Lizz k Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 Hi everyone, I was with the love of my life for the last 9 years. We have kids from our previous marriages and we have a good life. We had our issues but somehow we can overcome it. Last year I made the biggest mistake our my life. We live together for the last 5 years and we were happy most of the time. The casino opened in where I'm living. We both love to gamble but it was controllable. We normally travel to other countries to gamble like once a month. I got addicted real bad when the casino open in my hometown last year. I went there without his knowledge and became a compulsive gambler. Serious betting 500-1k a hand on black jack. I was so consumed with gambling that I started to steal his ATM card and do a withdrawal without him knowing till I couldn't cover my losses and he found out about it. He forgave me but I didn't stopped gambling and bust 70k on his supplementary card. That was his last straw. He kick me out from our room and start staying in separate room for 5 months. We finally moved out in sep last year and he told me to clean up my act which I didn't. When he left me my gsmbling got so bad that I started borrowing from loans shark and he came to know about it. My debts got to 500k in 7 months. I'm earning a 5 figure salary and I become so broke and depressed. My bf saw me in the casino 3 times after I promise him I won't go. I decided to file for bankruptcy and start clean for my kids sake. I quit gambling for good 3 months ago and with the help of my doctor and my kids I quit and hate gambling so much for ruining everything. I told my bf to give me a chance to mend my ways but he doesn't want to deal or talk to me at any level. He despise and hate me so much that he doesn't want to see me anymore. During my darkest moments he never ask how I am. Now that I'm clean and repented , he still doesn't want to give me a chance. He only want his money back and I told him I pay him 2k a month. My bf has always been generous with money and it's not the money so much that upsets him I think. Now that my head is clear, I started to mourn my losses for him. I cannot get over the facts that he will never forgive me and take me back. I've been a good gd for the last 8 years apart from what I did last year. He cheated on me with a one night stand and I forgave him. Why can't he forgive me too? Our relationship was passionate and we really get along well. I really love him and I know he's hurting very much because he blamed me for ruining everything. How do I get his heart to open again? He won't respond to any of my text email etc. i know hes the one for me and I've swear that I will never gamble or steal his money again! This is my first time stealing from him because of my gambling. I still hold a good Job and my debts are in control because of my bankruptcy. Can someone pls tell me what should I do. I just want him back and we were supposed to get marry this year on our 10th anniversary. I'm truly heartbroken.
Me...IamMe Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 The old saying, the key to a mans heart is through his mouth. My saying is a key to losing a mans heart is steal his wallet. He would have to see a real different person. First off don't say anything to him, just pay him back. After he has been repaid, it still may take a long time for him to trust you. But without the repayment of stolen goods, there never will be any trust at all. Period. Gambling addictions are evil, I was there. But I know you can be set free, I was. I hope it works out for you, if not use it as alearning experiance to never gamble again.
liverpool fc Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 I am very sorry to hear about this It is really good to hear you have gotten over gambling and came clean, congratulations on that It is understandable that he doesnt want to talk to you again after all of that, i know you have forgiven him for his one night stand but sometimes some things are just too hard for people to open there arms up again freely after the past You have to ask yourself this - have you done EVERYTHING possible to show him you have changed and things are/will be different from reading all of this i would say yes you have, its up to him now you have done all you could (from reading this) I really hope everything gets better real quick
Chi townD Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 Ummm...girl? You ran up 70k on him. You took his ATM and literally stole from him. He was still there. You promised to stay out of the Casino's and he caught you there 3 times! Okay, so you've been straight for three month. Congrats on that achievement. But, That is not enough time to say that you are fully recovered. I don't know if you'll get him back. Stuff like this does a lot of damage. You can tell him your straight until the cows come home, he's not going to believe you right now. So, actions speak louder than words at this moment. If you say you're going to repay him 2k per month, then you stick with it. Pay him the 2k a month. That shows him you have the money to do this because you're NOT in the casino's blowing it. The closer you get to repaying him, the more he might open up to you.
Author Lizz k Posted April 4, 2012 Author Posted April 4, 2012 Yes gambling is so evil. I forgot who I was. I also agree of actions than words. Paying him back without him asking but I'm so afraid he will move on. He lost half his weight when I last saw him 2 months ago to pass his car keys. He didn't look into my eyes and it was so brief and he just walked away. I've pleaded with him to come back still he's stone cold as ice. I didn't pursue him when he left in sep because I was still caught up with gsmbling. It was only when I solve my **** 3 months ago tat I become obsessed wanting him back in my life. How can a man be so cold and even my kids text he stopped responding to them. My kids misses him too. I don't want to give up but how long should I wait?
Author Lizz k Posted April 4, 2012 Author Posted April 4, 2012 Yes I banned myself for life! Got family exclusion so I can never unban myself
Chi townD Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 Well, you have to admit, you gambled away more than a years salary for most people. You left him in a VERY hard position. You made his life very difficult. You really what to hurt a guy? You do one of two things. Telling him he's horrible in the sack and his thing is too small, and the other is hitting him in the wallet. You did one of these two. Just start making monthly payments to him. Once the money starts coming back, he might be open for some dialog. But, not until a nice chunk has been returned to him.
Author Lizz k Posted April 4, 2012 Author Posted April 4, 2012 Thank you chi..I appreciate your advice. Yes it will take year or 2 to repay back. I feel very alone and I don't want to go out there meeting new people. I just want him back:(
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