Anela Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 ?? You realize how co-dependent that sounds, don't you?? What is so attractive about weakness? How does strong and happy = not needing/wanting a man??? I just don't get it. What it feels like when men approach me when I'm feeling vulnerable is like the prey being stalked by a lion. I'm the wounded gazelle and I'm going to get eaten. And NOT in a good way (ha ha). My first response is to run. Anyway, don't want to thread jack. This really does deserve it's own thread. I've been feeling exactly the same way! I've had attention in both cases: when I'm quite happy, and not needing it, and when I'm feeling unhappy/vulnerable, and not wanting it, but I notice it more in the latter case. Someone I know on Facebook, said the same thing.
musemaj11 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Being used for sex is overrated. It sucks but overrated. After all sex is free unlike getting used for money. 1
Author mellum Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 (edited) Again, thankyou for the great replys. They really are much appreciated. I live in England and he tos and fros from Germany and the uk. Can't phone because of money woes so email is the best kind of communication for us. So I emailed him and I basically said "I kinda sorta like you" along with some other things - so not too intense, I don't think. His replys where nice and lengthy in response to other in my message..but when it cames down to the crux he said "Thing is I'm sure you kinda sorta hate me too haha, mind reading abilities ... yet! You know how I feel about you trying to understand me :P" Which was in regards to me thinking that after losing his V's, he'd be wanting to be reaping his wild oats.. I replyed back with "I do? Maybe deep down. Haha. Its only natural to come to certain assumptions and conclusions. Tis life my friend" Him: Sure you do Uuuuh*I like conclusions! What conclusions have you made? Me: Haha its like you want me to hate you or something. Oh a little of this, a little of that. Although most of them seem to be very trampy esque on your part Him: * Being hated is the easiest thing in the world Hahh!! I'm*the lady-esque! Trampy... when did that happen? I thought I was a good boy Me: Haha is it? Seems to take up more effort to hate someone. Ugh..look at (his name) eating his cracker, like he owns the ****ing place. Oh such a good boy Him: Right, flights to catch and shizzle to pack first. And yaaaaaaaaaaaaawn I got to sleep. It's been an exciting week * I'll get back to you when I'm in Deutschland. Ciao ciao :] And that was it. So he didn't say he liked me back or anything like that. The way we communcate is always jokey/teasing and playful..it took him months and months to just tell me he was virgin etc so..I dunno..is this all a lost cause? Edited April 6, 2012 by mellum
Professor X Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 (edited) Again, thankyou for the great replys. They really are much appreciated. I live in England and he tos and fros from Germany and the uk. Can't phone because of money woes so email is the best kind of communication for us. So I emailed him and I basically said "I kinda sorta like you" along with some other things - so not too intense, I don't think. His replys where nice and lengthy in response to other in my message..but when it cames down to the crux he said "Thing is I'm sure you kinda sorta hate me too haha, mind reading abilities ... yet! You know how I feel about you trying to understand me :P" Which was in regards to me thinking that after losing his V's, he'd be wanting to be reaping his wild oats.. I replyed back with "I do? Maybe deep down. Haha. Its only natural to come to certain assumptions and conclusions. Tis life my friend" Him: Sure you do Uuuuh*I like conclusions! What conclusions have you made? Me: Haha its like you want me to hate you or something. Oh a little of this, a little of that. Although most of them seem to be very trampy esque on your part Him: * Being hated is the easiest thing in the world Hahh!! I'm*the lady-esque! Trampy... when did that happen? I thought I was a good boy Me: Haha is it? Seems to take up more effort to hate someone. Ugh..look at (his name) eating his cracker, like he owns the ****ing place. Oh such a good boy Him: Right, flights to catch and shizzle to pack first. And yaaaaaaaaaaaaawn I got to sleep. It's been an exciting week * I'll get back to you when I'm in Deutschland. Ciao ciao :] And that was it. So he didn't say he liked me back or anything like that. The way we communcate is always jokey/teasing and playful..it took him months and months to just tell me he was virgin etc so..I dunno..is this all a lost cause? Wow, I don't think I ever seen someone say so much nothing. You seriously communicate in such fashion for over half a year? Are you like... 12? (both of you). IMO, this is a lost cause. P.S. You did well to express your feelings directly. Edited April 6, 2012 by Professor X
Author mellum Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 Haha no, those were the parts directly connected to my main issue. The rest of the email was in regards to other things we talk about, no point pasting the whole entire thing You really think its a lost cause? bummer. Thanks anyway
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I think it's good you put yourself out there. I can't really tell from the emails what he thinks of you, but hey, you were brave enough to tell him how you feel, you'll be brave enough to get over him if you have to.
gaius Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 You really think its a lost cause? Has he made any suggestions about seeing you again? Who suggested and set up the meeting you just had? You or him?
LexiB Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 (edited) So I emailed him and I basically said "I kinda sorta like you" along with some other things - so not too intense, I don't think. His replys where nice and lengthy in response to other in my message..but when it cames down to the crux he said "Thing is I'm sure you kinda sorta hate me too haha, mind reading abilities ... yet! You know how I feel about you trying to understand me :P" Which was in regards to me thinking that after losing his V's, he'd be wanting to be reaping his wild oats.. I replyed back with "I do? Maybe deep down. Haha. Its only natural to come to certain assumptions and conclusions. Tis life my friend" Him: Sure you do Uuuuh*I like conclusions! What conclusions have you made? Me: Haha its like you want me to hate you or something. Oh a little of this, a little of that. Although most of them seem to be very trampy esque on your part Him: * Being hated is the easiest thing in the world Hahh!! I'm*the lady-esque! Trampy... when did that happen? I thought I was a good boy Me: Haha is it? Seems to take up more effort to hate someone. Ugh..look at (his name) eating his cracker, like he owns the ****ing place. Oh such a good boy Him: Right, flights to catch and shizzle to pack first. And yaaaaaaaaaaaaawn I got to sleep. It's been an exciting week * I'll get back to you when I'm in Deutschland. Ciao ciao :] And that was it. Haha no, those were the parts directly connected to my main issue. The rest of the email was in regards to other things we talk about, no point pasting the whole entire thing This is everything that connected to the main issue? Must be a culture barrier because I don't get how you guys communicate. What in this relays either of your thoughts on where this relationship is going? Edited April 6, 2012 by LexiB
Author mellum Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 Well..exactly.. I told him I liked him, and that is how he responded. Very vague, to which I responded in kind. I doubt that a relationship shall follow and this will all boil down to an experience to learn from. Still sucks balls though haha.
LexiB Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Well..exactly.. I told him I liked him, and that is how he responded. Very vague, to which I responded in kind. I doubt that a relationship shall follow and this will all boil down to an experience to learn from. Still sucks balls though haha. But you allowed the vagueness by continuing the conversation in that way. You even started off vague with the "I kinda sorta like you" stuff. All in all, neither of you said anything. Whatevs though. I agree this isn't going anywhere. You can't have a relationship where both people are scared sh_tless to communicate honestly on even the most basic levels.
Professor X Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Well..exactly.. I told him I liked him, and that is how he responded. Very vague, to which I responded in kind. I doubt that a relationship shall follow and this will all boil down to an experience to learn from. Still sucks balls though haha. IMO, you two don't communicate at all, not in a serious way at least (given that you've known each other for over half a year). He sounds immature at best and either he plays dumb or really has no idea what is going on, or perhaps it's language barrier, who knows. I asked you originally and you haven't answer, so I'll ask again, was he ever in a RS before? Also, next time you talk, I suggest you push him towards a DIRECT answer - if he goes around or downplays it or acts dumb, tell him to push a cucumber into his butt hole.
Author mellum Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 Hmm, we do communicate on serious things, and have in depth conversation on other matters. But when it comes to "feelings", I guess we just don't know how to discuss them. I don't want to come across as needy or to be the one to want this more than he does. I don't know why he doesn't like to discuss his.. I wouldn't say there is a barrier, he is fluent in english and was schooled in england anyhow. He hasn't been in a relationship, that I know! When it comes to personal feelings, its like he clams up and it take forever to coax it out of him. And that does become very tiresome. Haha, I shall bare that suggestion in mind!
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