dsw31 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 It's pretty well known that there are mainly 5 stages of grief after a breakup (or loss of someone) Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Sadness, Acceptance I know everyone heals differently and there are no concrete answers to this except for the fact that,I know you should not get too hung up on any one of these stages for too long (except acceptance ofcourse) My question is... How many fluctuations between stages have you gone through? Do you go back & forth between any particular stage more than others? Which stage is the easiest to go through? (I'm finding anger is helping me get over him & not want him back) Are your fluctuations, daily,weekly,monthly,yearly,or by the minute? Is it easier after you have broken up a few times, with the same person, or does this make it harder since you knew in your heart that you could return to the toxicity? And you know those breakup patterns of the other person? I know those are alot of questions but if anyone's got anything-I'd appreciate hearing your experiences (especially those who have reached acceptance) Oh yeah...once you have reached acceptance,do you ever go back a stage or two? Thanks loveshackers! This place is so great!
krissy1989f Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Hi I personally believe the stages fluctuate...one day youll be so close to acceptance and then the next day you can be sitting there grieving over them in denial that it's over. For example today I'm sitting here thinking about texting him but a few days ago I was so happy and actually woke up without thinking about him...just ride it out and remember feelings pass and the only way you know its legit and worth another try is if those feelings dont pass. I can tell you that you will get to acceptance though even if it seems you never ever will. My previous ex and I had such an intense relationship and we both did so many things to mess it up but we still loved eachother but he finally just gave up on us...I thought I'd never get thru the break up but now a year and a half later I can look at his pics of him and his new gf on facebook and be happy for him..."everything will be ok in the end, and if its not ok its not the end" stay strong <3 1
robkris8079 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 It's pretty well known that there are mainly 5 stages of grief after a breakup (or loss of someone) Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Sadness, Acceptance I know everyone heals differently and there are no concrete answers to this except for the fact that,I know you should not get too hung up on any one of these stages for too long (except acceptance ofcourse) My question is... How many fluctuations between stages have you gone through? Do you go back & forth between any particular stage more than others? Which stage is the easiest to go through? (I'm finding anger is helping me get over him & not want him back) Are your fluctuations, daily,weekly,monthly,yearly,or by the minute? Is it easier after you have broken up a few times, with the same person, or does this make it harder since you knew in your heart that you could return to the toxicity? And you know those breakup patterns of the other person? I know those are alot of questions but if anyone's got anything-I'd appreciate hearing your experiences (especially those who have reached acceptance) Oh yeah...once you have reached acceptance,do you ever go back a stage or two? Thanks loveshackers! This place is so great! I have gone through the stages about 1000 times already. I'm 1 month BU. No one stage more then another then I can see. I have to agree with you anger seems to be the easiest. Fluctuations in the beginning were pretty much by the second. It's not as bad a month later. This is the second breakup with her. First was more of a break for a week. This one is different but I wouldn't say easier. Now I can speak for acceptance but not on my current situation yet. But a past marriage that didn't work out I found acceptance. Once there you never go back. If you do you were never there in the first place.
Mr Scorpio Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 For myself personally, the stages went 1) acceptance 2) sadness 3) anger. Now, after about 1.5 years it is 90% acceptance with 10% anger that only pops up when I think of the ex.
Exit Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I think we all cycle through them randomly and repeatedly, I don't think anyone heals A B C D etc. I'm through the denial and the bargaining, NC is not a struggle for me because I no longer wish to talk to her. Just that part took me about 3 months. Now the anger is finally here, and I actually really dislike this stage. I've had a few moments where I want to throw something across the room when certain thoughts cross my mind. Also mixed in is a little bit of sadness, and even acceptance, because I know this is real now. I'm 80% angry and 20% sad because of having to accept the situation.
Life Person Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Yes, like the others say, it fluctuates wildly, and probably very differently from person to person. I feel like I experienced all of them on the day I broke up! For me it has always been fluctuating since day 1, but these fluctuations get spaced out in time, so I'm spending more and more time with each part as the months go by. In general, first it was a mix of denial and acceptance, then bargaining, then anger, and I feel like I may be slowly getting out of the anger phase, but seriously now I'm not even sure where I'm at.
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