gotye Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 some guy on okc keeps asking me this... it's been 3 messages in a month, all ignored he/she/it (i didn't bother clicking on his profile) doesn't even have a profile picture, I certaintly hope it's a troll and not some creepy guy who will get some desperate girl into his grasps. I personally never would be in a bdsm based relationship... even if the dude looked like benedict cumberbatch... ok maybe if he did... but only maybe
wwwjd Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 Isn't every relationship with a female BDSM by default? Ha! kidding. Not, not for me. I can't love and hurt someone at the same time.
Author gotye Posted April 4, 2012 Author Posted April 4, 2012 Isn't every relationship with a female BDSM by default? Ha! kidding. Not, not for me. I can't love and hurt someone at the same time. I can see once in a while a bit of wildness to be appealing... but one of those relationships where they collar the other and refer to each other as master and slave? ew... i have two friends into that.
carhill Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 I used to build the gear but never had the pain myself. The beautiful agony does hold some appeal, but only with an otherwise compatible partner. We do have a couple LS'ers who are into BDSM and are in such relationships and hopefully they'll chime in.
Professor X Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 ok maybe if he did... but only maybe Of course you would, don't kid yourself even for a split sec - and thus you answer your own question. Gj.
Author gotye Posted April 4, 2012 Author Posted April 4, 2012 I used to build the gear but never had the pain myself. The beautiful agony does hold some appeal, but only with an otherwise compatible partner. We do have a couple LS'ers who are into BDSM and are in such relationships and hopefully they'll chime in. if they are happy with it, that's cool, definitely just posting about how creepy this particular fellow is and how I don't like that... unless ofcourse the man is so gorgeous I would do whatever he asked
Author gotye Posted April 4, 2012 Author Posted April 4, 2012 Of course you would, don't kid yourself even for a split sec - and thus you answer your own question. Gj. what question?
fucpcg Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 I've always had an attraction to the fetish world, and I have dated plenty of women who shared in it with me. I have also dated some very vanilla women, and found that just doesn't work for me. It's a question I will get to very quickly anymore when talking to a woman, cause I have no interest in wasting mine nor her's time. If I find her answer is similar to your's, I don't ask again, I walk. Sexual compatibility as important as any other compatibility.
ThaWholigan Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 Not a relationship based on it, no. I've thought about some things admittedly, but petty stuff like tying up the hands to the bed head, biting etc.....
dreamingoftigers Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 (edited) I used to be. I learned a little about it too, apparently a high percentage of BDSM enthusiasts experienced great pain in childhood during the years the sexual identity portions of the brain start forming. In those particular years, I was abused and shamed the harshest by my father. He did not SEXUALLY abuse me (just for important clarification). However, I can definitely see the links: pain, trauma and abuse had come to mean intimate bonding. The father-daughter bond was the primary example of male-female relationship to me. Plus watching my weak-willed pathetic mother cower to every feeling he had (she was never physically abused by him, in fact she could be just as emotionally and verbally abusive when she chose). That being said, pain and shame light up some former abused children's brains like Christmas Trees. The BDSM or abusive relationships become very addictive. It is how we have learned to bond. The sex is intense. The bonds are hyper-intense and the roles very rigid. After I had my daughter I no longer craved that type of attention. The abuses are confused for passion. I just couldn't envision T's mother (me) being in binds smacked around. Luckily I married a man that wasn't into that and never would do it anyways. Worked out in that regard. Edited January 25, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
threebyfate Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 No. The thought of giving or receiving pain is not only disturbing to me but shuts down arousal like nothing else.
daphne Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Only if I got to be the sadist. Kidding. I think that's the kind of thing that people do when they don't know what they're doing.
Feelin Frisky Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Generally no. But right now I'm up for an exception--as long as I'm the dom. The last thing I need to to be tied up and degraded by a woman (I'm mad at my mother).
CarrieT Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I used to build the gear Did you now???? How fascinating!?!?! We do have a couple LS'ers who are into BDSM and are in such relationships and hopefully they'll chime in. That would be me.... I am in a BDSM relationship and love it. But I believe I am wired this way and have craved it since before I was a sexual being. I believe that there are some people who are willing and okay to experiment with it, but unless it is something that resonates within you, will not have any import or meaning. It is more than just inflicting or receiving pain; it is a deeply psychological bond between the D/s or M/s. some guy on okc keeps asking me this... it's been 3 messages in a month, all ignored Tell the person to go to Collarme.com or Fetlife.com if that is what they want and to leave you alone. There is a HUGE community of like-minded individuals into that particular fetish and there is no reason for those of us who are into it to bothers those who are not. The guy is a douche for bringing it up and you CAN block him, ya know.
Author gotye Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 Did you now???? How fascinating!?!?! That would be me.... I am in a BDSM relationship and love it. But I believe I am wired this way and have craved it since before I was a sexual being. I believe that there are some people who are willing and okay to experiment with it, but unless it is something that resonates within you, will not have any import or meaning. It is more than just inflicting or receiving pain; it is a deeply psychological bond between the D/s or M/s. Tell the person to go to Collarme.com or Fetlife.com if that is what they want and to leave you alone. There is a HUGE community of like-minded individuals into that particular fetish and there is no reason for those of us who are into it to bothers those who are not. The guy is a douche for bringing it up and you CAN block him, ya know. thanks for advice! i'll recommend it
prune juice Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 some guy on okc keeps asking me this... it's been 3 messages in a month, all ignored he/she/it (i didn't bother clicking on his profile) doesn't even have a profile picture, I certaintly hope it's a troll and not some creepy guy who will get some desperate girl into his grasps. I personally never would be in a bdsm based relationship... even if the dude looked like benedict cumberbatch... ok maybe if he did... but only maybe plain old vanilla sex is much better
CarrieT Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 plain old vanilla sex is much better For some, maybe... For others - nah..... :p:p
Author gotye Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 the guy on okcupid was grateful of the recommendations! wow
Soxfaninfl Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Why would you want to be someone's slave or be dominated?
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