FitChick Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 I had no idea multi-dating was considered "American style dating."
Author FitChick Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 Gas prices make it too expensive to multi-date.
123321 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Women used to hide it better by saying "we're just friends" when most of the time the guy was hoping for more, and the woman damn well knew it. Now it's just out in the open.
Author FitChick Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 She makes a good point: "If you open yourself up to dating a lot of different people, you might find that what suits you best is not what you were looking for originally. Jen says: ‘If I’d seen James on an internet dating site, I wouldn’t have gone for him at all. He’s five years younger than me and works in IT, which I thought was boring. But I’d been on so many so-so dates with men who were the “right” age or had the “right” job that I thought: “What have I got to lose?”And ‘what have I got to lose’ should be the motto of every single woman." 1
123321 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 The woman's average looking, and indeed bangable .... Eeeeeew, no, she's really not. Maybe if there were this terrible dating drought, for a couple years, maybe. 1
Author FitChick Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 British women always seem to look less attractive and older than similar Americans (when they aren't obese). Google "Samantha Brick beautiful" and see what I mean. She created a ****storm.
Anela Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 British women always seem to look less attractive and older than similar Americans (when they aren't obese). Google "Samantha Brick beautiful" and see what I mean. She created a ****storm. 'ere, I'm British (well, 50%), and I don't look that bad. My mother looked younger than her years, and my sister even more so. *edit. I don't remember ever encountering multi-dating in England, but I was a teen when I left. I don't know how it is now.
Red Arremer Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 A first date is a first date, it's not a marriage proposal. Have/set up as many first dates as you can with as many people as you can until you find someone worth settling down for. 1
oaks Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I had no idea multi-dating was considered "American style dating." Interesting article, but you know this thread will just degenerate into the usual "multidating is the spawn of satan" whingefest. Meanwhile, I had a great date last night. 1
RedRobin Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 During the short period of time I tried multi-dating, I found that yea, it was taking me away from the things that I felt made me an interesting person. I find that people who do lots of multi-dating seem to use it as a replacement for other kinds of socialization and... dating becomes a 'hobby' and an end in itself. Meh... I got better things to do with my time. I don't go on a 'date' with someone unless I'm sincerely interested in getting to know the person and quickly lose interest in men who leave the 'scattered' energy of the typical multidater. That said, I can see that it might be useful for people who are fresh out of a long relationship or commitment-phobic for whatever reason. In the first case, they really do need to find themselves again. Problem is, those people will inevitably run into people like me (who know what they want and aren't out multidating) and they've just wasted my day. Seriously. I really want zero to do with a multidater. 1
Pierre Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 A first date is a first date, it's not a marriage proposal. Have/set up as many first dates as you can with as many people as you can until you find someone worth settling down for. This mechanical approach to dating causes confusion. Dating is best done when a person unexpectedly runs into someone where there is chemistry. This may develop at work, school, a church, a café, etc. Once there is some early friendship and flirting the dating starts. Furthermore, date only one person at a time. Multi-dating dilutes the attention of the daters into multiple people. I think multi-dating is unhealthy. 3
Author FitChick Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 Dating is best done when a person unexpectedly runs into someone where there is chemistry. And what are the odds of that happening -- unless you are Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers?
oaks Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Dating is best done when a person unexpectedly runs into someone where there is chemistry. I agree, but I'm also happy to take affirmative action to try and meet people without waiting for random chance to do its thing. 1
musemaj11 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Multi dating benefit women and wealthy men the most. Women because they dont need to spend a penny regardless how many dates they go to and wealthy men because they can afford going to as many dates as they want. 2
LexiB Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 This mechanical approach to dating causes confusion. Dating is best done when a person unexpectedly runs into someone where there is chemistry. This may develop at work, school, a church, a café, etc. And what are the odds of that happening -- unless you are Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers? Seriously. Pierre its a very romantic notion and a scenario that I would love to have play out in my own life, but the odds are slim to none. Particularly among the mid 20s-30s demographic in big cities. This just doesn't happen. 1
phineas Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I agree, but I'm also happy to take affirmative action to try and meet people without waiting for random chance to do its thing. This. BUUUUTTTTTT........ when you are a divorced parent the chance to actually go out & socialize with adults ONLY means I explore ALL options at once because let's face it, people like wasting other people's time & I've never met an attractive woman that doesn't have at least a few guys she is talking to. I'm not even talking about online dating either.
Taramere Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 British women always seem to look less attractive and older than similar Americans (when they aren't obese). Google "Samantha Brick beautiful" and see what I mean. She created a ****storm. She's a columnist who created a sh*tstorm mainly because she wrote that she believes she is beautiful and that other women are jealous of her. The outpouring of disagreement (some of it abusive and threatening) was the sh*tstorm. Basically, men being outraged that she thinks she is beautiful and women being outraged that she should consider them jealous of her. We don't use cosmetic surgery to the same extent here...but I don't tend to think cosmetic surgery necessarily makes a person more attractive so much as just giving them a generic look. 1
phineas Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 She's a columnist who created a sh*tstorm mainly because she wrote that she believes she is beautiful and that other women are jealous of her. The outpouring of disagreement (some of it abusive and threatening) was the sh*tstorm. Basically, men being outraged that she thinks she is beautiful and women being outraged that she should consider them jealous of her. We don't use cosmetic surgery to the same extent here...but I don't tend to think cosmetic surgery necessarily makes a person more attractive so much as just giving them a generic look. I don't know any women personally who have used cosmetic surgery. Is that the consensus across the pond? That all Americans own guns & get work done?
Taramere Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 (edited) I don't know any women personally who have used cosmetic surgery. Is that the consensus across the pond? That all Americans own guns & get work done? Stereotypes eh? Funny how they're always more fun when they're being aimed externally. ETA...actually the British spend a ton on plastic surgery. I haven't had any myself, but I do know two women who had boob jobs and two who had nose jobs. Edited April 6, 2012 by Taramere
Pierre Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 And what are the odds of that happening -- unless you are Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers? What???? I run into women I could date on an almost daily basis. And if I am in a relationship I ran into woman I could easily date daily. At least it seems that way. I would never go on dates for the sake of dating and hoping that something would happen. I am repulsed by the idea. If i ask someone on a date is because there is some chemistry in place. 1
Pierre Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Seriously. Pierre its a very romantic notion and a scenario that I would love to have play out in my own life, but the odds are slim to none. Particularly among the mid 20s-30s demographic in big cities. This just doesn't happen. I assume you work in an office where there is only one employee and that is you. Or you go to school and there is only one student and that is you. Or you go to a park to walk your dog and there is no one there. Or you go to a cafe and you are the only customer. Opportunities to meet people are everywhere. Just make some eye contact.
anne1707 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 British women always seem to look less attractive and older than similar Americans (when they aren't obese). Google "Samantha Brick beautiful" and see what I mean. She created a ****storm. In turn, I could say that American women all look bland and boring because they have all had "work" done to them to match some idealised image of how a woman should look. However that would be judgemental of me and would be making use of stereotypes based on ignorance (apart from the fact that it is complete nonsense). After all, it would be like someone saying people in the UK have green teeth, or barely wash and when they do they use carbolic soap. Who on earth would be so stupid to think that? Maybe a Daily Mail reader.....
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