petergriffin Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I just need any advice/help on what to do. We brokeup in November during a long distance relationship. The breakup was my fault because I would constantly pick fights with her out of insecurity. I moved back to her area early December and from then on we have been together, but it is not the same relationship. We've had sex twice in the last 3 months, she doesn't laugh at my jokes like she used too, she constantly is calling me annoying or immature, she is mean to me, no longer affectionate, and rude. Yet, we still hang out every single day. Last weekend I was so sick of her using me/ me feeling unwanted I ended it. I posted about it and for some reason I thought I was wrong and said sorry and got her back. The thing is, that two weeks ago it seemed like everything was going great, she was finally being affectionate again, smiling and giggly, acting like a girl in love with me again. This was until we got into a stupid fight and we didn't talked for 2 days. When we talked again she was very cold too me. (some background on our old relationship, we dated for a year, sex was 4-6 times a week, always smiling and laughing, never a dull moment and not much fighting until the LDR started, 3 months into the LDR relationship it ended). I saw on her phone a conversation with her friend saying "we hate each other, we only hangout with each other because we have nobody else." This basically is her admitting she has lost all interest in me. While just at my house, I confronted her about it and she freaked out at me looking at her phone and stormed out. ( I know I shouldn't have looked at her phone ). I called her and she ignored it and I texted her telling her it is horrible how she uses me and one day will regret it when I am not longer in her life. What is my best move from here. I love her more than anything, but she is clearly not in love with me and we will never have the same relationship we used to have. My gut is telling me to ignore her forever, but it is so hard! Anybody, somebody please help. I am so confused and upset by this and it hurts me so much. I love her and try 100% to make it work, but I can even tell she doesn't love me.
rAFC Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 She has all of the power in this relationship because clearly your interest level is much higher than hers. You seriously need to work on your self confidence. The internet is a great resource, use it to find techniques on this. Once you believe in yourself, you will never allow anyone to treat you poorly again. Until then, I'd avoid this woman because she already knows your weakness and is using it against you.
Author petergriffin Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 Thank you. I definitely feel my loss of confidence when I am around her. When I speak to other girls/other people I am very confident and feel fine. As soon as I am around her, I just feel dumb when I try to be funny and or smooth with her. When I try to make a move I always know I will most likely be rejected and it sucks. I am setting a goal of going two weeks NC with her. If she does reach out to me with in these two weeks, should I still ignore her? It is a horrible feeling knowing she used to be madly in love with me and I controlled the relationship and now she is in control and doesn't feel half the feelings I feel for her.
rAFC Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 If she does reach out to me with in these two weeks, should I still ignore her? Only speak with her if it is from a position of confidence. It is a horrible feeling knowing she used to be madly in love with me and I controlled the relationship and now she is in control and doesn't feel half the feelings I feel for her. Most of the people here can relate to this, I certainly can, just know that you aren't alone. You can take back control by regaining your confidence.
Author petergriffin Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 Thank you for the advice..I still want her back, but at this point I think it'd be pointless and I'd be better off without her because of how she walks all over me
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