Saxis Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 Very rarely... I'm not all that social when I'm out and about and I'm sure I don't seem very approachable. It happened more often while I was married (even my XW approached me) or in relationships, and generally by older women and jailbait. Maybe 4-5 times in the last 10 years? Almost never by someone I would've been interested in dating...
phineas Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 All the time. When I am out, I am generally smiling, clowning around, having a good time, so maybe they pickup on that. Last summer was at this outdoor event downtown, and there was a dunk tank to raise funds for whatever charity, I forget. My buddy was in the tank, so we traded a few words jokingly before I purchased some balls. Since I'm avid baller I clowned around my first few balls, tried to do a windmill pitch, throw with my left when I am a righty, etc. Then my last ball I wizzed it down and beaned the target, but the chair didn't drop. So I thought it would be funny to just run down the sidewalk and head butt the target so he would drop. I did, almost split my head open!, and he dropped, and everyone around the tank watching was laughing their butt's off. You would not believe the amount of women who approached me that night. Do something to be unique, funny, uninhibited, with a smile, and watch what happens. I'm sure your build doesn't hurt either.
fucpcg Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 Fair enough, however coming from a meathead who is surrounded all day by other meatheads, if all you have to offer is a body, only a few shallow women will go after that. There are a ton of guys in my gym who are only attracting the women I wouldn't even consider dating, and that is about it. Personality is the best way to show who you are, because it IS who you are. Just don't ever be afraid to be a bit fun and wild, or in my case crazy fun and wild. Once in a while I can sense a woman just vibeing on my body, but most often I sense a woman picking up on my happy go luckiness.
fucpcg Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I am sure there were insecure guys like you in the audience thinking the same thing you are, however my girl friends, my guy friends, and the people around the dunk tank were having quite the laugh, and nobody was talking about my body. However if you want to cry from a distance about how unappealing, ignorant, and unintelligent that meathead is, go ahead. I'll be the one sleeping with the girl who fell for the guy who did the things you would never have the balls to.
fucpcg Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Dude I've never come after anyone in here, and you decided you knew me and happened to be at the exact same evening I described and witnessed it first hand to give your report on how it went down. I shared my experience on the topic, feel free to do the same on the thread topic based on your experiences.
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I'm sure your build doesn't hurt either. Too bad his bald spot loses him points. 1
fucpcg Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Why don't you and Oxi go hang out and have a beer, seems like you were meant for each other. My guess is you lot will be married in no time. And since you are a moderator, if my avatar violates rules, take it down. Oh what's that, it doesn't? Then STFU. Oh your not a moderator? Then STFU 1
William Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Did someone mention a moderator? After that nice exchange, let's get back on topic.
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 That's right the world is just jealous and irrationally hates you. Another muscleman stereotype: narcissism. You can send that picture in your avatar to women in private, but why do I have to see a shirtless man with an awful spray-on tan when I enter a thread? Thank you. He puts a shirtless picture of himself flexing his muscles. What does that say? It says he's desperate for the attention of random women. It's pathetic because women don't respond to that type of sh*t. They aren't visual like men to be turned on by that. It screams bravado, fragile ego, and desperate lamebrain. I just have to laugh at his pathetic attempts to get female attention. I'm pretty sure he's hoping tons of women will private message him. But I wouldn't be surprised if the only private message he receives is from some desperate gay male who looks like Andy Dick. In any case, sorry for derailing the thread. I just had to say c'mon. Take the avatar down, guy. No one is impressed. EDIT: Sorry William, I only noticed your post later. 1
fucpcg Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I'm not here to impress you or your girlfriend Woody Allen. And you can keep preaching about how bad life sucks for self confident, well built men, I'm sure it helps you feel better about not achieving things us with dedication and drive do. And I'll be sure to tell the girl I dated from the Playboy's Girls Next Door issue how unappealing I am to you and your girlfriend Woody. I'm sure that will make her regret going out with a bald, spray on tan bodybuilder.
fucpcg Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Did someone mention a moderator? After that nice exchange, let's get back on topic. Throw the check where the check is due.
William Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Mr. Allen and Mr. fucpcg, the next person to speak gets a vacation. Your choice.
Red Arremer Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 the only time girls approach me, are by girls that don't attract me. Oh hey look at this, the question was answered in the very first post. I suppose it's possible that women "subtly" show interest, but a woman's idea of subtle is something along the lines of "think positive thoughts about him and maybe he'll use his mind reading rays to pick up on that and approach" so... yeah.
Author insertnamehere Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 First, do we need all the cattiness here, guys? Yeah, a few of those answers probably were overly littered with guys qualifying themselves, but none of them came off as heavily objectionable. I was curious where I fit on the scale. Especially since I got serious about diet and exercise. Pre exercise regimen, I was getting approached about once a night, with a 50-50 chance of it being an overt approach ("you're kinda cute" seems popular around me) versus the more stand here and smile and flail to get your attention approach. Since I picked up my exercise regimen (it's a military style ruck march every single day, for those who want to know) that's gone up to twice a night and some of the overt approaches have become pretty damned sexual (ex: "let's pretend we know each other and see what happens"). I've always been one of those people with no idea where he fits in the scheme of things. This all certainly seems to answer my question. I'd be intrigued to hear further answers.
carhill Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 a. a woman walking up and speaking to you, b. a woman touching you c. a woman staring at you d. a woman standing close to you. Which of these are you referring to? In my response upthread, I was referring to any overt act of contact by an otherwise unknown woman who was not incidentally in my space anyway. As an example of 'in my space', a woman standing in front of me in the TSA line at the airport saying hello, or a FA stopping at my seat and asking if everything is OK. I tend to encounter a variety of women more when traveling so use such examples.
fucpcg Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I was curious where I fit on the scale. Especially since I got serious about diet and exercise. I've always been one of those people with no idea where he fits in the scheme of things. This all certainly seems to answer my question. I'd be intrigued to hear further answers. You just have to go with what fits your personality. Mine is a standup comedian type of personality, which is probably a product of growing up during the Leslie Nielson, Bill Murray, Rodney Dangerfield days of comedy movies, so I'm all about telling jokes. Hell I can repeat half of all Rodney's material off the top of my head, in a pretty good Rodney voice. I went to a party one night with a girl I really liked, who was in love with me the first week we were together, then we get to this party and its like I'm the plague and she can't get far enough away from me. What happened, I have no idea... but whatever, I just started talking to other people at the party. Talking led to beers together, which led to jokes, and I clowned around with them the whole night, telling jokes doing impersonations, etc. I ended up leaving suddenly when the girl I came with chose to leave suddenly, since it wasn't my party anyway, and it did finally get to me that she was blowing me off. One of the girls I met that night, who was in the ladies room when I left, spent the next month asking everyone at that party who I was, if anybody knew how to find me, etc, cause she wanted to ask me out but I just disappeared on her. It's pretty true that if you can make a girl laugh he butt off, you are pretty much "in". She eventually found me, and we didn't date but became great friends. So there's actually the story of my username. The girls from that party dubbed me Crazy Party Crasher Guy when trying to figure out who I was, or CPCG for short. After getting to know this girl, she complained that my head was all f'd up from the girl I went to the party with, as we were going thru a bit of a "I love you" to "I can't stand you" phase, or at least she was with me, and I just wanted to work things out with her... so NOW my friend graduated me to FUCPCG. So this story goes back to my first post, if you can be a bit silly, unhinged, funny around girls, you can open them up in a way that a tight fitting shirt can never do. Just know it doesn't always go well, and sometimes people may look at you like an ass, depending on their sense of humor. One of my fave pickup lines when out is, if I see a couple of girls sitting at the bar having a drink, I will have the bartender send them over a couple of tap waters in a cup (not bottled water mind you), and tell them it was compliments of, and paid for by me. In response I have got some of the dirtiest looks imaginable (perfect, with wasting zero time I figured out that girl is NOT compatible with me), and I've had other girls fall off their stool laughing. Hell I've gone up to girls that I thought were checking me out from a distance, held out my hand and said "Pull my finger". It's WAAAY more unique than can I buy you a drink? Someone else in here posted dress nice, be respectful, be in shape, all things I agree with. However if you can throw in crazy sense of humor on top of all that, you will definitely get women coming up to talk to you. You just have to be able to dust it off when they DON'T find you funny, and for me the ratio seems about 50/50.
Author insertnamehere Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 @carhill: To count an approach, I think it would have to fit a few criteria. One, it needs to be persistent. More than a hello. Two, it needs to lack any other earthly explanation. Waitresses being friendly don't count. Although, yes, that does mean we're ruling out occasional valid approaches. Three, it needs to exceed normal etiquette for the circumstance. The lady at a conference asking about your work doesn't count until she sticks around a half-hour. You just have to go with what fits your personality. The only issue I have there is that my personality is very distant and aloof. And, yes, I am aware there is an entire group of women who will do backflips upon request for that kind of guy, especially those of us who are sincerely that way and not faking it. The girls from that party dubbed me Crazy Party Crasher Guy Oh, someone is just waiting to become an internet meme!
Necris Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Women approach? Are you serious? I have never experienced something like that.
Stilnaught Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I wish i could counter the "if they approach you, you don't want them" statement, but to me it has been true: people who could be my grandma trying to get someone at all costs, drunk people, attention whores, ...
phineas Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 I wish i could counter the "if they approach you, you don't want them" statement, but to me it has been true: people who could be my grandma trying to get someone at all costs, drunk people, attention whores, ... hahaha. yeah i've had women put their hand on my inner thigh while sitting at a bar. (because they think i'm drunk enough to go home with them)
Author insertnamehere Posted April 6, 2012 Author Posted April 6, 2012 hahaha. yeah i've had women put their hand on my inner thigh while sitting at a bar. (because they think i'm drunk enough to go home with them) I had a lady a couple years older than me -- and she wasn't hideous by any measure -- last Friday night trying really hard to hint that she wanted a casual screw. I was at the bar trying to get served and she was sitting there trying everything in the book. Eventually she says the creepiest ****ing thing a woman has ever said to me: "You seem kind of nervous." Yes, dear, that's it, I'm nervous and that's why I'm not putting out. That was the rare case where I felt like maybe I understood where women are coming from when they complain about guys at the bar. It's funny to me, because I don't like being approached for the most part. A lot of it for me is that I don't handle unexpected developments well. Also, within that criteria, it astonishes me that no one has ever taught women that you never approach from behind or set your approach up as an ambush. Human beings react very negatively to a random person attacking outside of their field of vision.
Imajerk17 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 (edited) All the time. When I am out, I am generally smiling, clowning around, having a good time, so maybe they pickup on that. Last summer was at this outdoor event downtown, and there was a dunk tank to raise funds for whatever charity, I forget. My buddy was in the tank, so we traded a few words jokingly before I purchased some balls. Since I'm avid baller I clowned around my first few balls, tried to do a windmill pitch, throw with my left when I am a righty, etc. Then my last ball I wizzed it down and beaned the target, but the chair didn't drop. So I thought it would be funny to just run down the sidewalk and head butt the target so he would drop. I did, almost split my head open!, and he dropped, and everyone around the tank watching was laughing their butt's off. You would not believe the amount of women who approached me that night. Do something to be unique, funny, uninhibited, with a smile, and watch what happens. Very cool. Props. Meanwhile, I just don't get the haters to what you're saying. Now I personally could not pull something like that off--maybe I'm not outgoing enough--but I definitely salute someone who can. Edited April 6, 2012 by Imajerk17
Imajerk17 Posted April 6, 2012 Posted April 6, 2012 Ladies? Please do not comment here. At all. I know everyone loves commenting on questions for the opposite gender, but please don't. As for the question itself . . . Guys? How often do you get approached by a woman when you're out? I get the impression from what guys I know say and what I see posted online that a lot of guys literally never get approached. I'm trying to gauge how normal my situation is. So, how often? Never ever? Once in a blue moon? Once a year? Once a month? Once a night? More? By a woman I'd be interested in? I sometimes get a glance. It's usually all I need... But approached directly? By someone I am interested in? How about close to never.
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