MarkV Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Hi, dont know why im posting this but for some reason today has been a random tough day for me. My ex of 6 years ended it on nye saying she didnt know what she wanted in life although she was always talking about engagement, children etc. I supported her fully in the relationship (even when she went travelling for four months I paid all her rent). I never cheated, hit her or cursed at her. This puzzled me when she left. I havent seen her apart from two weeks ago when she asked me out for food. She looked so run down and admitted that she had been going out too much drinking and eating rubbish. She nearly started crying when we hugged and parted at the end of the meal. I havent contacted her and have no desire to as I know this wont help anything. I think she is having a mid-mid life crisis. Anyway, i went food shopping today which was tough as we always used to do it together(i even made an effort to shop at a different store). Its just all day iv missed her like crazy and feel so sad to see her become this person she is. Even her mum admitted that she is holding all her emotions in and going out loads so that she doesnt have to think about the breakup. Iv been getting there slowly but today has been tough for no apparant reason..need some kind words for a boost.
january2011 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 If you can, I'd stop talking to her mum. At least for now. You don't need the emotional tug to the heart strings that you get with every bit of news that you receive about her. Focus on your own healing. She's made her choice to breakup and, while your concern is admirable, how she lives her life should be a lot lower down the list compared to your own mental health and well being. It is an emotional rollercoaster and you will have bad days as well as good days. But over time, with NC, the good days will start to outnumber the bad. Keep doing things that will take your mind off the breakup. Take time to help others through volunteering. Focus on spending time with the people who still want to be in your life. Concentrate on getting yourself to the next minute, next hour, next day, next week, next month.
Author MarkV Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 Thank you January. I havent spoken to her mum apart from when she contacted me over a month ago. Her mum actually started crying on the phone. She then said please stay in touch as the family misses me but that is something that I defo WILL NOT do. Im smarter and more head proud than that. The breakup has pulled me closer to my sister which is a postive. I havent been out getting drunk like her. Iv been looking to get on the housing ladder, go to africa to volunteer in June and iv also got my big bday party at the end of April. Ill take today as a blip in the system as some days have been good. It doesnt help that im a teacher and that it has been spring break with a lot of spare time..thank you for listening though..means a lot
january2011 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 You're welcome. With regard to her family, if they contact you again, I would suggest being honest and saying that you appreciate that they still care about you, but you need space, so hope that they will respect that and understand that you'd rather not keep in touch. You've got a lot of great things to look forward to. Best of luck with Africa and all your plans.
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