Is she a headcase?

[Shoe]

Well I am basically just writing this to vent, as I have no desire at all to get back with this girl. Here is my messed up story.

 

I met this girl through work, and we seemed to hit it off pretty good. We'd chat quite a bit at work, and one night we stayed up all night at her place just talking. The day after I asked her out on a date, and she told me she broke up with her long term boyfriend several weeks prior, and wasn't ready to get into a relationship. She told me that she didn't want me to be a "rebound" relationship. I told her I understood, and that I was fine with that. We decided to go out for dinner anyways as friends, and we had a good time.

 

A week later I was at her place for a company picnic thing, and as it ended, I asked her if she wanted help cleaning up. After we finished, we sat down on her couch. One thing led to another, and we ended up making out, and later ended up in her room. The next morning she told me that she didn't want to pursue anything, and didn't want to get serious. I was bummed, but took it in stride. I figured she'd change her mind.

 

The next day at work we flirted like teenagers, and decided to go out for the expressed purpose of messing around. We did just that, and ended up at my place. During the middle of it, she started crying, ran out the room and locked herself in the bathroom. She came out, and she again stated that she thought things were moving to fast and wanted to stop, and didn't want to be seen as "easy" by everyone. This cycle repeated itself several times until the last time. She'd say that she didn't want to make our "relationship" public. I was getting tired of being jerked around, and agreed. She repeatedly made comments that she didn't want to be seen as a slut, and seemed hung up on that.

 

I honestly thought she'd come back again, but imagine my shock when she started messing with my friend, who just happened to have just seperated from his wife a week prior. 2nd wife mind you. By the way he's 31, she's 23, and I'm 26. She fancies herself as a religous person, goes to church, etc. But she's messing around with a married man!

 

If the girl didn't want to have anything to do with me, fine. But to do that? Without even telling me? And my friend knew I was interested in her. With friends like these.....Neither one has said anything about it to me, and I don't talk to either anymore as friends. Except for at work, but I keep it professional.

Lord knows I'd like to ask her why she'd do seemingly everything in her power to try to hurt me, but I haven't brought it up. And my friend, what kind of guy would back door his "friend", like that?

 

So, what does everyone make of this? Was I just a boost to her self-esteem? Is she acting out for some reason, or is this typical? Personally, I think she's got a screw loose. My other friends and her friends also seem taken aback by this behaviour, and aren't too happy about the way this turned out. As I stated earlier, I don't want a relationship with this girl, I just can't for the life of me comprehend what just happened. I've never treated anyone like this before, nor have I been treated like this.

 

Getting used sucks.

[uriel]

Sounds to me like this is a woman who acts on her emotions without much forethought. She's emotionally needy, and probably felt either like sex was all you were after (that line about not wanting to look like a slut) or that you weren't a great fit for her (she was just seeing you for the ego boost and entertainment and went too far sexually, which upset her self image).

 

For some reason, she thinks your friend has more potential (he might just appeal more to her taste). No doubt she justifies seeing him because he's separated. Some people view that only as technically being married, rather than married in fact.

 

As for your friend -- if he knew you'd been seeing her, even if you were done seeing her, he should have come to you first. What he's done is insensitive. It doesn't mean he's the world's worst liar, but he's not been a good friend to you.

 

-- uriel