blindesided Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 Im trying to hard to find fault with my ex so I can be angry instead of just sad. No matter what I try - its not working - I agree its easier to get over an ass - getting over a great guy is just about the hardest thing I have been through. - ugh...hang in there - from what I've read & people tell me - it is possible to move on & heal - Beleive me I have been trying!
Author Redbul Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 Are you in NC? If so, how long has it been? Its been 3 days for me, and I had a dream about him last night. We were together with my family, swimming and relaxing at the pool. Even in my dream I felt anxiety and his restlessness. I saw his phone and picked it up to see who kept texting him and saw some girls name (I would never actually look at his phone). A little while later I heard him on the phone ordering a cab to pick him up, I asked him what was going on and he said there was a big party he was going to. He left and somehow in my dream I was trying to txt him asking him why he would not invite me to the party but I physically was so weak I could not type. My muscles wouldnt work.. My brother somehow lived across the street from him and that night I was walking over to my bro's house and i saw a girl sitting on his porch. I felt sick, and then he came out and both of them just smirked at me and walked away. Oh and she had a child with her (how ironic)!!! He texted me later and said "I dont know why you were acting so weird" which is exactly how he would minimize his behavior to me and make me feel like I was always wrong. This dream really summed up for me what I have been feeling with him though not allowing myself to actually feel... Devalued, confused, un-cared for, someone else was always better or more appealing, shame and like i was always expecting too much... Im really glad I had this dream as it will hopefully make NC easier I hope the same for you... Hang in there!!!!
blindesided Posted April 5, 2012 Posted April 5, 2012 I was in NC until yesterday - Kind of complicated story - When we broke up (he said he wanted to stay friends) - We had all these events to still go to - sports events & concerts. I had limited contact for a week until last Thurs - our last event - I wanted to talk to him that night after the show to tell him I cant be friends & need time. Well he had too much to drink so I left it I will call him later. - Didnt call him but I knew I would get an e-mail from him - I won a final four bracket that he was in charge of. So it had been a week & I was starting to feel better - Now since i got this e-mail - I am right back to square one - NC really does help. I just replied very generic - nothing that would require a response from him. I do think if he e-mails me again - I need to meet up with him (to get my winnings) plus to finally get off my chest what I have been feeling & tell him to not contact me. I have been feeling terrible today so trust me NC is the way to go for sure!!! It does get better - slowly but surely!
Author Redbul Posted April 5, 2012 Author Posted April 5, 2012 I'm sorry you are having a rough time.... Hopefully you will not have to see him after this. I remember making plans to see my ex and I was so relieved and excited to see him, only to go through tremendous pain afterwards so, yes I agree NC is the way to go.. I just got a call from my daughters pediatrician telling me she had an abnormal EKG and of course I immediately wanted to reach out to my ex since he is a physician and talk it over with him. I will go online instead and try to get answers since it would just be a ruse to contact him...Stay strong:)
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