danettelouise Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 so ive been with my boyfriend for about a year and im happy with him and i love him sooo much but idk what to do about how controlling he is! ex. im trying to find a new job and he doesnt want me working in restuarant or anything where i wil potentionally talk to guys. but what the hell i will be working with guys anywhere i go so he cant really be like this plus ive never done anything to make him not trust me! ive never ever cheated or went behind his back to hang with another man or anything still im being treated like this! i need to get some help in confronting him in a way that wont lead to himm getting extremely angry and i want to be with him still. how can i confront him peacefully and not put our relationship at risk?
Philosoraptor Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 You date someone without control issues. You shouldn't fear living your own life while with someone. You're not happy with him, a happy person does not fear coming to their partner. I was in a controlling relationship, it doesn't get better until you draw the line and let him know you will not accept this treatment. Hopefully you will be as lucky as me and have that person leave because you are unwilling to give in any further.
Professor X Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 so ive been with my boyfriend for about a year and im happy with him and i love him sooo much but idk what to do about how controlling he is! ex. im trying to find a new job and he doesnt want me working in restuarant or anything where i wil potentionally talk to guys. but what the hell i will be working with guys anywhere i go so he cant really be like this plus ive never done anything to make him not trust me! ive never ever cheated or went behind his back to hang with another man or anything still im being treated like this! i need to get some help in confronting him in a way that wont lead to himm getting extremely angry and i want to be with him still. how can i confront him peacefully and not put our relationship at risk? There's no "peaceful" way to bring such a subject about. Cause anyway you say, he will hear how you wanna break free of his grip - that is unacceptable by him. So, that said, you got 2 options: 1. Confront him and tell him that he needs to loosen up and let you live your life - and I will warn you, most likely, he won't like it which will lead to a breakup. 2. You bend over for the rest of your life - don't be surprised when you wake up with an ugly hump one day.
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 He's a controlling, jealous guy...you think there's something you could say or do that could just change his mind? It doesn't matter that you did nothing at all because it's what you have the potential to do. You know it's always funny that these guys are in relationships, they give a lot and expect a lot because they are possessive, manipulative and think you're their property...in fact I don't even put it past these guys that had they not been this way that they would necessarily be in a relationship they are in...imagine feeling like you had to hold onto to everything that loved you because you felt like someone was going to try and take it away? Anyway, you need to exercise your right to independence...or the world you live in is going to get smaller and smaller and try as you might nothing will change his mind or opinion...you might as well beat your head against a concrete wall, you'll have a better chance at results doing that. This guy has to want to change and try to, he needs to accept where ever you work...Is it an orgy at restaurants where everybody dates everyone and the managers hit on the new poon that come in to work there? hell ya they do! people I've seen that worked in restaurants are like working in a small club or online dating site and everyone eventually hooks up with every other person it seems like...however that still doesn't mean I have the right to keep you from working there nor would I stop you, it doesn't mean you working in a office that some casanova isn't going to try and make his move on you there either...bottom line though is his issues are within himself, not with you, so it's not even a matter of where you are, he's going to freak out regardless. If he can't understand he needs to change and learn to deal with these issues and that these are his own...and he's unwilling to compromise or accept that...then you've lost already, It's over before it started regardless of what you say.
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