irc333 Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I have known a couple of "professional" stay at home mom's, was talking to one, she just sent off her last kid to college, 3 kids, spent most of her life raising kids, nothing more. Never got an education during that time, until recently though (History major). And is now living with her dad since her divorce...age 42. Plans on saving money to travel the world. I have met another woman like this at my gym, had EIGHT kids, nice body on her too, she is also a personal trainer, but after her divorce, no real skills, even qualified for alimiony, because "being a mom" is all she knew. Gentleman, would you date such a woman. Turn the tables, Ladies....would you date such a man? LOL
Emilia Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I can't even imagine dating a man with one child, let alone one with several. Then the whole 'stay at home' thing... probably not. I'm not sure how comfortable I would be dating a man who was being financially supported by a woman or by his parents. It just isn't something I would want in a partner, especially if he had no long term prospects
Philosoraptor Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Ouchie. While being able to offer my future wife the opportunity to stay at home is a dream of mine, I don't think I could walk into a relationship knowing that I would instantly have to care for an adult. When I find the person I want to spend the rest of my life with I will be more than happy to let her stay at home when we decide to have kids, if she wants to.
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 No, I couldn't. U.S. society, like other industrialized nations, is not traditional. It's modern. In this modern society, both men and women need to be able to pull their weight to keep up. Even if I was a millionaire, I'd expect my wife to have a job. A friend of mine married a young, West African woman. I visited them when they were just dating. His future mother-in-law was there. The woman and her mother were in the kitchen. The woman said something about knowing how to cook not being important and the mother slapped her. For a long time, the mother berated her daughter on the importance of being a good housewife. If my wife was a housewife, she'd have to see being a housewife as an honorable duty the same way that mother did. It's damn near impossible to meet a woman in the U.S. and Canada who believe being a good housewife is a great achievement like women in West Africa, Mexico, Vietnam, and other traditionally minded places. Therefore, since the women in modern society aren't traditional. They better be modern by having their own job. OP, the woman in your post probably resented being a housewife after a while like so many women in modern society do. 2
Feelsgoodman Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I wouldn't date a divorced woman with kids regardless of where she stayed. 2
thatone Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 but didn't resent it enough to actually do anything about it, other than cash those alimony checks while living with her parents. the fact that her parents let her move back in at 42 doesn't say much about them, and the apple rarely falls far from the tree. avoid. 1
Ross MwcFan Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I wouldn't date a woman even if she had one kid. 1
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I wouldn't date a divorced woman with kids regardless of where she stayed. I wouldn't date a woman even if she had one kid. Pretty much. Serious relationships with single mothers are something most childless guys avoid. but didn't resent it enough to actually do anything about it, other than cash those alimony checks while living with her parents. the fact that her parents let her move back in at 42 doesn't say much about them, and the apple rarely falls far from the tree. avoid. I was gonna say something like this but forgot.
Emilia Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 It's damn near impossible to meet a woman in the U.S. and Canada who believe being a good housewife is a great achievement like women in West Africa, Mexico, Vietnam, and other traditionally minded places. You do say some ignorant things sometimes. It's not that they see it as an 'achievement', in poor countries there aren't enough jobs to go around so you will see men doing the kind of work in Vietnam that would be a woman's job in the US. Chambermaid is an example. In Africa the women still have work out in the fields as well as run the household, collect firewood and water (sometimes walking for miles). The men try to find a job and get drunk. 1
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 You do say some ignorant things sometimes. It's not that they see it as an 'achievement', in poor countries there aren't enough jobs to go around so you will see men doing the kind of work in Vietnam that would be a woman's job in the US. Chambermaid is an example. In Africa the women still have work out in the fields as well as run the household, collect firewood and water (sometimes walking for miles). The men try to find a job and get drunk. Wrong. I'm talking about women I've met from these traditional countries who live in the States. Despite becoming a part of U.S. society, they still think of being a housewife as an achievement. You're equating your Eastern European experiences with those of people in other countries. As a guy who has dated Russian and Ukranian women, I understand why you think the way you do. But I've also been close to Vietnamese, Ethiopian, and Mexican women, too. The people from those countries act differently than those from Eastern Europe.
grkBoy Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 To me, this is no different than any other "single mom" question. I can't make blanket statements for all, but take each one individually. What I would not date: The divorced or "never married" mom who can't take care of herself in life and really shows her only "plan" is to find a man to take care of her and the kids. She comes off as in a hurry to find a husband. Even worse is if her ex was wealthy, and now she expects the next man to give her that level of comfort. What I would date: The mom who can make a living, even if it isn't a big career. She has a kid or two from a previous marriage, and yet shows she's not looking for anything more out of me than companionship. Her kid(s) are older and perhaps thus are not so much of her time that she can balance life with me and them. I think we've made being a SAHP look like a bad thing now, yet many talk of how they hate how many kids get raised by nannies or day care. That or even some guys who really don't like all the diaper/hardcore parent stuff, but his wife works so they divide it up. You can't just dismiss SAHP's for that. Even the career-minded powerful woman. If you're holding out for a CEO to marry you, have kids, and think you both can pay people to raise them while you both work...you might be better off seeking out a man who would be wonderful SAHD, or give up on the idea of being a mom. I can understand the single person who doesn't want to become the ATM for someone else's kids, but the older we get, the harder it will be to find childless attractive singles. Judge the person on how they act and carry themselves. 4
gaius Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I wouldn't date a woman even if she had one kid. I thought you said you weren't a virgin by choice? If a single mother wanted to sex you up you would say no? A woman who needs immediate financial support seems like something I would want to avoid but who knows? I've surprised myself before. Never really know until you meet that person and click. 1
joystickd Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I would have sex with one but wouldn't date one unless the father of her kids was dead.
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I can understand the single person who doesn't want to become the ATM for someone else's kids, but the older we get, the harder it will be to find childless attractive singles. Judge the person on how they act and carry themselves. This is true. Thanks for pointing that out.
Author irc333 Posted April 3, 2012 Author Posted April 3, 2012 Pretty much. Serious relationships with single mothers are something most childless guys avoid. I was gonna say something like this but forgot. Actually, in HER case, they're all legal adults, so in this case, it would not bother me if she had kids that are adults. Kinda moot.
Author irc333 Posted April 3, 2012 Author Posted April 3, 2012 Actually, she's a FORMER stay at home mom, since the kids are now adults.....so does that change things?
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Not a chance. 100% agreed. She sounds like an unambitious woman too. Living with her parents at 42? WTF? There are many women her age who have their sh*t together. Why overlook those women for her? 1
xxoo Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Actually, she's a FORMER stay at home mom, since the kids are now adults.....so does that change things? She should probably put dating aside until she is supporting herself. I'd say the same about an able man that age, being supported by his parents. But if she will soon be able to support herself with her degree, why is it an issue that she stayed home with her kids in the past?
Ross MwcFan Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I thought you said you weren't a virgin by choice? If a single mother wanted to sex you up you would say no? A woman who needs immediate financial support seems like something I would want to avoid but who knows? I've surprised myself before. Never really know until you meet that person and click. I guess I'd have a ONS or FWB. But to be actually dating her, there'd be no point if it obviously isn't going to go anywhere, and me knowing that from the start wouldn't be fair on her.
kaylan Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I want a professional woman. Someone who is self sufficient, has big goals, and who would have no problem helping me financially provide for our childrens future. Plus, its just smarter to have two incomes. If one person cant work for whatever reason, then you have money coming in still at least.
carhill Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Gentleman, would you date such a woman. If we were otherwise compatible, sure, and with open eyes regarding her potential paths in the future. As examples, she might prefer to remain a 'professional stay at home' even after the children are adults. She might wish to re-enter the educational arena and pursue an interest she had before making the choice to stay at home. She might wish to travel the world and enlighten herself about culture first-hand. If we found synergy in those dynamics, that. If not, that.
FitChick Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 A lot of successful men who make good money actually want their wives at home to handle the daily tasks of running a household and to take care of them while they handle their stressful jobs. They want to come home and relax and not hear about their wife's stressful day at the office. If they have kids, that is more of an incentive to stay at home. A lot of women would rather work, so not all SAHM are the same. It's something a couple works out between themselves and not random strangers who approve or don't approve.
oaks Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Gentleman, would you date such a woman. I'd give it a try. I expect we would be incompatible owing to having had substantially different life experiences.
Soxfaninfl Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Women that don't work and raise kids end up getting alimony if they go through a divorce, so I would want my wife to work. I'm divorced and know how it works. My ex-wife worked and tried to get alimony from me. She didn't get it because she worked during the entire marriage. Thank god I didn't have to pay her cause she left me for another man.
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