clp13 Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 This is kind of a complicated story so I will try and keep it short. I am a 26 year old female and my ex is 28. We are currently working towards a reconciliation but I am worried that his family will always get in the way and we will never have our OWN LIFE. We were together for 3 years and during this time his two younger sisters were never friendly towards me. He told me in the beginning that they never liked anyone he dated but that he had sat them down and told them I was different and they were not going to treat me like they had treated the other girls. They would never say hi to me if I walked into a room and basically ignored me unless my ex was around and even then they never even tried to get to know me. I am a very nice person and they are the type of girls that are overly dramatic and everything is about them, they are always right. Along with this, there was one time where his youngest sister yelled at me because he had tried to help someone on the side of the road in a snowstorm. She went berserk and started crying becuase she felt he was putting us in danger and then yelled at me for not stopping him from doing it. I felt she was completly irrational but the ex never defended me and when we got back to the cabin (we had gone to their family cabin for the weekend) everything was fine again. This bothered me but at that point in our relationship, I wasn't sure how to approach the subject. Well, over the next couple years they continued to be rude to me and when it got to the point where he was going to propose, I told him I needed some space and time to think and we broke up. I wasn't sure if I could see marrying, even though he is perfect for me every way, my best friend. This had to do some with my own commitment issues and some with his family. It's been 4 months and and we started talking two weeks ago, initiated by me. I want to be with him and I know he is the one for me. I dated someone else and so did he but we could only think about eachother. I really worked on myself knowing that if we got back together alot of things would need to be different in order for things to work. When his sister found out we were talking again, she emailed me and told me to stay away from him and let him move on, he's happy blah blah. She told me not to tell him she emailed me and that she would be talking to him about it. I basically told her I have a right to tell him how I feel and its between him and I. She kept emailing me, each email getting more and more abusive and insulting, accusing me of all kinds of things like I was jeolous of her family and trying to take my ex away from them. We have been talking and of course I told him what she had said and sent him copies of the emails. After he read them, he said that was last straw, he was sick of them thinking they know whats best for him and trying to interfere in everything. He told them off and said they better change or else they won't be seeing him anymore. I'm wondering if anyone has had experiance with this kind of dysfunctional family? I love my ex and we both want to be together and have very openly disscussed our relationship and what we want. Everything we want is the same. This is the man I want to marry but I am worried about how his family will affect our relationship. Advice?
Philosoraptor Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 When you marry a person you generally marry the family. I had a similar issue but it was my ex hating everyone else in my life. It will make things very stressful trying to balance everything out. I think what is best is if you can somehow talk directly to the family and repair things.
winebrens21 Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Wow I went through the same exact thing! I consider myself a very friendly person but my ex'es older sister would constantly interfer. She would send me harrassing texts that I was hurting her little brother and all this crap. I just ignored it. Do not play into her little games. She obviously has nothing else better to do and considers you a threat to her. I told my ex at the time that this needed to stop and I made sure he stood up to his sister. Do not play into her little games and just ignore her. I totally know how it feels, especially when you have done nothing wrong.
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