Love2BLoved Posted June 15, 2004 Posted June 15, 2004 I need a bit of advice...Well it's not actually for me, but for my sister. She has been involved with a married guy for about 8-9 months; however, she was in a relationship with him for about a year a couple of years before he got married. A few months ago he made her believe that he had left his wife for her, but in reality his wife left him because she found out about them. His wife called my sister and asked if she had anything to do with him, but my sister denied it because she was scared of his wife taking away his daughter. Regardless of what my sister told her she still left him; there were just too many proof of his affair i guess. My sister found out the truth about a week ago that he actually moved back in with his wife and she was the one that had left HIM! Now she is heartbroken and she does not know if she should tell his wife everything or just let her keep getting played. She feels that she cannot get closure unless she confesses to his wife everything. She has a recording on her voicemail of him promising and saying that he does not love his wife that she wants to play to his wife. I really think it's a BAD idea, what do you think?
supermom Posted June 15, 2004 Posted June 15, 2004 I would tell. She has a recording on her voicemail of him promising and saying that he does not love his wife that she wants to play to his wife. She has proof - go for it, may teach him a lesson. Besides, what if one day he confesses, but tells HIS version of it. He can make your sis look really bad. I would tell her and get it over with, while she has the proof as well. It'll come out someday anyway, this way she can tell the truth instead of having to defend possible lies told about her by the MM.
murasaki Posted June 15, 2004 Posted June 15, 2004 I would say that your sister shouldn't tell his wife anything... except that I think that if she did, your sister would be ending her connection to her lover. And surely that's in your sister's best interest... This guy is clearly a loser. Marriages fail, sure. But he's been cheating on a woman he has no intention of leaving. And they have a child! That demonstrates fundamental selfishness, and that's not something that will change if he's with the "right" woman. There's no right woman for such a selfish, dishonorable jerk! If your sister is really through with him, then I think she should just wash her hands of the matter without saying anything to the wife. What's the point, and she'd just have to deal with further ugliness and entanglement with them. But if there is a chance she'd go back to him at some point (you know he'll come sniffing around once the dust has settled), then she might as well speak up. She won't be hurting his wife -- the wife's suspicions were already aroused, and she's probably only gone back to him because she's choosing to believe what she knows is b.s. Because of that, your sister doesn't really owe his wife anything. Except to stay away from her husband, and I do hope she's determined to do that. She should do whatever it takes to get away from him, and stay away. For her own sake, for his wife's and for their child's.
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