darran Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 (edited) We've been broken up for 1.4 years! At first, for a good 8-9 months contact was reciprocated. Sometimes negative, sometimes positive. The entire time she has been with some guy.... the guy she messed around with while with me. Over the last few months she has been contacting me willy nilly telling me she doesn't love him, this that and the other. I mean, yea I cared a lot for this girl. I was broken hearted. But a few months back I had just taken ENOUGH! I told her not to contact me. Changed my number 3 times, my house phone twice. Blocked, deleted you name she was removed from my life. She makes fake facebook profiles, and then sweet talks me.... yes I know... I fall for it hook line and sinker. She finds me on my work IM's and manages to sweet talk me back into contact. It got way too much so I truly put an end to it. I haven't heard from her now for a good 6-8 days.... well to be honest, I never actually gave her the chance to say anything. I just told her where to go. Now what she is doing is lying to everyone I know, her friends, family, my friends she knows... I mean this girl is snooping on my FB, asking questions about me and saying the most horrible things about me while all this time staying with this guy. I did something stupid. Any time SHE contacted me I have recorded it; call times (actual evidence on paper - call records) and print screen shots of IM conversations. You name it I kept a record of it. So I sent it all to this new guy. He went ballistic and now she is hell bent on making me out to be some type of psycho EX (which I may have been a bit emotional back when the break up was fresh). But I am far from being a psycho EX boyfriend, I am just a guy who (i dont even know If I do now) cared a lot for this person. I am not, have not and will not be in contact with her. I am not saying a bad thing about her to anyone. In fact I feel ok it just hurts she is doing this. It REALLY hurts... I don't know why and I wish I could just get answers as to why she is doing this. We were not in an abusive relationship and in reality, she was actually better off when we were a couple. I have a new car, 35'000 miles on it. Nice new furniture for my place, new everything.... new job... happy man... happy doing things, happy I am finally over the madness I just went through but now its getting a bit "insane" how she keeps getting in touch regardless of what I do. And telling me she doesn't love this guy - YET STAYS WITH HIM!!!!!!!!! She is resorting to publicly saying stuff on FB now; since I have been telling her to REALLY leave me alone.... unfortunately I share a similar circle of friends as she does. She has lost friends, so have I... and all over what? I assume as you can tell by this post my head is a little busted over this. Please, someone tell me what the hell is going on with her because I am no longer trying to get her back, trying to do anything I am just telling her: "PLEASE - LEAVE ME ALONE - SORT YOUR HEAD OUT AND YOURSELF OUT. I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE AS YOU ARE COMING ACROSS AS SOMEONE I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW" What has happened to this girl I knew. She was NEVER like this! The s**t she told me regarding the relationship she has with this guy is unbelievable. As if they are just convenience. It really is straining me again but what strains me the most (emotionally) is why???? Why is she doing this to me after the s**t she has already put me through??? Edited April 3, 2012 by darran
Philosoraptor Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 She's hurting. She came back to you because her new relationship wasn't what she hoped and wanted to go back to what was safe and comfortable before. She is broken inside and seems to need to be with someone and can not leave unless she has a safe landing spot. Avoidance does not healing make. As for the facebook garbage, while I can see why you messaged her new man with this information, it wasn't your place to. Your true friends know your character and will not be swayed by her negative comments. Honestly, delete her from facebook so you don't have to deal with it either. Block her as well. Maybe if you can't read it she will stop as she is trying to get back at you. 4
NeverDated Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 She's hurt, scared, lonely and depressed. From what you wrote, she sounds borderline dangerous in her stalking habits. I'm sure she had hopes that when you found out about the "new guy" you'd realize just how much you want to win her back. It didn't happen, and now she's unwilling to admit to herself that the relationship is a front. So now she's attempting to play the sympathy card to entice you to be her savior. I get the impression from your initial post that she comes up with new FB accounts when you block an old one, just like she finds your new numbers and devious ways of getting in contact with you. As far as Facebook, put it on super lockdown. Make it entirely hidden to everyone but friends and make it so no one can search for you. With that level of stalking, though, it may be hard to prevent by anything short of a restraining order. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Sounds like your ex really misses you, misses the way it was, but has some type of i don't know what with the new guy. She seems afraid to let him go because then she will have no one. She was clearly seeking your attention--even negative because it's a daily dose of you. You are correct in that she needs to sort her head out and find out what she wants. Try your best to simply ignore.
wilsonx Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 I empathize with your ex, I may have done all of those things myself. As for your answers to your questions... She isnt "Conscious" of her own actions. Shes not self aware.
Sugarkane Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 If she keeps making fake profiles, can't you just block/ defriend them?
Author darran Posted April 4, 2012 Author Posted April 4, 2012 If she keeps making fake profiles, can't you just block/ defriend them? Yes and yes! You can make as many fake profiles as you want. The last one she made I just told her what I said in OP (capital letters). That was over a week ago. Haven't heard from her. Only thing I've "heard" is her asking what I am up to by asking a friend to snoop over FB.... ....she needs to be alone for a good while. Really. She needs to sort her head out big time. It is straining because you still care but know its just damaging and will lead to nothing. Thanks for the insights!
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