without Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Last year my bf broke up with me and left me wondering what the hell went wrong and and I was really depressed ...after 8 months he called and thigs happened and finally he confessed he is still in love with a girl who left him and married some guy some years ago. well...you never know. now I have problem believing what others tell me...cuz he was a liar and a good one! he would deny everything. I am usually optimistic toward ppl around me and I mostly try not to think about them negatively ... its not that i don't understand.I do.but i tend to be like this. now i'm just wondering what if most ppl lie, and i'm just being dumb to consider that ppl may have fears ,shyness or whatever...and you need to be good with them.
TaraMaiden Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I'm sorry, either i'm being incredibly dumb, or i don't understand the connection between the thread title and your post..... are you saying you two are trying again - or that you don't trust anyone at all now?
Author without Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 my bad.nope he came back telling me he is in a bad condition and he's depressed that he loves me.I didn't answer but after a while i said i can only be friends with him...after a week or two he said he's in love with her and now we don't talk anymore( me and my ex.) the problem is i don't trust anyone.
TaraMaiden Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 i'm not surprised.... somebody messing with your head in that way is hardly going to leave a positive lasting impression. Ok, DON'T trust anyone. give yourself time to move on, heal and keep your own counsel - but gradually, try to be open to the fact that not everyone is as crazy or mixed-up as he is.... I would recommend you read the Caliguy No contact guide in my signature/link - i swear it's the best piece of writing to come out since War and Peace.... and learn it by heart. it is a great method in which to let the healing process start - and while you are approachable to this guy - you're damaged goods with a whole load of baggage - to the point you may well not even trust yourself. Be well. Read, mark and inwardly digest - and hopefully, eventually you will trust again.
TaraMaiden Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 That's ok... you'll get others but this forum has so many members it covers several time-zones... So hang in there. support and help is at hand.... but in the meantime - get to know the guide. It is your best friend right now. And trust it - it definitely works!
shayla Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 So sorry that you went though that, I know what it's like to be around someone that is lying and playing mind games. After a while, it will have you questioning everything that a person says to you. It will make you second guess yourself and trust no one. And it will make you crazy with doubt and worry, you even start to not trust yourself. it is the most terrible feeling. So, with all that said here is the issue. What does it take to feel at peace with yourself and not see everyone on earth as a lyiing predator created just to make you suffer? In my case, I was lied to and gaslighted so well and for so long, I wasn't even sure if I could ever trust anyone again. I had to look back at the relationship itself and remember every time I went against the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach every time he said something that didn't seem right to me. When you hear a lie, or when someone is denying something, there is an instinct that tells you that something isn't right. You have to listen to that voice. When the red flags go up, you cannot ignore them, because when you do, you are denying yourself the protection and the care you need. You are putting a liar and cheater's needs and wants above your own and you will never feel peace. You are your own best friend. Always be kind and gentle to yourself. If a man is making you feel uncomfortable, or you don't feel good in his prescence, he doesn't belong in your life. Good luck.
Author without Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 So sorry that you went though that, I know what it's like to be around someone that is lying and playing mind games. After a while, it will have you questioning everything that a person says to you. It will make you second guess yourself and trust no one. And it will make you crazy with doubt and worry, you even start to not trust yourself. it is the most terrible feeling. So, with all that said here is the issue. What does it take to feel at peace with yourself and not see everyone on earth as a lyiing predator created just to make you suffer? In my case, I was lied to and gaslighted so well and for so long, I wasn't even sure if I could ever trust anyone again. I had to look back at the relationship itself and remember every time I went against the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach every time he said something that didn't seem right to me. When you hear a lie, or when someone is denying something, there is an instinct that tells you that something isn't right. You have to listen to that voice. When the red flags go up, you cannot ignore them, because when you do, you are denying yourself the protection and the care you need. You are putting a liar and cheater's needs and wants above your own and you will never feel peace. You are your own best friend. Always be kind and gentle to yourself. If a man is making you feel uncomfortable, or you don't feel good in his prescence, he doesn't belong in your life. Good luck. Great Answer thank you very much.I feel the same way... I thought about that too...but i don't know sometimes if sth is right or wrong ,is it truth or is it a lie...it's hard sometimes...
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