brneyedgrl Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I found out that along with his depression, the reason we broke up a year ago was because he was interested in someone else. I kinda knew this because when his depression takes a downward turn, he tries to find others to make him feel normal. I stumbled upon a pic of then at a holiday party the month before we split after 6 years. I know it was over a year ago but it still hurts. he said he was trying to find something different than me so he could move on that much quicker. Then he came back and said it was all a mistake, then he left again! It's such a rollercoaster ride but I can't help but love him to death.
Philosoraptor Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Ok, so instead of working on the relationship he looked outwards for a soft place to land when he left? Of course he left again, his other option didn't work out but he didn't come back with the ability to give 100% to the relationship. If he wanted it to work he would seek help, he'd go the extra mile and do whatever it takes. 1
skywriter Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Hopefully ,you aren't interested ,in giving him any options. ^Aha!!! We think alike^
Nohbody Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 This doesn't sound like the kind of person you should spend your life with.
january2011 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 You don't want someone who runs at the first sign of trouble. You want someone who has got your back. He's not long-term partner material. But I understand that those are just words and you feel what you feel. Nevertheless. Strict no contact. Delete and block. This guy isn't worth your love. Not now. And definitely not until you die.
TaraMaiden Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 ..... I can't help but love him to death. god I hope not - why deprive some other lucky guy....? 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I found out that along with his depression, the reason we broke up a year ago was because he was interested in someone else. I kinda knew this because when his depression takes a downward turn, he tries to find others to make him feel normal. I stumbled upon a pic of then at a holiday party the month before we split after 6 years. I know it was over a year ago but it still hurts. he said he was trying to find something different than me so he could move on that much quicker. Then he came back and said it was all a mistake, then he left again! It's such a rollercoaster ride but I can't help but love him to death. Love him to death? what is so lovable about him? He sounds like the type who would throw you under the bus to protect himself. Also, you don't need a rollercoaster ride like this. "make him feel normal"; he will use any excuse to get another piece. For your well being, you must move on from this person; he is toxic.
Author brneyedgrl Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 I know he's not healthy your me right now and I know he hasn't been what I need. It's just defeating to think that I gave so much of myself and my life to him and we had more happy times than sad. I wish the sad times didn't make him run. You can't help who you love and that's the worst part of all.I keep thinking of what could've been, if only he'd take care of his disease and not run away. I hear myself, if this were someone what in my situation is say run like hell. I've invested a lot.
dsw31 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Browneyedgirl, I can totally relate to your story.My ex had already lined up his next soft landing spot before we broke up (all 3 times that we broke up) It's really tough because I feel like he is happy & unscathed,while I am stuck feeling lost without him & wishing I would be attracted to other guys but,I'm not.I am trying to open myself up to dating but I find no one adds up to that "image" I have of what he was like in the beginning. This time though, I am feeling a lot of hate towards him,which is helping me feel like for the first time,I don't want him to come back after his new girl doesn't work out.I am starting to realize that he is an awful person & I don't need it in my life. I hope you can begin to fully heal soon.Realize that HE will never be a good candidate for a healthy relationship(with anyone) until he decides to get the health & happiness within himself first.What I mean by that is,don't worry about him dating another girl.He will not have a good relationship with her either.He will probably leave her just as hurt as you were unfortunately.Just try to make yourself a better person & the right one will naturally come to you when the time is right.Take care of you! Best of luck!
Kamila Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I know he's not healthy your me right now and I know he hasn't been what I need. It's just defeating to think that I gave so much of myself and my life to him and we had more happy times than sad. I wish the sad times didn't make him run. You can't help who you love and that's the worst part of all.I keep thinking of what could've been, if only he'd take care of his disease and not run away. I hear myself, if this were someone what in my situation is say run like hell. I've invested a lot. Two things got my attention here: 1) 'You can't help who you love...' 2) 'I've invested a lot' You love that guy because he's indecisive. He's pulling you along and he manipulates you. Only you can break the chains he's got all over you. Say no to him, you'll feel so much better in the long-run. You also feel like this because you've given your ALL to that man. Never give all you have for someone. Result is that you get lost into him and you lose control over yourself. Never lose control over yourself. And yes, didn't we all invest a lot in a guy that's only worth a glance ? You give your all and he doesn't even give you the time of day ? You are worth so much more than the way he's treating you.
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