Back off, THIS IS MY ZONE!

[Juicer]

We've been broken up for 7 months or so and I have been trying to move and have been doing so steadily.. I've been going out with other girls, making new friends, even started a new relationship (short one; unfortunately I was not into it completely and had to end it). Since the break up, we have spoken and seen each other briefly and it was all very nice and friendly, we even went to have coffee a few times just to catch up (after all we still do love each other as people)

 

The thing that has been REALLY helping me deal with stress and the break up was going to the gym. I consider the gym my zone, time for me myself and I.. I put on my music, make new friends, and work hard to better myself.

 

We had joined the gym together over a year ago (during our relationship), but after she broke up with me she decided to switch gyms.. it couldnt' have worked out better! That was until yesterday…

 

Im cycling, doing my thing , head down, sweating up a storm when my friend next to me taps me on the shoulder and we spot her walking into the gym.. I immediately got off the bike and walk away to where she can't see me.. I'm furious. There was a class we used to do together that was going on and she went into the class.. fortunately i didn't have to speak to her. I have friends who work at the gym and so i ask them to check her file and according to this, she has signed back up! GREAT….

 

What bothers me the most is that the gym is like my temple (i know it sounds ridiculous) but it has helped with my healing process, I'm able to let go and forget about any troubles or worries. it has been very good for me!

 

She has a gym that she has been going to that is closer, more accessible, cheaper, and full of her family, friends, and coworkers who she loves to hangout/workout with

 

I'm at the gym 4-5 times a week and we have a similar work/school schedule (we had made them to be like this when we were together) so i know i will be seeing her there often. As nice as it is to see her once in a while, catch up and make sure she and her family are doing well.. i don't want to be seeing her every time I'm at the gym!

 

Soooo my questions are:

1) What do i do? Should i bring up my concerns (i don't want her to think I'm still not over her, which I'm not 100% yet)

2) Why would she do this? Does she want to run into me (she knows i have been going a lot to this gym, and looking much better since her )

 

TL;DR Ex switched gym to the one i go to that is more expensive, further, and where she knows i go, ditching family friends and coworkers at the gym she used to be signed up for. WHY?

 

Thanks every one!

[CC12]

You can't really stop her from going there, so just put up with it. Since you're still on friendly terms, give her a wave when you see her, but don't engage in conversation. If she tries to initiate conversation say, "Hey, sorry, but I'm just here to work out. I'll talk to you later, ok?"

 

I don't know why she would join your gym, but whatever the reason is, it doesn't really matter so don't try to figure it out. Just go and do your thing.

[robkris8079]

It's still your's, own it. If you run into her say "hi" but don't engage in long conversations. I'm sure you know other people there just talk to them more. Use her presence as more motivation to work out harder. Better would be to not care she is there at all but this thread proves otherwise.

 

Who knows her motives but they are not your concern. If it's an issue for you change your schedule up. If it's not just walk in and do your thing. She can't take your temple from you unless you let her.

[flitzanu]

what i can say is, she didn't join the gym to be near you again.

 

any other reason is pretty irrelevant, so you should start ignoring her and don't let her get to you.

[marqueemoon4]

what i can say is, she didn't join the gym to be near you again.

.

 

how are you so sure about this?

[flitzanu]

how are you so sure about this?

 

because it wouldn't make any logical sense at all. at least not in terms of her "wanting to work things out" which is ultimately what we want...that "sign" that things are positive and our ex still wants us back.

 

i don't think this is a positive gesture, her joining your gym. i definitely think there's a motive, and you need to keep your guard up.

 

if i'm wrong, call me out on it, and i'll admit i'm wrong.

 

i've been in this situation.

 

a girl and i joined a gym, she slept with me a while, decided she was done, and made some immature acts to "end things".

 

but...we were both at the same gym, right? right.

 

so the girl also told me during her "breakup speech" that she wanted to date my best friend.

 

so she showed up at the gym with him a few days later as a "visitor".

 

yeah, i was livid. you really think it wasn't intentional? are dumpers that naive to think dumpees don't have feelings and won't mind them showing up in "our space"?

 

after pointing out how f'd up that is, she quit the gym and joined one with the new guy.

 

gym stories are awesome.

[EgoJoe]

My advice is to completely ignore her at the gym even as far as being rude. She wants a reaction.

 

Give her nothing.

[fucpcg]

If my ex signed back up at my gym, I'd leave. I can't have distractions when I'm trying to powerlift, and she is beyond a distraction, as I am still distraught over the breakup. I have no right to go tell her to leave, and would also most likely be there for a reason if it wasn't her logical place to go, what can you do.... I'd get out.

[Juicer]

I appreciate all your answers!

 

I definitely don't get the feeling that she is trying to make a move to try and get me back.. as most of you said, there are MUCH easier ways to do it lol.. and that's not really what i want even though I'm not 100% over her! I just find it as a lack of respect and as mentioned before, a HUGE distraction.

 

Also, we dated for 2 yrs and saw her as someone i could spend a veeery long time with, not just a girl i was sleeping with so she's not just acting out or anything..

 

I guess i will be keeping my guard up and just keep to the basic "Hi, how are you" and leave it at that, try and show her it doesn't bother me. it won't be easy...

[flitzanu]

I appreciate all your answers!

 

I definitely don't get the feeling that she is trying to make a move to try and get me back.. as most of you said, there are MUCH easier ways to do it lol.. and that's not really what i want even though I'm not 100% over her! I just find it as a lack of respect and as mentioned before, a HUGE distraction.

 

Also, we dated for 2 yrs and saw her as someone i could spend a veeery long time with, not just a girl i was sleeping with so she's not just acting out or anything..

 

I guess i will be keeping my guard up and just keep to the basic "Hi, how are you" and leave it at that, try and show her it doesn't bother me. it won't be easy...

 

don't speak to her if you don't want to. you're not "required" to do or say anything. i mean, your choice, but don't try to play the game like you're above it and going out of your way to say hi. if you run into her directly, smile or whatever, but don't feel obligated. if she thinks you're immature for not speaking, who cares.