xpaperxcutx Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 At what point do you unconsciously jump from being his girlfriend to his mother? My boyfriend recently got sick at and myself being the worry wart, started babying him with get well texts and phone calls. I even told him to biy himself some tea and go to bed early. I told him I missed him at which point he replied he needed me to take care of himself and ( jokingly) added momma aka " you". I'm really unsettled by that comment. I know I can be extremely sweet to people I care about but I never want to mother anybody let alone a guy. I've made that mistake with my first ex ie making him soup, buying him stuff, going out of my way to see him etc he eventually took me for granted. I came to resent him which led meto dump him afterwards. With my current guy Im sweet but to an extent where I'm wondering whether I'm allowing myself to become a doormat. Then I want to withdraw. How east is it for guys to take a girl for granted anyways?
xxoo Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 You don't need to stop being caring in order to prevent being taken for granted. If he appreciates your care, you aren't being taken for granted. If he returns your care, you certainly are not being taken for granted. As for the momma comment, I'm sure he meant it as a joke. After he is well, you won't be babying him anymore. Balance will return.
veggirl Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Theres a huge difference in being sweet and being a doormat. Being sweet is...being sweet. Being a doormat is putting up with BS behavior that you shouldn't put up with. I don't think giving him well wishes and suggesting tea is mothering him...but how much were you doing it? lol. Overbearing seems more like what you are describing than "doormat".
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 Theres a huge difference in being sweet and being a doormat. Being sweet is...being sweet. Being a doormat is putting up with BS behavior that you shouldn't put up with. I don't think giving him well wishes and suggesting tea is mothering him...but how much were you doing it? lol. Overbearing seems more like what you are describing than "doormat". Yes unfortunately I also have a habit of being overbearing. I tend to want to change a guy and my girlfriend has had to remind me occasionally not to be 'that girl'. The thing Ive been told the way to a mens heart is to treat him right and compliment him from time to time. But I also feel like within this short time since we've known each other, he's slowly putting less and less effort into ' wooing' me. I'm not spoiled but I feel like since he automatically branded me his girl he hasn't bothered to take me out. 1
veggirl Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 OMG what? A few days ago you said he treated you with more consistency than you've ever known. Now he is taking you for granted? Oh I can't keep up. This just...why?!?!?! You are wasting your time
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