Michaeltuesday Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 Hi, this maybe long winded but I thought I'd better put all the detail. I had been with my girlfriend for 7 years. For the first year we'd spent apart whilst at Uni but stayed together. After Uni we moved back home to our parents who live in the same village. A year after that she moved into my parents with me and all was okay. The following year we moved abroad for a year and had some amazing times. On returning to the UK we went back to my parents for a year. Then our first mountain came. A girl text me and I replied innocently but it really upset her and brought up all the problems in our relationship with me being selfish, unaffectionate and miserable. I told her and truly meant that I want to be with her and I'd change. We gave it another go and immediately moved into our first house together and all was bliss. Then a few months later a friend split with his wife and we offered him a home. He stated for months and all was okay but it took it's toll. After he moved out we had another few months of bliss but then hit a financial wall. A different friend moved in after a split with his long term girlfriend. This took a heavier toll and we really weren't any better financially off. So we decided that we'd move into his house for a few months to save some money. Then we hit rock bottom as I turned into the person I was two years ago... Miserable, unaffectionate and unmotivated. She then 3 weeks ago said she needed space. I gave her a letter explaining how I felt and what I wanted from us and left her to get space. A week later we split. Get choice but I accepted it and said it's not what I want and that id work on my changes. The worst was due to transport issues with work she couldnt move out of my friends so I did. There is 100% nothing going on with him or anyone else. Anyway, a week later she text me asking whether I'd changed our Facebook status as it wasn't showing. I hadn't, and she said it was nothing and then made a few polite conversations and left it at that. The next day I helped her some work of hers to show selflessness, and did so without seeing her. She thanked me. Then two days ago she text me to meet and I agreed. It was obvious that in the meeting her mind hadnt changed but she said and showed signs of promise. She said she still loves me, that we should take the break slow and that she'd been down alot about all aspects of her life. Then yesterday, I left her some nice pick me up presents to just be nice with a short note saying I cared and that I wanted to show it. She then text me saying she's in a better place now, she's not sad and that I should concentrate on myself. Ouch. The next morning she apologised for the text and that she didn't want to keep upsetting me and that she was worried we were in different places. That's it. I really would like opinions on what you think she's thinking, what needs to happen next, what I reply in the text and whether it is over and just some advice. Again, thought id put as much detail as possible.
MeiGuan Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 Sounds like your relationship is a real rollercoaster. This is not good. It sounds like you are still in your 20´s. Which means, you have all your life ahead of you. I believe almost all people on earth have gone through a relationship like yours and you know what? People evolve, usually for the better, but many times separate from eachother. I assume you two are not legally married, right? You know what? I know that probably right now you two don´t see eachother with anyone else, but you two will find out later that it is possible to move on and benefit from it. A happy life and a true love is seeking for you out there, trust me.
Author Michaeltuesday Posted April 4, 2012 Author Posted April 4, 2012 Not married no, both in late 20's. I appreciate your feedback. It's just hard for me to move on, instead I'm carrying on. I'm worried if I move on it's gone forever and there's no turning back. We love each other dearly and I'm confused by her recent behaviour after the break up.
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