NothingButAGlance Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 okay for my own personal satisfaction; i need everyones opinion on this. I just recently was in a 8month relationship with someone up 2 weeks ago when I basically caught her contantly lying about some guy she was talking to even though at the time we werent officially together, but we unofficially were? that makes no sense I know, but it was one of those things where we did everything bf/gf but just didnt have the title and the fact that I was sleeping with her still i asked her to respect me in telling me if she was talking to other guys. Well long story short she lied and I went NC two weeks ago. Since then she has cut off communication with that guy and has found someone new within a week 1/2 time period. And they have been officially together as GF/BF for a couple days. Literally like a week after I walked out on her lying to me and less than a month from her telling me she loves me. It's rediculous and the problem why I didnt let her go a month or so ago when this all started happening is because I held onto hope that she would change. I can now say Im officially done with hoping for her back and really hate everything about her. I realize how bad she treated me, she never did anything for me, never bought me stuff, I always took her out, let her do whatever she wants etc. So she is playing games with me now and basically bragging to everyone I know that her new guy is perfect and is going to be a doctor and all these things so I hear about it. All of my friends have told me she is no good for me and treats me horrible for weeks now; but you seem to only look at the good with someone you love; which now that I look is absolutely little =/. So basically what hurts the most is she already has someone and pparently he has money and is really good to her. How do you become official with someone in less than 2 weeks honestly? and I know they have slept together already. I have zero hopes of getting her back mainly because I see her as the POS that she is and know I deserve better. But the other part of me wants karma to nail her so bad. Like she cant really find prince charming after truly being selfish and a major POS? theres no possible way that this guy if he is perfect wouldnt see through her bullsht; but then what if she changes just for him and is totally happy? i know this is all my emotions talking and I do want her to be happy one day but idk.
Philosoraptor Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 All this focus aimed at her really needs to be aimed at yourself. Is she rebounding? Who cares? There is no need to worry about her or play her games. Why would you want to be with someone who would not put a label on you but still needs to knock you down by doing so with another person while doing whatever she can to rub it in your face? If you want honesty, she is hurting and trying to avoid the pain. She needs to "win" the breakup so that she can feel like she did the right thing. Don't play these games and don't worry about them. If you work on fully healing then you will be better and she will still act immature. You're the winner there bud.
budley12 Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 you stated "i am officially done with hoping for her back" and how she hurt you... why would it matter if she was rebounding if you don't want her back anyways? Let her "rebound" or date again while you go out and find someone better knowing that your ex has made a downgrade.
Author NothingButAGlance Posted April 3, 2012 Author Posted April 3, 2012 you stated "i am officially done with hoping for her back" and how she hurt you... why would it matter if she was rebounding if you don't want her back anyways? Let her "rebound" or date again while you go out and find someone better knowing that your ex has made a downgrade. its more of the fact that; to me anyway.. she is making it seem like Im the bad guy and that she did everything right and is justifying it. Thats what makes me upset, she cant admit that shes wrong and for her purposefully rubbing it in when i bent over backwards for her and use our neutral mutual friends is whats wrong. I could destroy her for the things that she says about people and turn around and be two face with them against me. But im the bigger person and dont want to stoop down to these childing games. I know this is all my emotions talking, but if someone hurt you physically or emotionally wouldnt you kind of want them to hurt back?
wilsonx Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 sounds to me like you were the rebound. no official title, just hanging out like a couple etc. only 8 months. should have walked away a long time ago 1
budley12 Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I know this is all my emotions talking, but if someone hurt you physically or emotionally wouldnt you kind of want them to hurt back? My ex of 3years (first loves) led me on saying he wanted to work "on us" up until the day he started dating someone new. My [old] best friend hooked him up with the new person and they planned and schemed on how to break me and my ex up. Trust me, I know how it is being hurt and wanting the whole "get even" aspect. The new person he is with lied to my ex saying how I cheated and how I am dirt and how they would treat him so much better. I too want to get back at my ex, at my old best friend, at the new person dating my ex... i had dreams of very VERY nasty things and at one point I was afraid that I would do something drastic because I did not feel any emotions at that time -numb. After 4months since the BU and 2months of NC I now am believing the the Karma system: -my old best friend is now lonely/excluded because my ex's new relationship does not include her -my ex lost me (someone whom truly loved and cared for him, and would do anything for him), and will probably end up getting hurt and missing me -the new toy manipulated, schemed, and lied to get my ex so their relationship is built on lies and it will only be a matter of time until my ex realizes this and it falls apart
Philosoraptor Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I know this is all my emotions talking, but if someone hurt you physically or emotionally wouldnt you kind of want them to hurt back? Sure, it's natural to want them to feel the pain that happened to you. But it won't make you feel any better for long. If you truly care about someone you wish them the best and work on healing yourself.
Author NothingButAGlance Posted April 3, 2012 Author Posted April 3, 2012 sounds to me like you were the rebound. no official title, just hanging out like a couple etc. only 8 months. should have walked away a long time ago yea thats what im getting an inclination about. Like i jumpe into a relationship with her after her bf of 5yrs was a POS drug dealer, treated her horribly and there I was month later showering her with attention and love. we did have a title but it wasnt till about a month in and then we lost the title about 2months ago but everyone knew we were still together. I should have read the signs a long time ago instead enjoying the company and sex. Im finally in the acceptance stage of this all and realize the reality of the situation. Which is actually great to say. For the last month its been nothing but rollercoaster of yes/no maybe so with her and me always being there and holding on to hope. I will be fine, im starting to think more positively; i just wonder if this feeling of 'wanting her to get hers in the end' ever goes away? she really did just about everything wrong besides cheating on me..which she may have even done that.
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