jtnc2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 We are both males, but it was never about sex. We just had an amazing connection. We were never really in a relationship, but we shared a business and home together. He doesn't want people to think he is gay so lately he has been putting distance between us, as I am the first guy he has been romantic with. Things went south because of his drug use (which isn't all his fault, I enabled him) and now I'm technically homeless but I manage to find shelter while he stays with his mother. I can't live there because he doesn't want her to suspect, even though I think she already knew. He says it is just temporary until we save up the cash, but I don't know how much more I can take. And he speaks of having separate places and calls "our" dog "his" dog now. Our arguments are always so petty. But they usually start because I feel like he should have been more considerate or sensitive to me. I guess I'm still seeing him in a boyfriend mindset. But we usually end things on a good note. But today was the worst ever. We started off arguing or having an attitude with one another at 9am today and did not stop. We even did spiteful things to each other, something we have NEVER done. I love this guy to death and saw him as my soulmate, but now I cringe when he comes near and I feel resentful because I feel like he has emotionally abandoned me. Towards the end of the day he tried to make amends slightly by explaining himself for something he did that I found disrespectful, but the damage is done. And it bothers me that we lived in a relationship but when I talked to him about making it official, he shut me down. That bitterness compounds my inability to forgive him this time and I want to be done with him. I sent him this text "Been doin a lot of thinkin after today. Maybe we should go our separate ways? . . . idk, seems like we no longer walk the same paths. I can't work with someone I can't stand to be around, it's just too stressful, too much conflict and too much drama." I have travelocity up and ready to book a ticket and start over a new, but part of me feels so sick about the notion. It hurt so much to send that text but Im at my wits end. I am a pro when it comes to NC, but I can't leave him because of the business. And I can't stay because I'm tired of the fighting, and I need time to fall out of love with him and focus on myself. I really need objective ears and points of view. I really need some advice.
ChaseYng2005 Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 I'd say stay for the business part of it, but then again, you say he is a heavy drug user, maybe you should just move on.
Author jtnc2012 Posted April 4, 2012 Author Posted April 4, 2012 He still hasn't replied to the text. A large part of me hopes he says he doesn't care and I can just move on. I don't want to hurt him.
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