Good badboys & bad goodboys. Possible?

[wwwjd]

I believe one guy CAN be the best from both worlds.

Take the best parts from a bad boy, the excitement, the over the top whatevers, and mix it with the best parts of a good boy, monogamous comitment, stable, listener etc.

 

If you could find someone who eliminated the hurtful parts of badboyness like cheating, stealing, breaking laws and/or morals, and skip the boring parts of a goodboy, wouldn't that be the perfect combination of everything?

 

I guess in that same bucket, I'd love to find that in a woman too. It would be rare, but seems possible to me.

 

Discuss!

Edited April 5, 2012 by wwwjd

[Nikki Sahagin]

I hope it exists.

 

I think that's every girls dream.

 

The allure, excitement and sexiness of the 'bad boy' but stable and loyal. I think it's pretty possible.

 

After all someone can be exciting and not bad.

 

But sadly, those qualities are so attractive that those that possess them do tend to become players because they know those traits are in demand.

[mortensorchid]

In a perfect world that's a dream. But, unfortunately it's either/or. So you have to go through your own crop of bad boys and losers to tell the difference between said behaviors and desirable ones (as in healthy ones). I wish I could find someone like that, but they seem to be either/or, or they are either not interested in me either. So ... That's where we are.

[january2011]

I think that it's possible in the real world because humans really are complicated and exhibit different parts of our personality at different periods and in different situations.

 

However, I think that when personality traits conflict, it might require a person to compartmentalise somewhat. Being able to compartmentalise is necessary for certain roles in life, but just as it is a valid coping strategy, it can also come with its own problems.

[wwwjd]

It is interesting but a troublesome dilemma:

- nice girls avoid me because of the beat up leather clothes,

- bad girls avoid me because I don't swear or drink enough

 

The good girl won't get to experience of fun of bad boy sass, and the bad girl won't get to see the stable support and respect.

 

I'm here alone on my motorcycle carrying flowers... WHERE are the girls that can ACTUALLY accept and understand this Construct?? I've never met one.

 

I'm just looking for a virgin nymphomaniac, but my friends say that is an impossible combination. I just just IMPROBABLE. Who's right?

 

Can't peoples be more than ONE thing?

[ThaWholigan]

Of course this is completely achievable for most men. The problem is, most men box themselves into a certain type.

[Badsingularity]

I hope it exists.

 

 

Guys like that do exist. Although I would say they are probably few and far between.

 

This is exactly how my GF describes me.

 

She describes me as a bad boy, but a good man.

 

It is not something that came naturally. I have made a concious and contiual effort to become a more well rounded badass... i mean good man.

Edited April 5, 2012 by Badsingularity

[USMCHokie]

Of course this is completely achievable for most men. The problem is, most men box themselves into a certain type.

 

Or...most women box men into a certain type...i.e., if first impression leads them to associate a guy as "bad," then he clearly can't be a "good guy"...

 

And likewise with "good" guys...

 

I'd much rather let a majority of women box me into a certain type and find the one woman who appreciates what I do have to offer...both the characteristics that make me "good" and "bad"...

[fishtaco]

Right. And the perfect woman for them are the ones that can defeat the triangle of truth... looks, personality, sanity.

 

Do they exist? Theoretically. I think they are as rare as honest politicians.

[wwwjd]

Guys like that do exist. Although I would say they are probably few and far between.

 

This is exactly how my GF describes me.

 

She describes me as a bad boy, but a good man.

 

It is not something that came naturally. I have made a concious and contiual effort to become a more well rounded badass... i mean good man.

 

yes! You have to decide to become more than one type. becuase we gravitate toward one or the other. But the one who recognizes the need and learns to embrace the BEST parts of both, is indeed a wise man.

 

But, also, yes, you alienate both sets of women that like either because of their not fully processed preceptions, probably baseon first impressions.

 

I see some ladies posted up here that they would LOVE this ideal man....

.... but would you (ladies) recognize it if it presented itself? No, would you REALLY recognize it?

[wwwjd]

I'm a geek and Mountain bike enthusiast soon to be getting an Alien tattoo.

 

This make me a good, bad-boy?

 

tatoo is from the badboy side, but what is on your good man side? The geek part maybe, is that what you mean? Smart, good income?

[USMCHokie]

I see some ladies posted up here that they would LOVE this ideal man....

.... but would you (ladies) recognize it if it presented itself? No, would you REALLY recognize it?

 

No, most of the time, they just walk right by me...

[Nikki Sahagin]

It is interesting but a troublesome dilemma:

- nice girls avoid me because of the beat up leather clothes,

- bad girls avoid me because I don't swear or drink enough

 

The good girl won't get to experience of fun of bad boy sass, and the bad girl won't get to see the stable support and respect.

 

I'm here alone on my motorcycle carrying flowers... WHERE are the girls that can ACTUALLY accept and understand this Construct?? I've never met one.

 

I'm just looking for a virgin nymphomaniac, but my friends say that is an impossible combination. I just just IMPROBABLE. Who's right?

 

Can't peoples be more than ONE thing?

 

Well i'm a bit of a virgin nymphomaniac.

 

Well...I've had sex with 2 guys...but I'm pretty behaved when I'm single and then go crazy when I get with someone. But I guess that's not quite what you mean

[Nikki Sahagin]

yes! You have to decide to become more than one type. becuase we gravitate toward one or the other. But the one who recognizes the need and learns to embrace the BEST parts of both, is indeed a wise man.

 

But, also, yes, you alienate both sets of women that like either because of their not fully processed preceptions, probably baseon first impressions.

 

I see some ladies posted up here that they would LOVE this ideal man....

.... but would you (ladies) recognize it if it presented itself? No, would you REALLY recognize it?

 

Not necessarily, because how a person thinks they come across isn't always how someone else interprets them.

[wwwjd]

Well i'm a bit of a virgin nymphomaniac.

 

Well...I've had sex with 2 guys...but I'm pretty behaved when I'm single and then go crazy when I get with someone. But I guess that's not quite what you mean

 

Doesn't already having experienced sex preclude the virgin part? Or maybe my biology has been remembered wrong

 

My unrealistic desire for the virgin nymph means she has nothing to compare anything too (goes for myself as well), and never need anyone else for that in the future which, I beleive promotes the absolutely healthiest sexual relationship possible on this planet: one of sole devotion, not concerned about the needs or expectations of anybody else, just growing in love and orgasmic bliss forever. Like I said, "unrealistic". It's good to have dreams though.

[grkBoy]

I believe one guy CAN be the best from both worlds.

Take the best parts from a bad boy, the excitement, the over the top whatevers, and mix it with the best parts of a good boy, monogamous comitment, stable, listener etc.

 

If you could find someone who eliminated the hurtful parts of badboyness like cheating, stealing, breaking laws and/or morals, and skip the boring parts of a goodboy, wouldn't that be the perfect combination of everything?

 

I guess in that same bucket, I'd love to find that in a woman too. It would be rare, but seems possible to me.

 

Discuss!

 

Those guys do exist...just as much as the model-esque woman who has an education, career, and isn't seeking a wealthy hot looking guy. One who will date a bland-looking average joe.

 

The issue...they are VERY RARE.

 

Yes...the handsome, exciting, wild, sexy male who commits and treats women wonderfully happened...but he was snatched up early on in his life by women who won't let him go. Those women know better and thus won't cheat on him or be stupid and kick him to the curb.

 

This is the real problem...when you have men and women in their late 20s and up hoping one of these rare specimens will somehow end up single and available to them.

 

I also agree men and women can gravitate to this...but too often enough pain hits that these men and women become either closed or "evil". So they pick either to just drop out altogether or to become playas/users/manipulators.

 

The real problem now is too many men and women want "fireworks" all the time...so they keep hoping for this "good badboy" or "model girl next door" because in their minds they fantasize that they will always have fireworks with that person. They never come down to the real world.

 

I see people like this all the time...chronically single and wondering where all the "good people" are.

[Anela]

They probably exist, but they're rare. As a guy, in order to pick the best from both worlds, you have to know both worlds, that's probably why you will not find many guys like that.

 

Most if not all bad boys I know are really bad boys. Don't get me wrong, they're not all "evil" people, but being around them can be dangerous and you can/will be dragged into situations where you get into trouble.

 

The difficulty with these sort of guys that they can't be stopped or controlled. They live their life like they want and nobody, not friends, not family, not the police is going to stop them from doing what they want.

 

Some women think they can change guys like that, but I've yet to see it happen. Some women think they can handle guys like that, until her house gets raided by the police or he brings dangerous people into her house.

 

You have to have been around a bad boy to really know what that means. It means you can get into dangerous situations, it means you can get into violent situations, it means you can get arrested, it means you will see them break the law, it means you will see them taunt dangerous people that will remember your face and name, it means they will introduce you to criminals or criminal organisations that will put a bullet in your face if you do something they don't like.

 

I can tell you this. If you tag along with someone that knows no fear, then the situations they create will give you a lot of stress unless you yourself don't know any fear. Most women, do not realize this when they go for a bad boy.

 

I can also tell this. In economic times like these, guys like that gain more power.

 

This is why I've never entertained the idea, let alone gone for one. I was around guys like this as a kid, and knew that I didn't want the stress, let alone the worry that my parents would go through.

 

One of my mother's cousins was involved with well-known criminals in London (mob). He was actually a decent guy, but I don't know just how involved he got - despite being best friends with them. He ended up becoming a Jehovah's Witness, but I'm wondering what he did to get a certain item for his mother, that had belonged to their mother. My grandmother ended up with it. I was really surprised when mum told me about his friendships with them, because he seemed so nice.

[fucpcg]

Well Heart pretty much nailed his insight. I probably would fit the bb/gb description to an extent. My recipe for this was take a kid, raise him in a bad neighborhood to bad parents, but with five sisters. I'm definitely comfortable around a rougher crowd, rougher settings, and unfortunately I have a demeanor that can be overpowering in the right circumstances. However I love my sisters to death, and treat women how I would want some guy to act if dating one of my sisters. Seems to be appealing to a woman for a while, then too much to deal with in the long run.

[xxoo]

Depends a lot on what you view as a "bad boy".

 

I have a soft spot for a man with passion, who doesn't care so much about the rat race or mainstream status. This kind of man can be intoxicating and intense, but incredibly faithful when he finds his "muse".

[Anela]

I've just found out that my cousin on the west coast, is still in jail, after being arrested for the third time on charges of drug-dealing. His mother was calling around the other day, looking for bail money, plus help with the fees she'd be expected to pay in installments afterwards (at least $9000).

 

I would have smacked him if I'd been anywhere near him, a few weeks ago, when he called his mother a c*nt, after she refused to send his rent money to him, instead telling his landlord that she'd send it to him herself. He'd quit two different jobs that ensured him an income that would have paid his rent, and covered food expenses, as well as having a little left over - so he had no right to that anger.

 

He claims that he got into this mess, because he was so in love with his girlfriend, and he was trying to help her and her mother out. I wonder if he'll ever clean up his act.

[Anela]

Depends a lot on what you view as a "bad boy".

 

I have a soft spot for a man with passion, who doesn't care so much about the rat race or mainstream status. This kind of man can be intoxicating and intense, but incredibly faithful when he finds his "muse".

 

Men can be that way, without bringing danger to your door. I know what you're talking about there, but they also tend to not want to be a problem for that woman.

[MrNate 2.0]

I am a good bad person.

 

Everyone loves me. But sadly, I am quite the thief.

[Els]

It boggles me why one would feel the need to pigeonhole men into two 'categories', IMO. I'm pretty sure there are more types of men than 'bad boys' and 'good boys'.

 

I don't need a 'bad boy' to give me excitement. When I'm attracted to a guy, few things are more exciting than just, say, a good romp in the hay with them or a fun day out together.

[KR10N]

I'm sure most women would love this. But I've known a lot of guys that were accused of being a "badboy" just because of the way they dressed or if they had tattoos.

[Nextlane]

I was always a good boy in high school, but eventually mixed with the wrong group of friends and being dyslexic made it difficult for me to gain good grades (gave up and ended up failing). After graduating, I went wild in terms of partying for hours and substance abuse started to kick in which spiralled me out of control. I was trying to get away from reality and the belief that my future was done for.

 

I never dated girls though during my darkest periods though and prefered to offer them my best instead of just being in a relationship. I also didn't play around with women (even with numerous offers), as it has always been my nature and maybe the fact of being close to my mother.

 

Forward 7 years, I've got rid of those friends and worked (60+ hours per week) for a couple of years to keep me out of trouble. I also was able to successful career wise, created my own business and completed a degree (was always a dream) with a high GPA. I am considered good-looking and sharp, which suprises a lot of people who want to know more about my past as they usually over estimate me judging from my looks.

 

I don't regret being on making such poor decisions when I was young as it has helped develop me as an individual, but I do regret putting my parent through such a horrible experience - majority of their arguments revolved around me. When I compare myself to the 'good boys' who follow the rules (HS > College > Work), I am still a lot better off in terms of life experiences and financial success.

 

I'm very blessed in being able to reshape my future at the age of 20 as opposed to now. I am a lot more mature about what is considered acceptable in today's society and do give my 2 cents for younger men who were are following that same footpath.

 

Life is what you make it. You will be amazed how much better it can become if you are dedicated, hardworking and loyal to yourself and those that love you.

Edited April 7, 2012 by Nextlane