elisheva Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 So I've been talking to this guy online since April 2011 and we finally met in person in March; we had an AMAZING time together and were both tearing up when we departed at the airport. I have some trust issues but I was really able to open up to him and he opened up to me as well, telling me some very personal information and such. I'm american and he is swedish, we both live in our native countries currently. We both very much want this to work in the long-term but I've been very sad and frustrated with how things have been going lately, and am close to just giving up. It has always been hard talking to him online via skype or email, and texting is a little better but still sporadic; our communication levels have not changed since our trip, and we actually have been talking less (maybe once a week now if we're lucky). last friday he texted me to tell me that he missed me and wanted to know if i had time to talk over the weekend, well i was out of town but coming back on sunday morning so would be back before it got late for him so i told him this and texted him to let him know about an hour before i got home that i was on my way back and would be there at X time...well 30 minutes later he responds saying that he's tired and is going to sleep it is hard to talk to him during the weekdays because of the time difference and i have work in the day. we managed to IM today for a bit but it was very short and I don't know, I guess I just get this feeling that he isn't really interested in me but doesn't know how to say "go away." he tells me that he misses me and really likes me and things but doesn't respond to most of my text messages and when we were together, he kept saying that he wanted to visit me this summer and was waiting for an invitation, so when I finally found out that I'd be free for a month after an exam and before I travel for work for two months, I let him know and he says he needs to think about it because it's such a long trip. I understand it is a long trip (I traveled from CA to Europe to see him, so I know!) but if we want to make it work, there are going to be long trips... He says he wants to make this work but I guess I am unsure. I am going through a lot with work stress right now and I am a bit lonely so I miss having him to talk to about things; that said, I don't know if maybe I am just overreacting because of the stress. it surely doesn't help me though that i am still getting mixed messages from him. help anyone? please?
rosadeldesierto Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 I posted my long story a few minutes ago. Some way I've been in your shoes. I met this awesome guy online. We live in different countries. Believe it or not, we were in a LDR for 3 years and he just visited my country twice. I was able to do that once which was very frustrating. We got engaged for almost 1 year but he broke me up 4 months ago. I've been devastated. I am looking for answers but at the end of the day, you can tell those are related to a lack of communication even we were online around 5 hours a week for 3 years! Lack of physical contact it can be very draining and sad also. Honestly if I was told how hard it was going to be for me to get involved in a LDR, I quit since from the beginning. I hate to be a downer but I guess I learnt that the most difficult issue about a LDR to success, it is if you start that for dating.
TMichaels Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 He says he wants to make this work but I guess I am unsure. Then why don't you tell him this and talk about it instead of just talking to yourself inside your own head? If he won't set aside to discuss it, or gives you some b.s. like "Oh, I don't know we'll just figure it out as we go along," then I would move on. A LDR without a game plan that the two of you agree upon and both don't do your part to make happen won't last long. Best, TMichaels
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