Q for other guys only: how often do women approach you?

[Titania22]

Well I know I am female so this probably doesn't count, but let the records show that about 10mins ago I was in a Max Brennar picking up a chocolate lick, and I asked out the guy who came in for a latte. He said he had a girlfriend.

[Necris]

@carhill: To count an approach, I think it would have to fit a few criteria. One, it needs to be persistent. More than a hello. Two, it needs to lack any other earthly explanation. Waitresses being friendly don't count. Although, yes, that does mean we're ruling out occasional valid approaches. Three, it needs to exceed normal etiquette for the circumstance. The lady at a conference asking about your work doesn't count until she sticks around a half-hour.

 

Women actually do all of that? Now if a simple hello counted as an approach I could say I have been approached before but other than that no.

[fucpcg]

Do you really think asking girls to pull your finger is going to work for someone that isn't very muscular?

 

Anyone else have this come to mind? How to Pick up Chicks: Johnny Bravo Style. - YouTube

 

Yea again, fair enough. Maybe I get away with more because of working out, hard for me to say cause I've been powerlifting and bodybuilding since I was young teens. However as mentioned, half the time I do get dirty looks and bad responses to my stunts. I guess the whole moral of my story was just trying to say I think most guys can get attention if they just go out and have a really, really good time, and let the girls around them vibe off that. Pull my finger might be a bit much, but I don't use it every time. I'd say that is probably a line I would only use on a girl I saw laughing and joking around with her friends. Girls always say they love a guy with great sense of humor, but for me it definitely goes both ways. I was at a house party one night like years ago, where I knew most everyone, but there was this one girl who I still remember to this day. She had good style, was a bit "heftier", and she HILARIOUS. She was making jokes all night to the point my cheeks were hurting. Haven't seen her since, but never forgot her. I don't think I can recall any other girl I've met randomly once from that long ago, and it's not because of how hot she was.

Edited April 6, 2012 by fucpcg

[Oxy Moronovich]

Subtle approaches are meaningless to me, just like they are to many men. Smiling or twirling her hair doesn't mean anything. So I never worry whether or not a woman is trying to get my attention.

[insertnamehere]

Women actually do all of that? Now if a simple hello counted as an approach I could say I have been approached before but other than that no.

 

A hello that has no earthly explanation but approach, if it is followed on with some conversation, is countable.

 

Maybe I get away with more

 

This notion right here is the primary reason I started this thread. I always wonder just how much **** I happen to get away with.

 

By someone I am interested in? How about close to never.

 

One thing I will note here, is once a woman has spotted you being interested in her, the clock is rolling. Presumably, if you're interested in her, you've probably sent some signals, even if just unconscious signal, of your interest.

 

Also, in my experience, women only approach directly under three circumstances.

 

Number one, and the most common reason, is that you just flat-out didn't notice her. Last Saturday I had a girl who was 4'10" approach me very directly by cutting in front of while I was waiting at the bar to be served. That was quite literally the first time I had seen her all night, because . . . ya know . . . she was 4'10" and kinda getting lost in the wash of the crowd.

 

Number two, and the least common reason, is that she just flat-out finds you attractive enough to be worth the risk.

 

Number three, is that she's trying to fudge the game. It's getting late, she's (border/horny/lonely/whatever) and she just doesn't much give a ****.

 

Or there's the hybrid of options two and three, where she's a bit below your league and she's directly approaching as almost a chess gambit.

 

In general, women don't directly approach if they sense there's a chance you will approach them first. My experience is that women gladly defer risk to men in dating unless they feel there's something big to be gained or they feel that their efforts just aren't getting the signal across at all.

[Oxy Moronovich]

One thing I will note here, is once a woman has spotted you being interested in her, the clock is rolling. Presumably, if you're interested in her, you've probably sent some signals, even if just unconscious signal, of your interest.

 

Also, in my experience, women only approach directly under three circumstances.

 

Number one, and the most common reason, is that you just flat-out didn't notice her. Last Saturday I had a girl who was 4'10" approach me very directly by cutting in front of while I was waiting at the bar to be served. That was quite literally the first time I had seen her all night, because . . . ya know . . . she was 4'10" and kinda getting lost in the wash of the crowd.

 

Number two, and the least common reason, is that she just flat-out finds you attractive enough to be worth the risk.

 

Number three, is that she's trying to fudge the game. It's getting late, she's (border/horny/lonely/whatever) and she just doesn't much give a ****.

 

Or there's the hybrid of options two and three, where she's a bit below your league and she's directly approaching as almost a chess gambit.

 

In general, women don't directly approach if they sense there's a chance you will approach them first. My experience is that women gladly defer risk to men in dating unless they feel there's something big to be gained or they feel that their efforts just aren't getting the signal across at all.

For me, the boldest times when a woman has approached me is when she sees me with another attractive woman. Many guys have had the same experience: a woman shows blatant interest when they see you with another woman. But you know damn well if you were alone you'd be wallpaper to them. Therefore, they think you're desirable to other women and worth stealing.

 

A few nights ago, in a club, a woman was following me and my gf in the club. She was dancing next to me, grinding against me, and purposely bumping into me and pretending it was an accident. I just ignored her and enjoyed time with my chick.

[fucpcg]

I have a buddy that is attractive, but not overly so, he is not built at all but eats right and plays sports so in shape, and he does have a good sense of humor and is always fun to be around. I don't think that you would look at him and think here's a guy who can date a ton of women, but he does really well. After being really down and out after a breakup, he somehow found the book The Game. It was written by some NYTimes author I believe, and he based the book on following pickup artists in NYC for a year or so to see how they functioned. I know something he quoted from this book is like a comment you just made referring eye contact. He says if you make eye contact with a girl, you NEED to go talk to her within a minute, or she will feel you don't have self confidence, so it's now or never. I never read the book, not the biggest book guy, but he SWEARS by it. Judging on how he does based on dates vs appearance, I'd guess there must be something there. So if you are a guy who doesn't do as well as you would like, maybe try giving this book a shot.

[Carlos S]

Never been approach in any way. But then again, I'm young, don't go out that much and really not all that good looking (well, I was pretty out of shape most of my life)

[insertnamehere]

he somehow found the book The Game

 

PUA is like communism. There are some worthy points there, but you'd never really want the world running on those principles.

[fucpcg]

Or neither me, just throwing it out there. Don't know what's in the book overall, just know he keeps trying to get me to read it. He thinks my confidence is devastated thanks to my breakup with my ex, and that this book is the answer to my woes. Apparently that's how it went down for him. Sometimes guys can't understand that not dating because of bad breakup is NOT because we can't pickup someone else, but because we miss our ex. If you had an address book of every hot girl that found me attractive for sale, currently I'm not interested in purchasing.

[insertnamehere]

Or neither me, just throwing it out there. Don't know what's in the book overall, just know he keeps trying to get me to read it.

 

It's actually not the worst book you'll ever read. The advice is now considered a bit a dated. Also, to be honest, a lot of the advice is really aimed at guys whose confidence has been completely gutted by years of persistent failure. The story itself is kind of a dumb funny tragedy about guys with borderline personalities doing dumb ****.

 

The big thing I'd say is it's not for the impressionable. If you watched Fight Club and thought it was just about guys smackin each other around, then you probably shouldn't read The Game.

[phineas]

I had a lady a couple years older than me -- and she wasn't hideous by any measure -- last Friday night trying really hard to hint that she wanted a casual screw. I was at the bar trying to get served and she was sitting there trying everything in the book.

 

Eventually she says the creepiest ****ing thing a woman has ever said to me: "You seem kind of nervous." Yes, dear, that's it, I'm nervous and that's why I'm not putting out. That was the rare case where I felt like maybe I understood where women are coming from when they complain about guys at the bar.

 

It's funny to me, because I don't like being approached for the most part. A lot of it for me is that I don't handle unexpected developments well. Also, within that criteria, it astonishes me that no one has ever taught women that you never approach from behind or set your approach up as an ambush. Human beings react very negatively to a random person attacking outside of their field of vision.

 

If she was doable, i love that stuff because I know I can have my way with her (back door) & she'd probably love it.

[riggs]

I'm a courier for Fedex and I'd say 12-13 girls have had at least innocent crushes on me. Most of it stems from me coming to their work the same time periodically, smiling, saying hi, and in general just breaking up the monotony of their day. One relationship and a couple of flings have have resulted from the women I've met on my route.

[brokenTom]

Back in highschool I was asked out by various girls about once every couple months. I went to a small school, my class had 60 and was considered too big. Maybe that had something to do with it. There were also a couple girls who kept asking me out over and over again, like they thought I'd eventually cave in and say yes to them.

 

I started a fairly intense career soon after school, and the church and grocery store I go to on a regular basis is always full of old people, so I just don't see girls my age anymore.

[Fondue]

I don't consider standing next to you, accidentally "touching" you repeatedly, playing with her hair, smiling, etc. as being approached. That's communicating possible interest. I think most of us get that quite a bit. I choose to ignore 99% of the time because really, that isn't an approach.

 

A true approach is when they come up to you and start a conversation, I get that about every time I go out at night. Maybe once or a twice a night. I don't think more than that, honestly.

 

If you read my other thread from about a month ago, the women that approach you (or in this case me), were the women that you ignore wholeheartedly. Give them zero ounce of attention and somehow they come up to you to get it.

[Fondue]

As far as the topic of sexual come-ons go, it is kind of disgusting. I had a few women do this before and it's kind of embarrassing. A lot of these women say things that are quite raunchy and it screams pathetic. I can never take a woman seriously when she whispers something in your ear like, "you know they say I am good with my mouth" and then touch your thigh. I immediately lose respect for that woman.

 

The one woman in particular who had bragged about her fellatio ability relentlessly because I kept ignoring her come-ons ended up taking advantage of my drunken state by the end of then night, ripped off my pants, and did the deed. She was definitely not good in that department. What false advertisement it was. Not only did I feel dirty, I was disappointed as well.

 

It's funny. If a man says these things, he's a creep and harassing the girl. Especially if he touches her "inappropriately." If a woman does it, it's "empowering."

[Necris]

As far as the topic of sexual come-ons go, it is kind of disgusting. I had a few women do this before and it's kind of embarrassing. A lot of these women say things that are quite raunchy and it screams pathetic. I can never take a woman seriously when she whispers something in your ear like, "you know they say I am good with my mouth" and then touch your thigh. I immediately lose respect for that woman.

 

The one woman in particular who had bragged about her fellatio ability relentlessly because I kept ignoring her come-ons ended up taking advantage of my drunken state by the end of then night, ripped off my pants, and did the deed. She was definitely not good in that department. What false advertisement it was. Not only did I feel dirty, I was disappointed as well.

 

It's funny. If a man says these things, he's a creep and harassing the girl. Especially if he touches her "inappropriately." If a woman does it, it's "empowering."

 

Wow you guys have some of the craziest stories.

[ThaWholigan]

As far as the topic of sexual come-ons go, it is kind of disgusting. I had a few women do this before and it's kind of embarrassing. A lot of these women say things that are quite raunchy and it screams pathetic. I can never take a woman seriously when she whispers something in your ear like, "you know they say I am good with my mouth" and then touch your thigh. I immediately lose respect for that woman.

 

The one woman in particular who had bragged about her fellatio ability relentlessly because I kept ignoring her come-ons ended up taking advantage of my drunken state by the end of then night, ripped off my pants, and did the deed. She was definitely not good in that department. What false advertisement it was. Not only did I feel dirty, I was disappointed as well.

 

It's funny. If a man says these things, he's a creep and harassing the girl. Especially if he touches her "inappropriately." If a woman does it, it's "empowering."

That post was threadworthy

 

I don't know too many women who would be particularly impressed with that woman's behavior though.

[Fondue]

Wow you guys have some of the craziest stories.

 

Hahaha, I didn't think it was a crazy story at all! I think this sort of thing happens quite often really. Sexuality is welcomed more and more every day and women are less oppressed to be sexual. Some of them take it too far and are way too forward about it than others though...

 

That post was threadworthy

 

I don't know too many women who would be particularly impressed with that woman's behavior though.

I honestly believe that some women treat men as challenges. Sort of like men who treat women as challenges.

 

Some men and women (in this case, it was this woman) get upset when the opposite gender isn't attracted to them. They feel like they deserve that attention and literally start fighting for it. If you ignore it enough, they will take drastic measures to attain that attention just to TELL THEMSELVES that they have your attraction.

 

I firmly believe in her eyes, once she got me "down," she felt like I finally accepted her and momentarily found myself attracted to her, it bumped up her self worth. It's crazy that some people can think this way, but I think they do!

 

I hope taht made sense. It made sense in my head as I was writing it...

[insertnamehere]

The problem with women approaching is that they're terrible at it.

 

The one thing that has to be said about the whole "guys are creeps" thing is that it does force us to work on our game. Women . . . I've known women whose entire sales pitch was best summarized as "I washed my hair and I shook my butt . . . what else do you want?"

 

It doesn't help that from a heteronormative viewpoint, women really, really don't want to direct approach. For women, direct approach is almost invariably a full-on gambit. That's of course why women prefer to indirectly approach and orbit and make their presence known.

[mn311601]

Never happened in 27 years.

[insertnamehere]

OK . . . that's it. I'm done hiking and running and I'm eating nothing but 12" subs from now on. This **** just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

 

A chick had her male friend bring a beer over to me and tell me it was from her. WTF?! Worse, the poor guy was clearly straight and judging by their interaction, clearly liked her. That was just sick. That wasn't right at all.

 

The stuff I'm seeing since I started getting in shape makes me question humanity.

[rocketman122]

It happens here and there but always at the supermarket or post office while waiting in line.

 

as an impressive tall bodybuilder who's very much into grooming I get a lot of looks. men here arent into taking care of themselves, looking older than their age, & arent so tall on average. so woman arent used to seeing guys who look like me. but yes a lot of eye humping.

 

I got hit on by a 54Yo a month ago who was trying to hook me up with her daughter 25 (im 40) and she was in front of me but kept turning back making believe like she was looking around and there was a strong sexual tension feel between us. I wanted to grab her and throw her to the floor right there. we continued the conversation outside. but Im not into young girlies. funny because I was a bit mean/serious to her telling her this is the express lane and she had more than the allowed items and she started flirting with me!

 

3 months ago I had that at the PO where we both complained how long it took and the conversation continued from there. not my type exactly but again the sexual tension was incredible.

 

I get it all the time at the gym as well. tons of empty steppers and woman will come to the one next to mine even though im at the end of all of them. its very obvious . they look down then come up and make eye contact over and over. but way too young for me. were talking 20's. I like older woman.

 

when I go to see my GF by train. she lives some distance away. you see the woman come to the waiting platform and are walking quickly locked straight ahead, then they see me(giving me the quick up/down look) and suddenly abruptly slow down and come stand behind/next me. they make believe like theyre not looking but you can clearly see they are. they play with their phones and look you up and down, then again look to the side then give you the very obvious eye contact.

[phineas]

Last yr I went out to the fireman's picnic (beer tent) I couldn't find my belt & went with an old braided leather belt from my fat days (it was like a foot too long) so I looped it & let is dangle down.

 

My buddies friend showed up with his woman friend.

She was 10yrs younger & a few inches taller than me & zeroed in on me & spent most of the evening tugging on the end of my belt.

 

Unfortunately I had basically given up drinking to get myself in shape & I got a little too drunk.

 

Not sloppy or anything but making a move on her when she invited me back to her car didn't even cross my mind. LOL!

 

I did call her but she didn't get back to me.

 

I now know why, because she considered me not trying to have sex with her as a rejection.

 

Even though I called her after the weekend & left a message. She still probably felt rejected.

 

I can't drink like I used to so I've learned to pace myself now because If I drink too much I just don't care if I get laid or not.

 

Also, and I can't believe i'm saying this but since I got in shape, i've had enough sex with enough different women & I don't feel the need to jump into bed with every woman who's offering it.