domple Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Basically it all started just over a year ago at the same time broke up with a girl of 2 and a half years, passed over promotion and basically kicked out after 3 years of loyal service so my bosses friend could get a promotion, also a couple of nice friends but basically many had moved overseas or different states so I was alone. After a few months I started internet dating but would only have girls accept me were ones who were super obese, relationship jumpers or just emotionally scared. After 9 months of rubbish I was about to throw in the towel but one girl who seemed like the complete package (mid November) said hey I like you and we started dating. She broke it off almost 3 weeks ago accusing me of all sorts of outlandish things like I hate her family and that I am homophobic (personally I think she has issues because none of that is true), she started dating almost within 2 days then calls me on Monday asking if I have STD's as she noticed some stuff, I am shocked During the relationship I had thrown my back out, stuffed my ankle, stuffed my knee, had 5 (yes 5) wisdom teeth pulled out, car accident amongst other regular life stuff. I am a hard working honest guy and I do want to meet the one. To be honest I am over the girl but I was so sicked the way it ended (she literally integrated into my life and my family, then POOF without even saying a word gone). I just feel stuck in life and I cant seem to focus forward more because all this crap keeps happening to me and I don’t want to jump into another relationship just for the sake of it).I started to go back to my church but everyone is 18 or 60 (I am almost 31). My parents keep saying to snap out of it and focus forward on my goals and the girl will come. But I just feel like every decision has always put me in the same place and im not progressing in any area of life. I don’t know why I am writing this and I suppose I should just focus on what I need to but it feels so hard considing one of my goals is to meet new peer and above people and I don’t want to go out for the sake of it. Maybe I am just venting I don’t know
nature Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I sooo understand how you feel, and I know everyone has been at this "place" you are at. It is even more frustrating when people tell you to just snap out of it. I know. I would suggest you put off the dating for now. that is just an added stress you don't need in your life. It's like the old saying, "you need to love yoruself before you can love someone else". Now, you are not happy in your career I assume? Have you thought of looking for new work, moving or going back to school? Have you taken up any new hobbies? I know this sounds like stuff parents would say to you, but it really does help. When my ex and I split a few years ago, I felt like you. Alone and confused. I forced myself out of the house to go walking and bike riding every day. I forced myself to make a new group of friends by really putting myself out there. There are always counsellors you can talk to as well. You are not alone. really you are not. I ended up booking a trip and going away to Mexico for 2 weeks as well. That was the best trip I ever did. It got me away from the everyday and got me out of my head. Sometimes a change is better than anything. Or hop in your car and go on some road trips. Even by yourself. It opens you up. Volunteering at an animal shelter is something else I did. It made me feel needed and I loved the animals so much. Just start doing some stuff you haven't done before.
Author domple Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 Hey Nature thanks for that, my job is a funny one, I have been promoted to a role where I can say I am getting paid decently well but the people are so negative. Also with the GFC its not wise to jump jobs at this point in time so I will stick it out here but I do not like the role but the money at least makes up for it. I was thinking of studying but I have a mortgage and they say go online but with all the med expenses and everything I am already in enough debt. My family have been suggesting I go into network marketing (Which is one of my goals and I know its not for everyone), my business mentor even suggested it to get out of my rut. They said you would make money and meet new people. I do agree with it and want to start but I just feel dejected with everything I do as of late.
nature Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Go on a trip! Seriously! Even if it's just for a weekend, by yourself with a tent! just get away. Seeing new things and different people can sometimes do wonders for the soul. Another thing....do you have any animals? My dog is my best little buddy and is seriously the reason I get up in the morning. Taking him for his walks. Seeing his joy. Try out some new things. Get outside. Breathe the fresh air. Go for hikes. Long walks. Do different things. Change it up. At first it probably won't help and will feel like a task, but before you know it you won't believe how much it helps to shake you out of a rut. New hobbies can be free, such as hiking or whatever!! Just get outside and be near nature! It's the best cure for the soul, away from all the everyday superficial BS!!!
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