mason 25 Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 I met some girl about 4 weeks ago during the 1st week we were having sex but nothing was made official until now it remains the same because i can't come to accept that she cares for her ex boyfriend .while we where messing around she had slept with her ex during the the beggining of us having sex but we are not official so i guess i have to accept that but we both want to make official now but i will not have her be friends with her ex. she claims she has no feelings for him but yet she care about him he just got out of jail he is a gang member a lowlife. he cheated on her and she told me and that was her first love they were together 4 months back before we met. Ever since HE broke up with her she decided to whore around with guys like she says so now we meet i asked her to stop talking to her ex completly or shes wasting her time with me because i will not accept deep inside i feel she is not totally over him.she hangs up the phone and says let me think about it. she says she doesnt know why its so hard to cuutt him off completly.so i flip on her i say thats messed up you had to even think about it.so i tell her dont call me back until she is over him.he texts her and calls her that is her sex buddy and she still talks to a couple of her sex buddies they still text her she tells me she cant stop them from talking to her.but as of last week im the only one she sleeps with and she wants me she told me but i am not ready to be in a relationship where he can call her back and she goes running back to him.i made a statment to her to see what she says i said if you wanted to be with you he could have you any time you would get back with him if he wanted you and she didnt say anything she just stood quite and said if he wanted to but since he doesnt. what do you think about all this? did i handle the situation well?
darkmoon Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 yes, bit hard to work out the second to last sentence, anyway it's him or you, not because he's a criminal, but because he has no right to hang on to her if she is yours - what's his game?
Author mason 25 Posted April 4, 2012 Author Posted April 4, 2012 i feel if she keeps talking to him he can make her fall in love again.Her ex doesnt want to be with her just as a sex buddy..
darkmoon Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 him or you she must choose - if you are feeling bad about him and she doesn't give f*ck about how you feel - ask her or yourself what else will she not care about?
irin Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 shes not wasting time with you, you're wasting with her. what are doing trying to tie down someone who is sleeping around. i hope you use protection. as far the ex 4 months is not much of relationship she thinks shes had! 2
g450 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I feel for you buddy but you have not been with her very long. I would cut my loses and dump her. On the other spectrum I had this issue with my GF as well and it came down to this. It was either me or them. I had to make it a rock solid boundry. Luckily she chose me and she knows that the minute I see her talking to one of them I will be done with her. Happily we have been together now for two years and are getting married soon. Stick to your guns and what you believe. Old BFs haging around will only destroy a relationship. But if the girls needs that attention from other men then you will probably be better off without that drama. 2
PegNosePete Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 she had slept with her ex during the the beggining of us having sex but we are not official so i guess i have to accept that You don't have to accept anything you don't want. There is no law. If you don't like how she behaved then say goodbye. You cannot control who she is or is not friends with. In fact you cannot control other people at all. You can only choose to accept their choices or to move on. 1
g450 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 You don't have to accept anything you don't want. There is no law. If you don't like how she behaved then say goodbye. You cannot control who she is or is not friends with. In fact you cannot control other people at all. You can only choose to accept their choices or to move on. Exactly right. But he needs to let her know what his boundries are so she can decided whether he is worth losing. That's not controling another person, it's called communicating with them. Put the ball in her court before you pull the plug. 1
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