Talulah Posted June 15, 2004 Posted June 15, 2004 I dated a guy for about one year, was madly in love although he never really committed. I found out last week that he's been cheating on me, and lying, for the last 4 months. I was so upset and shocked at first, but I decided not to confront things and just dissapear from his life. Unfortunately he now works at a shop opposite me and we see each other every day. I wanted to ignore him and just be civil but he still makes me laugh, and makes me feel good. Ive stopped all sexual contact and made it clear that is over, but I still want to remain friends. He leaves for overseas in 2 weeks anyway, and I don't want things to end bitterly. My friends think Im pathetic for not holding a grudge and being angry with him but for some reason I can't connect the lying cheater with this wonderful man that I love. What should I do? Hold the tears in for when Im at home, and maintain the friendship? Or refuse to let him get away with such behaviour and go with the no contact rule?? I just feel so miserable without him in my life.
clia Posted June 16, 2004 Posted June 16, 2004 Do you truly want to just be friends with him, or are you hoping he will come crawling back with declarations of love?
Talulah Posted June 16, 2004 Posted June 16, 2004 I realise he never loved me and never will and I've accepted that. I am not even sexually attracted to him anymore; the thought of him with another woman turned me right off. After a few days of me being less than friendly with him, he turned to me this morning and said, 'Don't believe everything you hear about me.' I replied, 'I know more than you realise. So it might be less embarresing for both of us if you stopped lying. Still friends, though.' Right now I am wishing I hadn't added the last part because it took the sting out of my statement. It was also not planned and now I don't know how to act. Oh, this is torture!!
meanttolive4ever Posted June 17, 2004 Posted June 17, 2004 hmm thats tuff...i didnt even have that. WEll i dont even know if im still friends with my ex cause we never talk and her said im welcome to come over whenever i wanted to. so i uno
UCFKevin Posted June 17, 2004 Posted June 17, 2004 Why would you want to be friends with someone who would do the things he did?!
Talulah Posted June 17, 2004 Posted June 17, 2004 My friends think I have no self respect and tell me I should want to string him up by his balls. I have no idea why I'm not angry with him (although I'm certainly upset). I've never been able to hold a grudge and whilst I'm not a walkover, I hate unnecessary conflict. If I didn't have to see this guy every day (and again, after he comes back from overseas), I would have finished with him ages ago. But the fact is he is in my face all the time and the only way I can keep my sanity is to pretend that everything is normal, and maintain a friendship. It's annoying that he feels like he played me and got away with it, but I am just not the type of person to seek vengeance, and I'm trying to be as practical as possible. Do you have any other suggestions?
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