tyronm21 Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I’ve known a girl for 5 years now. She’s always known I’ve had a crush on her. We did hang out a few times just the two of us, but I guess they weren’t really dates. She had a boyfriend last year but the relationship didn’t work out. It seems like she’s still hurting, more than a year later. Since her breakup we’ve been hanging out way more than we did before. Anyway sensing an opportunity, I decided to do the whole valentines day thing with her this year. I got her flowers and gifts. She seemed pleasantly surprised, or maybe it was an uncomfortable smile on her face (Lol, I’m not good at reading emotions I guess). She told me later that she wasn’t really a valentines day person (Said it was always a time of bad luck for her). Anyway we’ve hung out since then, so I’m hoping that it’s a good sign. But I’m still not sure if I’m in the friendzone or if shes just using me to boost her self-esteem. Maybe shes just afraid to commit to another relationship after what happened with the last one? Any thoughts?
dasein Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 It seems she just isn't that interested. A "not valentine's day person" will very quickly become a "valentine's day person" if they are into the person showing the affection IME. Good for you for putting yourself out there. Maybe next time, start with simple dates, and build up to gifts and such once you are exclusively dating. Gauge a woman's interest by whether she accepts your dates and efforts at physical affection enthusiastically or not. Save the gifts for once she has proven herself to be worth your time and on the same page as you. Good luck.
carhill Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Any thoughts? If you've known her five years and have made your feelings known through words and/or actions, accept that, apparently, they are not reciprocated and proceed on that information. If she is a good friend to you, which is markedly different from *letting* you be a good friend to her, then resolve your feelings and proceed as a platonic friend or acknowledge your attraction and cut ties and move on. In any event, actively date other women and share your life with this female friend, should you choose to continue as her friend, like you would with any other friend. If she's a true friend, she'll be interested in and happy for your successes in life, including those with women. Good luck.
Stellar Wench Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 She isn't interested in you romantically, though she probably values you as a friend.
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