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Is this a rebound

water4150

By water4150
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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water4150 Established Member

water4150

Posted
Posted

Long story short.

My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago

We were together forr 2.5 years

 

Reason: I wasn't giving her much attention or seeing her as much as she wanted.

 

She's 24 I'm 21, first love

 

A little over 1 month of no contact

 

So a month before break up she was talking to this guy. This guy is a certified Tool...

Reason why: he has a fiance, and talks to other girls behind his fiance back such as flirtacious ways.

 

Apparently there has been some flirtyness behind my back and she never told me about this. So now she has been chasing this guy and has gotten her absoluetly no where but lead her to heart break. She can't let this guy go. Nothing physical has happened to between them.

 

Is this a rebound without the actually relationship happening. She knows she's an idiot and feels stupid about all this. But she still has so much anger towards me. I never cheated or done anything bad. I was just so precoccupied with school (I'm a nursing major) that I had trouble making time for her.

 

But since the break up I have been working on me. I have been healing. I been working out I went from (128lb to 142) mostly muscle. I feel confident in my looks and everything. I feel great.

 

My ex on the other hand...it sounds like her life is in shambles going through all this. Chasing a nearly married man when she knows its not going to work out.

 

Do I want her back. As of now I say no.

 

Would I like her back...if she ever reverts to the old person the one I really fell in loved with and tells me everything. All this information came from a mutual friend who favors me more becuase even she realizes how stupid my ex is being.

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immitable Established Member

immitable

Posted
Posted

Hi, I can relate to your story bc same thing happened to me.

Apperently you weren't giving her enough attention so she got interested in the new guy.

 

I am not sure about her not having sex with him, see women get more attached through sex. I doubt it is platonic for her.

 

He probably told her many lies as well. She believes in them. She shows she is angry at you but deep down she knows she should be angry at herself.

For you would be best to stay out of her sight if you want her back or whatever.

flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

Posted
Posted
Long story short.

My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago

We were together forr 2.5 years

 

Reason: I wasn't giving her much attention or seeing her as much as she wanted.

 

She's 24 I'm 21, first love

 

A little over 1 month of no contact

 

So a month before break up she was talking to this guy. This guy is a certified Tool...

Reason why: he has a fiance, and talks to other girls behind his fiance back such as flirtacious ways.

 

Apparently there has been some flirtyness behind my back and she never told me about this. So now she has been chasing this guy and has gotten her absoluetly no where but lead her to heart break. She can't let this guy go. Nothing physical has happened to between them.

 

Is this a rebound without the actually relationship happening. She knows she's an idiot and feels stupid about all this. But she still has so much anger towards me. I never cheated or done anything bad. I was just so precoccupied with school (I'm a nursing major) that I had trouble making time for her.

 

But since the break up I have been working on me. I have been healing. I been working out I went from (128lb to 142) mostly muscle. I feel confident in my looks and everything. I feel great.

 

My ex on the other hand...it sounds like her life is in shambles going through all this. Chasing a nearly married man when she knows its not going to work out.

 

Do I want her back. As of now I say no.

 

Would I like her back...if she ever reverts to the old person the one I really fell in loved with and tells me everything. All this information came from a mutual friend who favors me more becuase even she realizes how stupid my ex is being.

 

calling it a rebound isn't changing what happened. she left you to chase another dude.

 

you're her second choice. is that what you want? or do you want a girl that wants YOU?

  • Author
water4150 Established Member

water4150

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Hi, I can relate to your story bc same thing happened to me.

Apperently you weren't giving her enough attention so she got interested in the new guy.

 

I am not sure about her not having sex with him, see women get more attached through sex. I doubt it is platonic for her.

 

He probably told her many lies as well. She believes in them. She shows she is angry at you but deep down she knows she should be angry at herself.

For you would be best to stay out of her sight if you want her back or whatever.

 

 

Hi, thank you for responding.

She is actually a virgin and told my mutual friend that there was no physical contact. She volunteered that information. Even when we were together for 2.5 years we never had sex and I was ok with that and I respected that. This other guy deffinately would try to pry it out of her and would just want her for sexual purposes. In fact their first meeting he said to her "lets be friends with benefits" but she walked away b/c me n her were still together. I didnt find that out till after break up from the friend.

But there has been no kissing or anything.

He also doens't want to because he doesn't want to ruin anything with his fiance.

oldguy Established Member

oldguy

Posted
Posted
Long story short.

My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago

We were together forr 2.5 years

 

Reason: I wasn't giving her much attention or seeing her as much as she wanted.

 

She's 24 I'm 21, first love

 

A little over 1 month of no contact

 

So a month before break up she was talking to this guy. This guy is a certified Tool...

Reason why: he has a fiance, and talks to other girls behind his fiance back such as flirtacious ways.

 

Apparently there has been some flirtyness behind my back and she never told me about this. So now she has been chasing this guy and has gotten her absoluetly no where but lead her to heart break. She can't let this guy go. Nothing physical has happened to between them.

 

Is this a rebound without the actually relationship happening. She knows she's an idiot and feels stupid about all this. But she still has so much anger towards me. I never cheated or done anything bad. I was just so precoccupied with school (I'm a nursing major) that I had trouble making time for her.

 

But since the break up I have been working on me. I have been healing. I been working out I went from (128lb to 142) mostly muscle. I feel confident in my looks and everything. I feel great.

 

My ex on the other hand...it sounds like her life is in shambles going through all this. Chasing a nearly married man when she knows its not going to work out.

 

Do I want her back. As of now I say no.

 

Would I like her back...if she ever reverts to the old person the one I really fell in loved with and tells me everything. All this information came from a mutual friend who favors me more becuase even she realizes how stupid my ex is being.

It sounds like you want her back. Why do you care, a know, so much about her if your not interested? So sure you want her back & a part of you is glad your doing well & she isn't 'cause she dumped you & that sucks. It sounds like you either haven't gotten past her yet, & that's fine, or your stalking yer, stop that. :D or go get her.

  • Author
water4150 Established Member

water4150

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
It sounds like you want her back. Why do you care, a know, so much about her if your not interested? So sure you want her back & a part of you is glad your doing well & she isn't 'cause she dumped you & that sucks. It sounds like you either haven't gotten past her yet, & that's fine, or your stalking yer, stop that. :D or go get her.

 

 

I don't go around fishing for details. My friend is the one telling me this out of no where. I don't ask for it but then again I don't refuse it. Yes it does make me feel better that she is going through hell. She deserves it.

 

I don't want her back. I want the OLD her back. But that is most likely not going to happen.

 

I don't have her number, I don't have her facebook, I hid all of her stuff.

 

I'm trying to move forward but its the first love and really isn't that easy.

 

May this even big her GIGS?

Edited by water4150
oldguy Established Member

oldguy

Posted
Posted
I don't go around fishing for details. My friend is the one telling me this out of no where. I don't ask for it but then again I don't refuse it. Yes it does make me feel better that she is going through hell. She deserves it.

Good for you. That's a natural response. (as long as someone doesn't cause their ex hardships of course).:laugh:

 

I don't want her back. I want the OLD her back. But that is most likely not going to happen.

You can remember the old her & grief the loss for awhile.

 

I don't have her number, I don't have her facebook, I hid all of her stuff.

 

I'm trying to move forward but its the first love and really isn't that easy.

 

NC & tell your friend if he wants to help, stop giving you updates of any kind for awhile.

 

It sucks, no doubt about that :(

  • Author
water4150 Established Member

water4150

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
NC & tell your friend if he wants to help, stop giving you updates of any kind for awhile.

 

It sucks, no doubt about that :(

 

 

Yea I been doing nc and have no other choice b/c if I do talk to her I don't think it would be pretty. And I'm actually kind of glad my mutual friend told me that. It did clear up some assumptions and feelings and I'm glad she did as much as I hated hearing it.

 

And yea I told my friend not to tell me anymore unless its about her coming back but I highly doubt that that is going to happen since she is preoccupied with complete bs. It's her loss.

 

This other guy doesn't have a degree or anything no schooling, milking his fiance money, mechanic (didnt even go to a tech school to become a auto technician).

 

Meanwhile I was busting my butt in Nursing school so we could have such a great future and and everything. It really seems as if her life is going downwards pretty quick. She also almost jobless since her 2 month contract is running up and they are not keeping her.

 

It feels as if she is more mad at herself and her personal life and is just directing/projecting it on me even though we don't speak. Basically I think she in denial?

Edited by water4150
BewitchedandBothered Established Member

BewitchedandBothered

Posted
Posted

This friend sounds like trouble===unless you hear it from her, forget about what this friend is saying--why is this person even involved??? Let HER tell you as it is between ONLY THE TWO OF YOU, not this friend. I'm not sure if I can trust a 'go between'.

 

Since you don't want her back, though, it should not concern you who she is seeing. Sounds like a rebound, sounds like this guy has all the right moves and the attention she needs/wants, etc. She will also get hurt, no doubt. But, unless you want her back, this is her business.

 

Lastly, stop listening to this friend; sounds like a nosey body to me.

  • Author
water4150 Established Member

water4150

Posted
  • Author
Posted
This friend sounds like trouble===unless you hear it from her, forget about what this friend is saying--why is this person even involved??? Let HER tell you as it is between ONLY THE TWO OF YOU, not this friend. I'm not sure if I can trust a 'go between'.

 

Since you don't want her back, though, it should not concern you who she is seeing. Sounds like a rebound, sounds like this guy has all the right moves and the attention she needs/wants, etc. She will also get hurt, no doubt. But, unless you want her back, this is her business.

 

Lastly, stop listening to this friend; sounds like a nosey body to me.

 

 

There's nothing wrong with this friend. She my closest buddy and wouldn't cause any harm to me. She's on my side if anything. And my ex is already hurting.

 

She's being ignorant in chasing something that she already knows it will never work out. And she even knows she is wasting her time...yet she still continues to do so....idiotic that it is...

lizardking8610 Member

lizardking8610

Posted
Posted

No matter what, if it is or isn't a rebound you're still going to feel down on yourself.

 

Stop obsessing about her and do something nice for yourself!!!!

SSexySSadie Member

SSexySSadie

Posted
Posted
Long story short.

My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago

We were together forr 2.5 years

 

Reason: I wasn't giving her much attention or seeing her as much as she wanted.

 

She's 24 I'm 21, first love

 

A little over 1 month of no contact

 

So a month before break up she was talking to this guy. This guy is a certified Tool...

Reason why: he has a fiance, and talks to other girls behind his fiance back such as flirtacious ways.

 

Apparently there has been some flirtyness behind my back and she never told me about this. So now she has been chasing this guy and has gotten her absoluetly no where but lead her to heart break. She can't let this guy go. Nothing physical has happened to between them.

 

Is this a rebound without the actually relationship happening. She knows she's an idiot and feels stupid about all this. But she still has so much anger towards me. I never cheated or done anything bad. I was just so precoccupied with school (I'm a nursing major) that I had trouble making time for her.

 

But since the break up I have been working on me. I have been healing. I been working out I went from (128lb to 142) mostly muscle. I feel confident in my looks and everything. I feel great.

 

My ex on the other hand...it sounds like her life is in shambles going through all this. Chasing a nearly married man when she knows its not going to work out.

 

Do I want her back. As of now I say no.

 

Would I like her back...if she ever reverts to the old person the one I really fell in loved with and tells me everything. All this information came from a mutual friend who favors me more becuase even she realizes how stupid my ex is being.

 

Confucious say....it sometimes easier to dig new hole than find old one ;)

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