Roxy44 Posted June 16, 2004 Posted June 16, 2004 How come no guys will approach me even though I will see them staring at me. I am a very attractive person, everyone I know thinks this. Obviously these guys think so also. I am not conceded or stuck up and I do not come off that way in any shape or form. I just don't understand if they are attracted to me why they do not act on it. If anyone may have an explaination to why please help me out.
disguy Posted June 16, 2004 Posted June 16, 2004 Well being a guy myself, i would have to say that attractive women can be intimidating. If i were to see an attractive woman i would think that she was already taken. Some guys just don't have the courage to find out weather your single or not. I would have to say rejection is what comes to play here. But also there are other guys out there that are full of themselves and think that they are just God's gift to women. I would just stay away from that type.
thecake Posted June 16, 2004 Posted June 16, 2004 I've dealt with this too my whole life. I think most men think attractive girls are already involved with someone. A nice smile goes along way in making you look more approachable to men who stare at you if you're interested and there is also no harm in going up to a guy and starting a conversation either. I know most of the men I've dated were too scared to talk to me for some reason so I made the first move.
dudesomewhere Posted June 16, 2004 Posted June 16, 2004 if I or a guy were to stare at you...wouldn't you think that creepy? No? Ok if I were to stare at you would you flick me off? Give me the bird? Roll your eyes? Mouth F Off? Let's say we had a nonverbal conversation from 50ft away and I was to point to myself with my thumb and gesture to my crotch and motion that I'm small would you say OK, like right on? And then if I were to reach into my pockets and turn them inside out showing nothing and shrugging and mouthing I'M POOR would you smile and say I DON'T CARE? Or would you motion that you like yours jumbo sized and prefer the bling bling by doing that oh so familiar 2 finger and thumb money rub? So what is it you do? Sure the guy stares at you but what do you do in return? Not "talk to the hand" I hope.
AfriendAllie Posted June 16, 2004 Posted June 16, 2004 Roxy, Well I can's speak for the majority of men. Honestly, you can't expect to get a good answer with concrete detail by asking it. I think you already know the answer. I mean, you said yourself that you are very attractive. It's only normal for us to persume that you are taken. Some of us like myself, are too scared. Others may be gay. so forth and so on. Since you were upset about the whole thing, I suggest approaching one yourself or giving more signals for them to approach you. Oh yeah, what do you think of male virgins in their 20's?
faux Posted June 16, 2004 Posted June 16, 2004 As people have mentioned before, one generally assumes that an attractive person is taken, and one usually does not initiate contact or do much more than glance here and there. If you would like these men to talk to you, I suggest that YOU go and talk to THEM. "Signs" are silly and often unseen or misinterpreted. Walking up to someone works much better. Additionally, do not forget that a very decent guy, in your opinion, who was looking at you may never, ever come up to you... He may think that you are completely out of his league despite the fact that you find him quite attractive. If you never walk up to that guy if you have an interest, and just wait around for him to make a move, you lose out on something there, don't you? Men do not have to go approach women. So many times there have been women interested in me, and I just didn't get any of their so-called "signs", so they never approached me. Later on they would find out I found them attractive, and well... That never really amounted to anything. ::shrugs::
Francoise Posted June 16, 2004 Posted June 16, 2004 I am very attractive, very smart, very confident and very secure. Guys will not approach me either. I would say, only very secure, very confident guys always approach me.So, what I want to say is, that you did not meet or not even pass by a very secure guy, if you have not been approached. When the right person comes, they will be completely attracted to you and they will not have a problem starting talking to you. I disagree with the fact that you should go and approach a guy. If he is that intimidated by you and cannot approach you, and this is only because of your appearance, you are better off without him. Now, also depends what are you looking for in a guy. Sometimes, I approach guys, just for conversation and not even thinking of dating or meeting them in other circumstances. For that matter, it is OK to approach them. If I want a serious thing though, I would never approach a guy. The ball is in his court once you approach them, that's how I see it. I want fully advantage, with the ball in my court at all times, that's how I am controlling the situation ( not the relation, because I am not at all a controlling person).
InmannRoshi Posted June 16, 2004 Posted June 16, 2004 I would add that if you play hard and strict with traditional gender roles and cling to an old fashioned notion that men should always approach and ask a woman out, don't be surprised if you end up with an old fashioned man with old fashioned views of women. Also, on an anecdotal, most of my guy friends who are extremely aggressive in asking out women are the guys who are mostly just looking for a 1 night stands. They have no problems approaching women ... they aren't putting anything personal out there, they are just putting on an act for their penis' interests... its not they are gong to lose face.
UCFKevin Posted June 16, 2004 Posted June 16, 2004 I am a very attractive person, everyone I know thinks this. Okay. Obviously these guys think so also. Okay. I am not conceded or stuck up and I do not come off that way in any shape or form. Uhhh.... Anyway. Do you smile at the guys you find attractive who are checking you out? Or do you ignore them? Guys need to know there's some interest there before they begin to even think about going up to you, if they think you're just thinking, "Ugh, another creep," they aren't going to bother. Give back the eye contact, smile, or hell, go up to them, why do they have to do the work?
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