kaylan Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 I dont wanna deal with either...No thanks. Im virus free and am staying that way. And the reason for the stigma is people dont want stuff on their junk.
nick d Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 Kinda off the topic, but I highly recommend going to your doctor and getting a prescription for "Valtrex". It works wonders and after only 2 pills your sores will be 75% better and almost gone!
Author spookie Posted April 4, 2012 Author Posted April 4, 2012 I dont wanna deal with either...No thanks. Im virus free and am staying that way. And the reason for the stigma is people dont want stuff on their junk. So how do u know your date doesn't have it? If the majority is infected, most arent aware, and u can get it from making out, do u demand a test for both before u kiss? 1
veggirl Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I've never had a cold sore, but I remember my mom getting them when I was a kid and she occasionally still does, so I'm sure I have it in me. I'm glad I've never had one...I've never dated a guy with a cold sore outbreak either, but surely dated guys who COULD get them I assume. TBH LS has been an eye opener for me with genital herpes, I think before the frequent threads here (that have been very informative...a shame when they turn into big fights) I would have said HELLLLL NOOOOOO and ran if someone I was dating told me they have genital herpes. Now I'd discuss it, probably do some re-research and go from there. It would not be a dealbreaker! I suppose it'd partly depend on how often they get the outbreaks? I just know that it would not be an automatic "sorry dude" anymore.
kaylan Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 tests say I'm clean too. Still you can't just rely on tests and condoms. I rely on people also being truthful and responsible. Its stupid to assume test results are wrong and that condoms wont work, so lthen we shouldnt protect ourselves from viruses because of that. Come on now. So how do u know your date doesn't have it? If the majority is infected, most arent aware, and u can get it from making out, do u demand a test for both before u kiss? Faulty reasoning...so just because I COULD have it I shouldnt keep myself away from the virus? Riiiight. I expect people with infections to let me know about these things, and I usually make it known through our convos how I feel about viruses and junk...that way the girl gets the hint that she should tell me beforehand. I get sick of the reasoning that just because someone might have a disease they shouldnt protect themselves from it. Im clean and I plan to stay that way. Not everyone is going to want to date everyone else, for a variety of reasons. I think health reasons should be something people are understanding about. Why should I be ok with contracting something just because someone else doesnt want to be turned down because of it?
Cypress25 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I dont wanna deal with either...No thanks. Im virus free and am staying that way. Good luck, lol. Most people with oral herpes acquired it before they ever engaged in any kind of sexual activity. You can get it by sharing food, drinks, or chapstick with someone who has it. Ever taken a hit from a joint that's been passed around a room? You're probably not as careful as you think.
kaylan Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 (edited) And this majority everyone keeps talking about having cold sores...the actual statistical figures have different ranges depending on the study. Its not actually pinned down exactly. So lets stop with the "well most people have it, so you shouldnt care about catching a virus" frame of thinking. Good luck, lol. Most people with oral herpes acquired it before they ever engaged in any kind of sexual activity. You can get it by sharing food, drinks, or chapstick with someone who has it. Ever taken a hit from a joint that's been passed around a room? You're probably not as careful as you think. Well in 25 years I havent had it. So I dont need luck. Im doing just fine. But thanks anyways. Just because theres a risk of exposure to something, doesnt mean I should voluntarily expose myself to it. So please, come up with a better argument. Guess what? Example time...Asians make up 5% of the American population. Most people here arent Asian....are you going to tell them to date outside their race because most people here arent Asian? Even if they tell you dating another Asian is important to them? See how silly that sounds. Theres enough people without viruses where I wont have trouble dating. Edited April 5, 2012 by kaylan
xxoo Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I expect people with infections to let me know about these things, and I usually make it known through our convos how I feel about viruses and junk...that way the girl gets the hint that she should tell me beforehand. So you've never, say, kissed a girl you just met that night at a party, or at a club, spontaneously? You have the virus talk before the first kiss?
kaylan Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 (edited) So you've never, say, kissed a girl you just met that night at a party, or at a club, spontaneously? You have the virus talk before the first kiss? Obviously I dont do this with every girl I meet...but that doesnt mean the reasoning given to me is not faulty. Just because I could catch something, does not mean I should willfully do so. I am clean and intend to stay that way. I wish someone would argue why that reasoning is anything but faulty. Back to my Asian dating comparison. Im sure many people have had hook ups outside of their race while fully intending to settle down with someone within their race and culture. Should they be told not to do so? Edited April 5, 2012 by kaylan
Author spookie Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 Kaylan, your logic = I will not date anyone who definitely has it, to protect myself from a disease I might not have.
kaylan Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 ^Correction. To protect myself from a disease I do not have. I have been tested recently and have not had a hook up since my last test for EVERYTHING. Urine tests, swab tests, blood tests, the whole 9. Aside from lower back pain, Im a perfectly healthy young male. In 25 years I have been clean from herpes...why should I voluntarily catch it just because I might contract it unknowingly one day. I guess people should just go about not caring about STDs in general since they are prevalent in young adults. Let be real here. You may not like that I will avoid people like you, but thats what you have to deal with. People dont date other people for a variety of reasons. Thats their prerogative and doesnt make them wrong. Its their life and their bodies.
Cypress25 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Just because theres a risk of exposure to something, doesnt mean I should voluntarily expose myself to it. I just think it's funny that you refuse to date women who have oral herpes, but you probably engage in a million other activities that put you at risk for catching the same virus. If you're not worried about cold sores when you share food, drinks, silverware, cigarettes, or chapstick with other people, then why are you worried about them when you're kissing a woman? Oral herpes is most contagious during an outbreak. When there is no outbreak, the risk of transmitting the virus is very low. I've kissed quite a few men in my lifetime, and do you know how many of them caught oral herpes from me? None, because we didn't kiss when I had a cold sore. And we certainly didn't share food or drinks. My point is, you've probably kissed women who had oral herpes without realizing it. And you're fine. Just because your partner has it doesn't mean you have to catch it from them. Most people don't get oral herpes from sexual activity. They get it by doing things that you do all the time without even thinking about it. If you're really serious about staying virus-free, you're going to have to be a lot more careful from now on.
Author spookie Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 FYI u don't need to have had an outbreak, to already be infected. What everyone is trying to say, is that statistically speaking, you probably DO have it already.
Author spookie Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 A regular std test does not include herpes2, and certainly not herpes1. Are u aware of all the other diseases and viruses flying around? If so what are u doing to protect yourself from them?
xxoo Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Obviously I dont do this with every girl I meet...but that doesnt mean the reasoning given to me is not faulty. Just because I could catch something, does not mean I should willfully do so. I am clean and intend to stay that way. I wish someone would argue why that reasoning is anything but faulty. Back to my Asian dating comparison. Im sure many people have had hook ups outside of their race while fully intending to settle down with someone within their race and culture. Should they be told not to do so? Kay, because the virus is so common, it seems likely that you've already been exposed. If you've kissed more than 5 girls, you've almost certainly kissed a girl who could have passed HSV1 to you.
Soxfaninfl Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Kaylan, just wrap yourself in latex, and you will be fine. 1
kaylan Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 (edited) Do whine more about it people. I have a right to date or not date whoever I want. Its my health. I dont have herpes. I dont want herpes. Get over it.FYI u don't need to have had an outbreak, to already be infected. What everyone is trying to say, is that statistically speaking, you probably DO have it already. Every test Ive had says otherwise. Again, just because one could catch something, does NOT mean one should willingly put themselves at greater risk to catch it.A regular std test does not include herpes2, and certainly not herpes1. Are u aware of all the other diseases and viruses flying around? If so what are u doing to protect yourself from them? I love how you skipped over the part in my earlier post where I said Ive had the whole battery of tests done for everything. That means Ive had a variety of different tests so Id be cleared for everything. Do read more carefully next time. Im clean honey, and I plan to stay that way. So yes Im aware of the viruses of the world, and I take precautions not to catch them...especially STDs...which is why Ive reserved sex for women I trust and know are clean. Edited April 5, 2012 by kaylan
kaylan Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I just think it's funny that you refuse to date women who have oral herpes, but you probably engage in a million other activities that put you at risk for catching the same virus. If you're not worried about cold sores when you share food, drinks, silverware, cigarettes, or chapstick with other people, then why are you worried about them when you're kissing a woman?Why should I knowingly put myself at greater risk for catching someone just because a smaller risk exists elsewhere? That makes no sense. I dont share food and drinks with people. I dont smoke or use chapstick either. And I definitely wouldnt use someone elses chapstick. I dont know where their mouth has been. So stop trying to play guessing games about how you think I behave. Oral herpes is most contagious during an outbreak. When there is no outbreak, the risk of transmitting the virus is very low. I've kissed quite a few men in my lifetime, and do you know how many of them caught oral herpes from me? None, because we didn't kiss when I had a cold sore. And we certainly didn't share food or drinks.I feel you...and its possible Ive kissed someone who had it but didnt have an outbreak...but that doesnt mean I should just be ok with oral herpes once I find out someone has it. Its everyone's choice whether theyd be ok with it or not. Hell StarGazer wont let her friend use her chapstick, and Im sure the person doesnt have outbreaks all the dang time. I dont see the big deal here. My point is, you've probably kissed women who had oral herpes without realizing it. And you're fine. Just because your partner has it doesn't mean you have to catch it from them. Most people don't get oral herpes from sexual activity. They get it by doing things that you do all the time without even thinking about it. If you're really serious about staying virus-free, you're going to have to be a lot more careful from now on.But why should I risk it just because of your reasoning? This is no different from the people who say "its ok to have sex with someone with genital herpes as long as theirs no outbreak"....come on now If someone doesnt want to knowingly be exposed to something...thats their right...its their health. Im going to take all the reasonable precautions I can to remain virus free...whats wrong with this? Again...back to my interracial dating analogy. Are we going to shame someone into dating outside their race just because their race happens to be a minority of the population? If I told you I only wanted to date black women because they understand my experiences as a black man, would you dismiss me because our race only makes up 13% of the population? Its not like 100 people live in the United States. Theres plenty of people here, so even with preferences that shrink someones dating pool, theres more than enough people to date. So whats the problem? The girls I wont date for whatever reason will still have plenty of dudes willing to date them. Its no biggie really.
mostlyclueless Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Kaylan, unless you are having an active outbreak of herpes, blood tests will often return a false negative. That means the test will come up negative, even though you are carrying the virus. It is improbable that you will receive an accurate test result if you are not having an active outbreak.
xxoo Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Im clean honey, and I plan to stay that way. So yes Im aware of the viruses of the world, and I take precautions not to catch them...especially STDs...which is why Ive reserved sex for women I trust and know are clean. If you feel this strongly, you should have reserved kissing for women you trust and know are clean. It is an odd position to take--feeling that strongly, but still risking exposure to a virus that the majority of people carry around their mouth. 2
Cypress25 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I dont have herpes. I dont want herpes. Then you're going to have to make some major changes in your life to ensure you don't catch it. Because you've been pretty careless in the past. From now on, you'll have to demand a full STD panel from every woman you want to kiss. And you'll have to make sure you never share food or drinks with anyone, or at least make sure they've been screened for STDs before you do. For someone as afraid of oral herpes as you are, you've been incredibly irresponsible about your health. Kissing women without making sure they're clean! Sharing food, drinks, and God knows what else with people who may or may not have a virus! You need to get your act together if you really want to stay clean. The way you've been living, it doesn't seem like you really care about preserving your health. You engage in risky behavior all the time. But now that you know, you'll put an immediate stop to it, right? In fact, you should probably wear a dental dam every time you kiss a woman. You just never know what kind of horrible disease she might have.
123321 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I don't recall ever having a cold sore but maybe I'm infected and non-symptomatic, no idea. Not worried about it too much.
kaylan Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 (edited) If you feel this strongly, you should have reserved kissing for women you trust and know are clean. It is an odd position to take--feeling that strongly, but still risking exposure to a virus that the majority of people carry around their mouth. You know whats even odder? The people who say I shouldnt have a problem dating someone who affirmatively has oral or genital herpes. These threads are always the same. Just because the majority have something, or are something, does mean I have to date them. What part of my previous post did you not understand? Please someone explain to me the logic behind dating someone you know who has herpes just because "youd be exposed to it anyways". Come on now...you dont HAVE to be exposed to it. When I knowingly have the choice to avoid herpes, I will.Then you're going to have to make some major changes in your life to ensure you don't catch it. Because you've been pretty careless in the past. From now on, you'll have to demand a full STD panel from every woman you want to kiss. And you'll have to make sure you never share food or drinks with anyone, or at least make sure they've been screened for STDs before you do. For someone as afraid of oral herpes as you are, you've been incredibly irresponsible about your health. Kissing women without making sure they're clean! Sharing food, drinks, and God knows what else with people who may or may not have a virus! You need to get your act together if you really want to stay clean. The way you've been living, it doesn't seem like you really care about preserving your health. You engage in risky behavior all the time. But now that you know, you'll put an immediate stop to it, right? In fact, you should probably wear a dental dam every time you kiss a woman. You just never know what kind of horrible disease she might have. Im not afraid of oral herpes. I just dont want it, and I dont see why some of you seem to want to force upon me your belief that its no big deal. If someone has herpes and I know about it, Im not kissing them. End of discussion.Kaylan, unless you are having an active outbreak of herpes, blood tests will often return a false negative. That means the test will come up negative, even though you are carrying the virus. It is improbable that you will receive an accurate test result if you are not having an active outbreak. Btw, you do know virus cannot exist outside a host for very long right? Either way, I never share my food or drinks with people...so that whole part fell of deaf ears Um no....antibodies are still present in the body. Learn your stuff...this can be test for. And even if what you said were true...explain to me the logic behind exposing yourself to a virus just because you MIGHT have it. Thats stupid reasoning, especially if a person may be in fact perfectly clean and healthy. Edited April 5, 2012 by kaylan
xxoo Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 What part of my previous post did you not understand? The part I quoted. The part where you say you plan to stay HSV negative, because you don't actually take the precautions necessary to do so. If someone has herpes and I know about it, Im not kissing them. End of discussion. That's fine. 1
kaylan Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Btw....on the whole sharing meals and drinks thing. You people need to get your facts straight. Viruses cant exist long at all without a host. Can herpes be spread through sharing food and drinks? | Ask The Experts The part I quoted. The part where you say you plan to stay HSV negative, because you don't actually take the precautions necessary to do so. That's fine. Actually I do take the precautions and I just debunked half of you guys argument on the whole food, drink, and chapstick trip.
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