NeverDated Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 My boyfriend is a wonderful man. Kind, sweet, caring, assertive when necessary and overall just great. One thing in our relationship that really bothers me is the frequency with which he compliments my appearance. I hear it several times a day. The consistent flattery bugs me, and he says he is going to keep at it until I "believe him." Now, I am fully capable of accepting that, objectively, I am an attractive woman. I wouldn't describe myself as "thin", but I do try to keep myself in good shape. I have a "classically beautiful" face and am rarely lacking for male attention whether I want it or not. I simply do not find myself attractive, meaning I don't meet my own criteria for attractiveness in a woman. Is that such a bad thing? Why does he feel the need to reiterate it so often? Sometimes the words feel empty, because of how often he says them, and part of me wonders if that's just what he does. It's probably more important to know why it bothers me so much, but I doubt anyone here has a crystal ball...
Feelsgoodman Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 When people try very hard to convince you of something, they are, first and foremost, trying to convince themselves.
Author NeverDated Posted April 3, 2012 Author Posted April 3, 2012 When people try very hard to convince you of something, they are, first and foremost, trying to convince themselves. Ouch. Obviously that exact thought has crossed my mind. I don't really have any indication to believe that's the case, though. His actions give me nothing but reason to think he believes what he's saying.
prune juice Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 When people try very hard to convince you of something, they are, first and foremost, trying to convince themselves. waaaaaaat? no.
carhill Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 One potential is he has some insecurities about the relationship and wishes his words to be on your mind when you're being hit on by other men.
prune juice Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Ouch. Obviously that exact thought has crossed my mind. I don't really have any indication to believe that's the case, though. His actions give me nothing but reason to think he believes what he's saying. he thinks you're beautiful. you don't. stop overthinking this. you gals overthink too much. don't turn a compliment into a negative. 2
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