Kits Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 This is all new for me and I feel like I have no idea what I am doing! I am close to 30 years old (female) and have been in a solid relationship with a wonderful man for 8 years. We split up a few weeks ago because our relationship has stopped moving forward. We were living together, happy, but marriage was not an option for him. The break up hurt like heck (still does, I dont think that goes away fast) but each day is getting a little easier and I am starting to look into the future. Against my wildest expectations, I have met someone. I did not expect to meet anyone or to like anyone so soon and it has taken me by surprise! "Met" is the wrong word because we have sort of known each other for a while and we have a couple good mutual friends. Anyway we have been hanging out socially and chatting a bit more in the past couple weeks and I find myself quite liking him. The problem is that its been so long since I was last single that I have no idea how to go about this whole dating thing! Our mutual friends have indicated that there is definitely possibility there. But he is a little shy and has not yet initiated anything...and I really want him to!!! But I dont want to force anything or be pushy about it. my friends have advised me to keep chatting to him...thats easy enough I can do that. And also to casually invite him along when we do social things. Its hard though to fit in social activities to which he can be invited around a busy work schedule though! I worry that he thinks its too soon (since my breakup) for him to try anything. Its all so confusing... it seemed so much simpler when I was younger! Any advice?
Philosoraptor Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 The question is do you think it's too soon? Are you truly over your ex? If he came back and said he changed his mind on marriage would you welcome him back with open arms? If so, then a new relationship now will very likely only end up in hurt for both the new man and yourself.
TaraMaiden Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 could i ask... ...What's your hurry? After such a long relationship, there is much to be said for taking things easy, letting things flow, and develop gently. if in a month, he still doesn't seem any closer - under his own steam - to taking it "to the next level" (whatever that is!) then maybe coax it along. but really - where's the fire?
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