prune juice Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 It really depends on the man in question. I hate to use terms like "alpha" and "beta" but I can't think of anything more appropriate in this instance. A beta male who seeks both, a girlfriend and mother figure in the same female would likely respond well to a woman "putting her foor down". On the other hand, a man who is more independent and closer to the alpha end of the spectrum expects his woman to be submissive and would not take kindly to such antics. different strokes for different folks
gaius Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 ignoring each other isn't respect for anything, sounds like you have no respect for a caring relationship! if a guy doesn't call me, ya, i won't apologize for maybe missing it... but I won't ignore him for a few days for it i would COMMUNICATE with him how that is NOT OKAY Either way works. Every woman has her own style.
bac Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 (edited) This post is another example of the fact that men and women have totally different thinking patterns. If I asked a girl out and she agreed to meet me the same day, it would lead me to conclude that a) she is interested in meeting me and b) that's she open to spontaneous ideas. Both of the above are good things. Kissing on the first date - indicates that we have a great connection. If I tried to kiss her and she refused, it would make things very awkward and I likely would not ask her out on another date. Having sex on the 1/2/3rd date - not a big deal to me. It's a myth that men write women off as "sluts" for having sex too early. I was talking about my personal experience which is all about online dating. I assume that it is OK to be easy with a man in 20s if you are dealing with a nice guy(=a guy who is looking for only a LTR) who you met at college or some quality place. My experiences are all about players and difficult men, 30-50 y.o who are looking for women online. How can I know on the first dates that a guy from online is a nice guy who is looking for a LTR? If I am going to be easy, I will be mostly used for sex by players and personality disorders. How do you think I might feel after the experience #20 or more? Probably, very depressed and hopeless about relationships and life in general. Edited April 5, 2012 by bac
Necris Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I personally haven't met any desperate women, if one day a woman starts coming on to me super strong I'll take that as a sign that she likes me not "oh no desperate girl do not want, or oh yes desperate girl lets see what I can get away with." Speaking of desperate this made me laugh [image - 126264] | Jam It In! / You Lost Me | Know Your Meme
brokenTom Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 This one girl who kept asking me out and getting turned down by me one day was talking to me, then signaled to me like she was going to whisper something in my ear. Next thing I know she pinned me down and attempts to french kiss me. I pull away and say no, but then she goes at it again, slobbering all over me. I pull away again and we hug for a while, she's crying hard, I tell her it just wasn't expected and I'm sorry, etc... she eventually tells me it was because she missed her boyfriend who was away in the army. She never attempted to ask me out again. I didn't feel her attempt was horribly desperate; I certainly didn't hold it against her or criticize her negatively. We all have weaknesses and sometimes crack against our better judgment. OK, maybe it was a little desperate... It's when you constantly cross that line even after being made aware of it by others, when it's within the person's control to change their behavior but they don't, that's when I find someone's actions truly desperate. And I think it's important to separate their actions from the person themselves. A few desperate events in our lives doesn't make you a desperate person.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 It really depends on the man in question. I hate to use terms like "alpha" and "beta" but I can't think of anything more appropriate in this instance. A beta male who seeks both, a girlfriend and mother figure in the same female would likely respond well to a woman "putting her foor down". On the other hand, a man who is more independent and closer to the alpha end of the spectrum expects his woman to be submissive and would not take kindly to such antics. I had a date last week with a guy who can only be described as alpha. Total confidence, bouncer at a club, nothing gets this guy down. And after the date (and sex), we started talking about future possibilities. He says he wants a relationship, but will work with whatever I want to do. I don't really see anything long-term with him (we're too different), though it's tempting. But the point is that in the more serious discussions we've had, I've stood up for myself and what I want, and even got heated with him a bit. He clearly LOVED that I was respecting myself and not taking any guff. He came right out and told me it was a huge turn-on, and a nice change from the usual - women being putty in his hands and doing whatever he wants. I think everybody respects other people who respect themselves and don't take any crap. 2
mesmerized Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I had a date last week with a guy who can only be described as alpha. Total confidence, bouncer at a club, nothing gets this guy down. And after the date (and sex), we started talking about future possibilities. He says he wants a relationship, but will work with whatever I want to do. I don't really see anything long-term with him (we're too different), though it's tempting. But the point is that in the more serious discussions we've had, I've stood up for myself and what I want, and even got heated with him a bit. He clearly LOVED that I was respecting myself and not taking any guff. He came right out and told me it was a huge turn-on, and a nice change from the usual - women being putty in his hands and doing whatever he wants. I think everybody respects other people who respect themselves and don't take any crap. Very true. Men love a challenging woman. A "true" alpha man would like it more than a beta man. But unfortunately a lot of men who claim to be alpha are actually little insecure bitches. A real alpha man is very secure with himself and wants a woman who is also very confident and secure. 1
InJest Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I need a girl that can keep me in line. Not on a leash(never gonna happen), but has the ability to smack some sense into me when I need it...and I need it. I think it builds trust. I know this person will tell me the truth and won't hold back. I have a strong, bold personality, and I need someone that can match that. If a girl can't do that, then I just own her and it's usually short lived. 2
Ruby Slippers Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Very true. Men love a challenging woman. A "true" alpha man would like it more than a beta man. But unfortunately a lot of men who claim to be alpha are actually little insecure bitches. A real alpha man is very secure with himself and wants a woman who is also very confident and secure. That's one of the reasons I like him so much. He is SO confident in himself, no matter what. Not arrogant - just completely self-assured and relaxed about who he is. Confidence is something I struggle with, but I'm getting better at it fast. If I can keep it up, I can see that it's going to transform my life. When we were out, everybody was just staring at us everywhere we went. It felt like we were walking around on clouds. I later complimented him on his swagger, and he said, "Hey, you're good at that, too. Your swagger sure got me." But the thing is that he totally brought it out of me. I couldn't go out with him and be all shy and mousy. I had to bring it. And bring it I did. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I need a girl that can keep me in line. Not on a leash(never gonna happen), but has the ability to smack some sense into me when I need it...and I need it. I think it builds trust. I know this person will tell me the truth and won't hold back. I have a strong, bold personality, and I need someone that can match that. If a girl can't do that, then I just own her and it's usually short lived. The day we had our first serious discussion, I called him out on a few things, challenged him a bit, basically pointed out that he's got what he needs to do just about anything in life, but isn't asking that much of himself right now (imo). The next day, he told me he couldn't sleep all night, thinking about what I said. So, whether this goes any further or was just a fun fling, I don't think he'll forget me.
brokenTom Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 But the thing is that he totally brought it out of me.Yeah, confidence, and lack of confidence, can be pretty infectious like that. I also had little evidence of self confidence until I met someone who brought it out of me. It's probably always there to begin with, just takes a little reassurance from someone else to let it do it's thing. 2
Recommended Posts