resentful woman that backstabbed him, lied to him, cheated on him, and used him for money. I would say that as of right now I have done more damage than him. But its hard to gauge because we have both royally messed up so much. The last few breakups have been 100% my fault nearly.. Yet he still wants me back. I know my ex is genuine. I've seen him break down in tears. He would do anything for me. He is so loyal to me it hurts so bad. I can count on him for anything and for that I love him. The last time we broke up was because I was cheating. I was using him for his money and security, and at the same time I was seeing my current boyfriend on the side because he excited me. At the time, my ex took care of my bills and financial stablilty, and my current bf is who i was happy with. My current man and I started off good. When we first met I was single, and loyal to him. About a month into our relationship my ex came back and won me over through his raw emotion. I broke up with my current guy and moved my ex back in. Although I broke up with my BF of one month for my ex, we never seemed to stop talking.. And within two months I was already cheating on my ex again with my current man. We could not stay away from each other. But at the end of the day they both ended up finding out about eachother and my ex left me and moved out. I moved my current boyfriend in, and it's been 3 months. My current boyfriend is very sensitive and cannot get over what I did to him. He is emotionally a wack job. He is depressed and hates life most of the time. Some days he is OK and some days he is complete hell to be around. I had no idea he was like this when we first started dating.. And it gets really bad. Some days I just want to break up, but we have a lot of fun sometimes. He is a lot like me in the recreational sense. We have a lot in common and I find him attractive... But he has some serious downfalls. One being that he is less educated than I am and it really shows when we hold conversations. Just in general he is very unwise. He also lacks confidence in himself, and he is very insecure, ontop of his depression. He doesn't believe he needs help for this. When he gets drunk or high he can be really abusive towards me. Calling me all sorts of names and saying he doesn't like me. Most of the time I feel like he's really unhappy. But some days he will snap out of it and seem like he really wants to be with me... And what keeps me around is thinking he will stable out. If he was happy everyday we would have half the issues. But when I really think and compare these two men, I know my EX is 10x more loyal and more trust worthy than my current flame. I don't know what to do. I want to make my ex happy. But right now I just don't have it in me to break up with my boyfriend. I love him. I love them both. I feel so much more secure with my ex, and if I dont do something now I am going to lose that. I am going to lose the real, raw love and emotions I get from him for something that ultimately probably will not work out. I could dump my bf, go run off and be married by next month... Or I could keep trying with my boyfriend and see where it goes. My ex and I are more sexually compatible.. but I am more physically attracted to my current boyfriend.. My current bf and I recreationally find more things to do with eachother.But my current BF and I are not sexually compatible at all and we hardly have sex EVER. Comunicationally speaking, I feel more comfortable with my ex. Family wise.. my family hates my ex and likes my current man. (thought theyve heard more bad about my ex and only good things about my current) but my friends preferr my ex over my current, I just need some advice from an outside source....
immitable Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I think you need a break from relationships and get your life in order before you pursue anything. Use this break to really find out what makes you happy. 1
Author lolavallejo Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 That is good advice. I am a serial dater, though. About this time last year I did take a break and was single, and within a few months is when I met my current and started talking to me ex all at the same time. I just cant keep my ex away, we are very attached.
veggirl Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 :eek: Speechless. Hopping from guy to guy, moving them in and out like furniture. You need therapy, not a relationship. I pity your new guy. Sounds like you and the abusive ex are rather made for each other. 1
Author lolavallejo Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 Yeah.. I always seem to think the grass is greener on the other side. Don't feel sorry for my new guy or pity him. He's more screwed up in the head than I am. Two weeks ago he got super drunk, left me at a bar... And then gave me a black eye when I got home. He also is a chronic drug user and suffers from depression. Maybe my ex and I are made from eachother though, that is something I am trying to figure out. I jst don't know if I will end up straying again when he bores me, or if I have finally matured enough to appreciate his dedication and loyalty.
veggirl Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Are you trolling or do you seriously let guys beat you and then get back together with them? Why aren't you in therapy?
Author lolavallejo Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 LOL no I am not trolling.. People are capable of change. Very few, but they are out there. I know my ex wouldn't do it again, as it only happened when we first were toghether.. and it was very shocking.. But I highly doubt my current boyfriend has the mental capability to change for the better. He just comes off as too emotionally insecure to make sound judgement sometimes.
veggirl Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 LOL no I am not trolling.. People are capable of change. Very few, but they are out there. I know my ex wouldn't do it again, as it only happened when we first were toghether.. and it was very shocking.. But I highly doubt my current boyfriend has the mental capability to change for the better. He just comes off as too emotionally insecure to make sound judgement sometimes. So why are you with the current guy? I know you said you're a "serial dater" (which is a problem IMO), but...even if you date guys, do you have to let them move in and stuff so quickly? I mean come on. Sure people can change. God at least dump the current guy ?? Perhaps committ to say...a few months alone?
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