Doid Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 Hi I'm new here and just thought some of you could give some advice or share an experience. I am still not over my ex after 4 plus years. We dated for 3 and a half years until she left me for another man. Our relationship was not the smoothest I've ever had, but it was the longest and most intense. It was kind of an on again off again relationship, although we never split for more than a day or two(she would break it off then want to get back together). When we first started dating, things were great. We had so much in common and I was amazed that she was interested in me. We would talk for hours and the intimacy was great, more than just sex. There was an age difference between us and after time it began to really show. She would go out and hang out with another guy and get drunk with him. She swore that she never slept with him but there were rumors going around our mutual friends. Also, she wanted to eventually get married, but I just didn't want to make that kind of commitment because of other things she was doing. She had a bad temper too. Closer to the end, I broke it off with her and said I needed time before we were together again, although we would still talk and see each other almost just as much. Then she went to visit her sister (I found out a little later that she met an ex bf in vegas) and when she got back she said I must make a decision one way or the other. Of course I wanted to be with her, so we got back together. She ended her friendship with the other guy. It was great for a while, and we started a local book club together. There is where we both met J. I didn't know it, but he started to pursue her. After some time, they began to go out and drink together. I found out and broke it off with her, although we continued to see each other and talk all the time. I wanted her back, but just wanted her to stop all this. Before I knew it, they were dating. That only made me want her more. After a week of them dating, she cheated on him with me. So the next day, she broke it off with him and we started dating again. But after only a week, I found out through a status update on his myspace, that they were dating again. She was two timing us both. He didn't know that she was still dating me. So he had said in his status that he was taking his lady out for the night, so I texted her and invited her over. She made excuses but I didn't say anything. I went around to the clubs and found them sitting together. I left without saying anything and then called her and told her I had seen her and called her a liar and a whore. I was so angry. We never dating again after that but after a little time she cheated on him with me again a few times. She said she was still in love with me, but I was not willing to give her what she needed (love and commitment). If it had not been for all this on her part, I would have given her that. So she continued dating him and eventually we became just friends, but I hesitate to call it friends. She wanted to be, but I was still so hurt, it hurt to even be around her. We still texted a lot. After a two years they moved in together in a nearby town. We still texted some until 6 months ago she texted me and told me they had been engaged and were about to get married. So now they've been married about 6 months and we haven't talked at all. I just recently started dating a woman (for about 4 months) but I just don't have feelings for her. I know it bothers her, but she tries to be understanding (as how she knew ex and J) and what I went through. We still have some old mutual friends, and I hear about them sometimes. I know it sounds crazy that I still miss her and think about her. But I do. Sorry so long winded. So what can I do?
Nohbody Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 How much of this has to do with your ego at this point? I don't mean that in a mean way, please think hard.
Author Doid Posted April 4, 2012 Author Posted April 4, 2012 Do you mean is it more about how she made me feel than actually her herself? That is a point I had not thought of and need to examine. Thank you.
Nohbody Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 You are on the right track, take some time to contemplate this.
Mr Scorpio Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 And while you're contemplating how she made you feel, I hope you take time to focus on the turbulent nature of your relationship. If you didn't want to commit to this person before she cheated on/lied to you, why would you want to afterwards?
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