Cypress25 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I know it is all in the challenge and that is what women like to try and overcome. but why repeatedly fall for a guy who just uses women. They know the players use other women and yet they still pursue the hell out of him. I can't speak for other women, but personally, I've never knowingly gotten involved with a player. Actually most of the guys I've dated were decent guys, not trying to play me, so I think I have pretty good judgment. Only two guys in my past could be considered players, but not in the sense that they were sleeping with other women at the same time. They were the type who date one girl for a few months and act really interested in her, just to get to sex. Then they vanish and move onto the next girl. Why did I get involved with them, you say? Because I had no idea that was their MO. They seemed sincere, they spent a lot of time with me, we went out on dates, we had real conversations, they were respectful, they even waited until I was ready for sex. I fell for the act, and no, I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't know if they had used other women in the past, and they didn't seem like they were using me. Otherwise I wouldn't have pursued them. The most successful players are the ones who do NOT have a reputation for being a player. It's a well-kept secret. As for your other question, yes, women are often logical about their romantic endeavors. The fact that I've managed to avoid players for most of my life is evidence of this. The truth is, most women go their whole lives without ever being played by a guy. They choose well and they have healthy relationships. You just don't hear about those women because they don't post on message boards asking for advice. Real life is not like an episode of Sex & The City. Most women are not constantly getting played by men with bad intentions.
thatone Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 most single ones are, those that remain single well past mid-life that is. we have all run across them. and they're not victims, not by any means. just as the 'player' type likes the chase and drops women when it's over, those women need drama and can't live without their issues either. that's why those people find each other without fail.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 So in the end sexual attraction manipulates us all into doing things that while against our own nature and well being perpetuates the survival of the species. This gets very complicated with people since we have artificialy removed ourselves from nature with our constructs. Still attraction is at play. Yes sir. And it works both ways. Men fall for all kinds of things that sexy women do - deep down, I bet most of them know what's up, but they push the inconvenient reality to the back of their mind in favor of indulging their urges. Men do it, women do it, human beings do it. I'm amp-ing up my sexiness lately, and the response from men is just phenomenal. I resisted the truth for a long time, but now I'm accepting it. I'll get sexy for my future man, and I'd appreciate it if he brings some sexy throw-down my way.
ScreamingTrees Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Eh. I think I'm just doomed to be the doughnut leftovers. Can't say I feel as if I naturally attract any girl's attention. I don't want the whole box of doughnuts, I just want ONE of my favorite flavor. It seems as though that's generally too much to ask, and that's what sucks. I guess I'm just not sexually/verbally exciting enough for any of the girls I'd be attracted to.. And I'm not attracted to "sexy/club" types, but I figure even the more "conservative" looking pretty girls I'm usually attracted to are probably screwing around with a few "orbiters" casually if anything.. Why wouldn't they just because I personally wouldn't? I don't blame them, it just sort of sucks because I'd rather be with someone who genuinely wants to be with me, where I'm not competing with two other random doormat losers. I refuse to be that person, because there are millions of people out there.. which is why I don't bother half the time. And I'm not sure I know why someone has to be jealous of a guy who acts like a dick around other guys but pretends to be a friendly warm guy around the piece of ass he's lusting for, especially if she appears unaware and is on a different page.. Just because I don't like the guy for having a smug **** attitude over being an animalistic dirtbag? Sure, I'm jealous. Or maybe I just don't like the guy and would rip him a new ******* if he pushed me.. ?
Necris Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I knew a guy (or more accurately knew of) who was a master at manipulating women somehow he would always find these somewhat well off women and get them to buy him all kinds of gifts and give him money and then he'd move on to the next girl, now he has settled down and married. I knew another guy who went to prison had a relationship with his correctional officer, got out of prison and married her and she quit her job, then he left her got another woman pregnant but kept the baby and came back to her and now she takes care of another woman's child.
Tybalt Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Women who choose "players" knowingly do it because they are trying to get validation that they are "special" and the "exception." They are looking past what is actually there and grasping at potential rather than substance. If they can get THIS jerk to love them, it helps heal the rejection of all the other jerks who didn't. Throw in the physical involvement, and they don't want to admit they made a mistake in their investment - and have all kinds of confusing hormones based on the insecurity of the arrangement and the natural oxytocin that binds them emotionally to the guy. And ultimately, it means that the woman is deep down as commitment-phobic as the player she's pursuing.
Necris Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Women who choose "players" knowingly do it because they are trying to get validation that they are "special" and the "exception." They are looking past what is actually there and grasping at potential rather than substance. If they can get THIS jerk to love them, it helps heal the rejection of all the other jerks who didn't. Throw in the physical involvement, and they don't want to admit they made a mistake in their investment - and have all kinds of confusing hormones based on the insecurity of the arrangement and the natural oxytocin that binds them emotionally to the guy. And ultimately, it means that the woman is deep down as commitment-phobic as the player she's pursuing. While I agree I think it mainly has alot to do with sexual attraction and sex, if the guy was ugly she wouldn't stick around but she is physically attracted to him so is willing to excuse all sorts of bad behavior because she just wants to have sex.
dasein Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 We all allow ourselves to be manipulated to an extent, and know it's going on when we are honest and reflective. It's on us to decide how much we will accept and whether we will engage in it.
SJC2008 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I can't speak for other women, but personally, I've never knowingly gotten involved with a player. Actually most of the guys I've dated were decent guys, not trying to play me, so I think I have pretty good judgment. Only two guys in my past could be considered players, but not in the sense that they were sleeping with other women at the same time. They were the type who date one girl for a few months and act really interested in her, just to get to sex. Then they vanish and move onto the next girl. Why did I get involved with them, you say? Because I had no idea that was their MO. They seemed sincere, they spent a lot of time with me, we went out on dates, we had real conversations, they were respectful, they even waited until I was ready for sex. I fell for the act, and no, I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't know if they had used other women in the past, and they didn't seem like they were using me. Otherwise I wouldn't have pursued them. The most successful players are the ones who do NOT have a reputation for being a player. It's a well-kept secret. As for your other question, yes, women are often logical about their romantic endeavors. The fact that I've managed to avoid players for most of my life is evidence of this. The truth is, most women go their whole lives without ever being played by a guy. They choose well and they have healthy relationships. You just don't hear about those women because they don't post on message boards asking for advice. Real life is not like an episode of Sex & The City. Most women are not constantly getting played by men with bad intentions. That's downright rotten that a guy would act interested that long for sex and then ghost. I mean you can't blame a guy for ghosting early on before he truly knows if he even likes the girl but to put on an act for 3 months, that just makes me wanna puke and I'm a man.
betterdeal Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 And ultimately, it means that the woman is deep down as commitment-phobic as the player she's pursuing. I agree. So, two people who want sex but not commitment get it on, and the problem is what, exactly?
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