Juno Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 My boyfriend and I have been together for awhile. Last weekend we were out at a club sitting around, not necessarily looking like we were together...I guess. Out of the corner of my eye and in hearing distance, this cocktail waitress walks up next to my boyfriend, caresses his face with her hand and kisses him on the cheek. She then says, hi, what are you doing here, why are you not dancing. He unenthausiastically replied, "I'm here with my girlfriend". This almost seemed like a code to take it easy. Later that night, I saw the same waitress whispering something in the ear of another waitress as she pointed me out from across the room. I later asked him how does he know her and why did she feel so comfortable and familar with him to kiss him on the cheek. He said he didn't know, maybe she thought he was someone else, or possibly because he may have given her a big tip in the past. Of course I want to believe him, but my radar is going off like crazy. I think there is something going on between the two of them. Tell me I'm wrong.
darkmoon Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 some nightclub workers do see a sort of right to nab (I was one but not a nabber) but unless your boyfriend takes you somewhere else, he is being a sh*t.
g450 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Had one waitress that would do that with both me and my GF. I thought it was funny. In your case it sounds like she is only being this way towards him so I would say Red Flag. Time to do some checking.
Author Juno Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 I want to believe him, but still cannot. I don't have random people planting kisses on my face. He says that we can go back to the club this Friday and confront the waitress, but this will only prove they are backing each other up. I am not an overly jealous person, but my reasoning cannot accept there is nothing going on between the two of them.
PegNosePete Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 He told her he has a girlfriend. He is not responsible for the waitress's actions. What do you expect him to do if a waitress does this to him for no reason? What has HE done wrong?
bikinibeach Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Waitress or not...that is really unacceptable behavior on work time. report her to management! time to reassess your 'bf'. 1
Author Juno Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 He told her he has a girlfriend. He is not responsible for the waitress's actions. What do you expect him to do if a waitress does this to him for no reason? What has HE done wrong? "What has he done wrong?" This is what I am trying to figure out. Obviously he has done something with this waitress prior to make her feel she has the right to kiss him on his face. People without prior contact would not be so bold.
Author Juno Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 So I just called the club and complained to management. She said the waitresses are instructed not to have any physical contact with the guests. She also said this is unique because usually it's the cocktail waitresses complaining that the guests are groping them. In any event she said this behavior was unacceptable and she will speak with the food and beverage manager about this person. In the meanwhile, I have told my boyfriend that I made this call and he still maintains he don't know her and has nothing to do with her....Liar!
darkmoon Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 i once had a girl to that to a man i was with - he did not know her from adam, i have writen about night-club work and pushy girls who work there, but i just remembered what one girl did a long long time ago to me - your boyf might be on the level
The dot Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 The fact that he still wants to go to nightclubs at all is a major red flag as far as any kind of relationship potential is concerned. Let's face it, people only go to those meat markets for one thing (and it isn't the $15 martinis). However, it all comes down to this. If you don't trust him, you shouldn't be with him. It's that simple. Calling a club and telling a waitress to stay away from him is the start of the slippery slope. Next you'll be checking his emails, trying to find out what he's been up to with his co-workers and all the rest of it. It just isn't worth that kind of stress. You need to ask yourself whether he's to be trusted or not, and the answer to that question will tell you whether it's worth staying with him at all.
Author Juno Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 The fact that he still wants to go to nightclubs at all is a major red flag as far as any kind of relationship potential is concerned. Let's face it, people only go to those meat markets for one thing (and it isn't the $15 martinis). However, it all comes down to this. If you don't trust him, you shouldn't be with him. It's that simple. Calling a club and telling a waitress to stay away from him is the start of the slippery slope. Next you'll be checking his emails, trying to find out what he's been up to with his co-workers and all the rest of it. It just isn't worth that kind of stress. You need to ask yourself whether he's to be trusted or not, and the answer to that question will tell you whether it's worth staying with him at all. Slippery slope indeed. For me, all it takes is one tumble and if I find out he has had any type of relationship with this girl after he has adamantly claimed not to know her at all...I'm done!
gaptoothsally Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 you gotta do some snooping. facebook, emails, maybe check with friends? does he go out and drink without you? also, check out his body language. when people lie, they usually look the the left, i believe. do you know how he reacts when he lies? observe him closely. it could really be anything though. she might of thought he was cute and decided to hit on him to get tips or whatever. how did she react when he said he was with his girlfriend? i would be super pissed and suspicious as well. just do as much as you can to find out the truth..
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