SadBabyGirl Posted June 16, 2004 Posted June 16, 2004 Ok so we did the no contact thing for about 2 months now and then to my surprise, he contacted me...he said still the relationship wont happen again but he was totally sweet to me, said hes thinking and worrying about me and such and i was so happy that he was opening up to me once again. I wrote him back and i said I think you should go see a pyschotherapist or counselor because his email said hes lost, and i felt maybe he needs someone to talk to. so i wrote that i said you need to resolve the issues, etc etc i thought it would make him feel better BUT I messed up however, because he took that harshly and thought i was attacking him so he emailed me back and told me of the things i did to make him want to break up with me, i felt horrible after reading the email and he told me that all my apologies were just "words" and he said at least i dont use only words, he said apologies are the only thing im giving him now that his life is messed up. What should i do now guys? He finally came back around, then i said that stupid choice of words thinking i was helping him coz i DO CARE and he took it harshly... and he said he doesnt want to talk to me again either, only my friends or family but not me :-( what can i do to prove to him how sorry i am for what happened in past, and for the present. Does it sound like i really truly lost him for good now? :-/ and yes what i did in the past was bad as i found out, it was something actuallyi did without thinking and he found out about it, basically i was careless and told my ex about my personal life and relation with my new bf thinking my ex was stilll my buddy but i was imature about it, i was carelessly chatting to him about things that was going on in my life to basically rub it in his face but in the same time my ex was laughing at me coz i was saying things in a joking sense coz i was only bull ---ing him to keep him from wanting to hurt my new boyfirend i thought by telling him things he wudnt feel threatened and would still feel he was a part of my life , he was like that he threatened to turn me in for adultery after i met my new boyfriend and i was afraid of that... and my new boyfriend told me after he found out PERSONAL IS PERSONAL and should not go out. So the whole chat history was saved in the PC under the yahoo archives and my bf had my pass, so he read the whole history and everything i said he read it and was so hurt, and i lied to him and said i didnt talk to my ex it was my friend just to keep him from leaving me and then he hurt me by breaking up with me for this mess. Any suggestions IM going really nutty over this,, the anxiety and everything. I learned from my lesson that in the future with him or someone else i wont put any trust in ex's or keep contacts, or say lies and stupid things on the computer to mess with their mind. This whole thing ruined our relation we were even about to marry and i was shocked as to of why he left me, he never told me what i did wrong because he didnt want me to feel bad about myself for what i did but finally i pushed him to tell me when i told him he needs to seek counseling. What should I dO? bACK OFF? I still love him and he doesnt believe me he said all trust is lost...
faux Posted June 16, 2004 Posted June 16, 2004 This is exactly why one should not contact one's ex; horrible things like this happen. If he contacted you I believe it would have been best not to reply at all. I am sorry you are in this situation, as you went with your feelings. I think it is best that you no longer speak with him, especially since he said he no longer wishes to speak with you. Yes, it is best to back off and let the pain sink in. In time, the pain WILL go away and you will recover. The more you worry about your ex, try to talk to him, or find out what is happening in his life, the worse things are going to be on you. I know it wil be truly difficult to do this, but it will help. Whatever you choose to do, however, you will do. One must learn on one's own in these situations.
Author SadBabyGirl Posted June 17, 2004 Author Posted June 17, 2004 Well me and my ex arent that cold hearted enough to leave eachother hanging in silence, I tried doing the no contact thing for 2 months but we slip up and email eachother to say whats going on even we both know the relationship wont work again, we have been contacting eachother just there are a lot of misunderstandings. The thing is i really hurt him otherwise he wouldnt have broken up with me, and I want to show him, prove to him how sorry I am without using "just words" as he sees it, my apologies are only words and arent helping him any in the situation. How is a good way of showing someone how sorry you are and show that you still care for them no matter? I know i made a mistake and learned from my lesson the hard way but still, being a good hearted person I want to do something nice for him just out of the goodness of my heart without any expectations in return. Any Suggestions?
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