Leikela Posted June 17, 2004 Posted June 17, 2004 Wow, by telling us that, do you realize that you're making progress? On another note, that is a HORRIBLE childhood. I take it no other adult got wind of what was happening to you and your brother? How can your parents sleep at night? Were they abused themselves in this fashion or did they abuse alcohol or drugs? Have you gone to counseling at all for this? I cannot imagine growing up that way. I don't know if this will be of any help to you but I work at a child advocacy center with physically and mentally abused children and there is man called Dave Pelzer whom we've had speak for us. He was abused in just the same fashion as you. He has written books on his life and is now a spokesperson all around the country. His first book is called "A Child called "It" (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1558743669/qid=1087487878/sr=ka-1/ref=pd_ka_1/104-6554257-8693530) and the second book is called "The Lost Boy". I think he has a third book as well. He has managed to get over all the abuse he was put through as a child so don't lose hope that you're doomed to be this way for the rest of your life. Maybe reading the books will help you or maybe you don't want to be reminded of your past. Whatever the case, I figured I would at least make you aware that you're not alone and hope for healing isn't lost.
savethedrama4allama Posted June 17, 2004 Posted June 17, 2004 From your profile you seem like someone who would be worth getting to know. And that was before I read about your childhood, so no its not pity. I'm not a gay guy or barely legal in Moscow, I'm an all around pretty good person in your very own country. You might want to rethink your stance about not dating a girl who feels sorry for you. What do you want her to say, "suck it up"? You are right, you should stay away from those who just want to mother you due to your past, but whats wrong with a little sympathy? Are you afraid of letting someone in, or of asking for help? Because sympathy really is just a form of help by way of validation, listening, and understanding. Parents are our first form of help from our birth, yours obviously were more harmful than helpful. Don't let their bad example turn you away from others who offer their help. You are worthy of love. You will find it. Best of luck.
cherished Posted June 17, 2004 Posted June 17, 2004 I too am sorry to hear what happened to you. I don't "feel sorry" for you, I think your parents were probably mentally ill and needed help and it's sad that you were their "outlet" It is horrible that you couldn't have a happy normal childhood without living in fear! But I think it's wonderful that you've come far enough that you are able to do the things you've done, you graduated from college, written books, lots of things most of us can't say we've done and even if you haven't found your "soul mate" right now maybe it hasn't been the right time! I agree that using free sites is a good idea maybe you should join some yahoo groups based on your interests they are all free, you can browse profiles, email or IM or post all for free. When another poster mentioned how some women are really shallow now a days, I'm a woman but I'm sorry I have to agree! Look at most of the pop culture america today, all these young girls are trying to be or look like "brittany spears or jessica simpson" and try and fit the mold by dating "thug gangster" WANNABES but none the less it is sad a bigger trend it seems like! You should look for women with the same interests as yourself, someone who is as intelligent or at least who isn't a flake, You mentioned you can't even get someone to use you for your money! WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!! You deserve so much better than that! Someone mentioned you shouldn't limit yourself to the less than attractive! OMG who is anyone to judge another by their looks? Most decent humans know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder! I wish you the best of luck and hope that you can find a woman who'll love and respect you and who can give what you deserve emotionally, no matter what you shouldn't settle for less! And the story of "The Boy Named It" is a horrid horrid story! I watched that man on Montel and he went through soooooooo much but has came out better than could be expected! I'm sure you'll continue to live a wonderful life and go on to be even more sucessful, sounds like you're doing an ok job of it now! BTW don't know if this would interest you....this is a yahoo group my brother is a member of and there is over 500 members! It is a bbw group and a group for their admirers or anyone seeking friendship, romance, or whatever the link is below. Cool FREE Group in Yahoo
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