Eclypse Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Today I was at campus and met a girl I used to like a few years ago (she rejected me, but we stayed friends, although we haven't really kept in regular contact lately). Anyway I was in a rush as I had to go and give a seminar presentation but we did talk for a few minutes. During our conversation I said to her "You look really nice today" or "You look pretty today." I've actually forgotten which one exactly, but it was one of those. I've been thinking since, are girls creeped out by a guy they aren't dating commenting on how they look that day? At the time I didn't give it much thought and it sort of just came out. She did look really amazing though, was wearing a short sun dress that she just sort of seemed to be poured into and high heels. So what say you girls? How do you feel being told you look good by a guy you are friends with, although not super close? The last thing I would have wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable. For the record, I haven't had feelings of a romantic nature for her for more than 2 years now.
Emilia Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 No, either of those lines are fine. If you had said 'nice tits', that would have been creepy. 3
zengirl Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Not at all. Both of those sound fine to me -- perfectly kind and polite things to say. I say that to men and women alike when they look good. It's not a come-on; just a confidence-boosting observation. 3
Author Eclypse Posted April 3, 2012 Author Posted April 3, 2012 That's comforting to know. Sometimes I get a little unsure of what is and what isn't appropriate etiquette. A girl at uni asked me what I thought of another girl working with us. I said "I think she's... good." And she just went "ohhhh hellooo, you think she's hot don't you?" And I had to admit the truth, that yes I did think she was pretty damn hot. Anyway, the last thing I'd want to do is reported for sexual harassment or something like that! There's been a few high profile cases lately.
gotye Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 only if the guy is creepy but if the guy is creepy then everything he says is just well... creepy
personontheinternet Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Just a warning, some people take offense when you single out that they look nice on that one day. They'll interpret your "You look pretty today!" to mean that they don't usually look pretty, but that just for today they do. To be safe, I'd say something like, "You look extra nice today," or you "You look even nicer than you usually do." That way, you're saying that while they look exceptionally nice today, they still look nice on a regular basis.
Author Eclypse Posted April 3, 2012 Author Posted April 3, 2012 Just a warning, some people take offense when you single out that they look nice on that one day. They'll interpret your "You look pretty today!" to mean that they don't usually look pretty, but that just for today they do. To be safe, I'd say something like, "You look extra nice today," or you "You look even nicer than you usually do." That way, you're saying that while they look exceptionally nice today, they still look nice on a regular basis. Nuts, you just can't win can you?
casanovadude81 Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Nuts, you just can't win can you? Not if winning means no one on the internet gives you a negative point of view. I think "you look nice today" is more platonic than "you look pretty today." Both are non specific and likely to be taken complimentary. It's more when you single in on a specific feature like "nice legs" that its more likely to be taken uncomfortably. You can save that kind of talk for a date. Of course even then you need to use your judgment. Best to be bold than boring I always say though.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I think those are fine things to say. When a man has said that to me, it made me feel good. Now if you said, "you are really pretty", that would be a little different. But by saying, "you look nice today", that's a little more casual AND it's still a compliment.
RachR Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 (edited) Just a warning, some people take offense when you single out that they look nice on that one day. They'll interpret your "You look pretty today!" to mean that they don't usually look pretty, but that just for today they do. To be safe, I'd say something like, "You look extra nice today," or you "You look even nicer than you usually do." That way, you're saying that while they look exceptionally nice today, they still look nice on a regular basis. That's over-thinking it a bit, don't you think? If they can't take a compliment without getting offended like that, then I say that's their problem (and I would know, because I used to be one of those people who would do the interpretation you described). Edited April 3, 2012 by RachR
sid3 Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Just a warning, some people take offense when you single out that they look nice on that one day. They'll interpret your "You look pretty today!" to mean that they don't usually look pretty, but that just for today they do. To be safe, I'd say something like, "You look extra nice today," or you "You look even nicer than you usually do." That way, you're saying that while they look exceptionally nice today, they still look nice on a regular basis. That's just ridiculous. To be safe? From what, getting your feelings crushed. There's nothing wrong with what the OP said, in fact I'd say there was far more room to spare.
RachR Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 To answer the Op's question: Polite comments like the ones you made are fine, I would like those. However, I wouldn't like lewd ones. Lewd ones are for reserved for someone I've been dating awhile already.
Mr. Slim Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I avoid the confusion by not handing out compliments. Actually I do give them out, but to people who I think could use a boost or who rarely get them. I took my grandmother to the library yesterday, and held the door for and complimented a nice elderly lady. Her face definitely lit up. I seriously doubt a hot girl walking around a college needs any more compliments than she already gets. If she does, she ain't getting 'em from me.
pteromom Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 I think honestly complimenting someone is always nice. "You look nice" and "You look pretty" are fine. As others said, any compliment that isn't lewd or weird is always appreciated.
Thieves Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Eclypse, what you said to her was completely fine! No need to think too much into it. If that were me, I would've been very pleased and thought that you were a sweetheart. My thoughts are that if she gets offended by a compliment like that when you genuinely meant well, then honestly, that more falls on her than on you. As long as you know you weren't being a complete weirdo about it or had "ulterior motives", then it's fine.
oaks Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Just a warning, some people take offense when you single out that they look nice on that one day. They'll interpret your "You look pretty today!" to mean that they don't usually look pretty, but that just for today they do. Yes, I've faced this. I don't play it safe, though. If they can't take a compliment, or assume that what I really meant is "you usually look really ugly" then that isn't my problem.
RedRobin Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 Sincere compliments are nice. Nothing wrong with what you said...
FitChick Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 I tend to notice color on someone so I generally say "That is a great color on you."
FitChick Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 I tend to notice color on someone so I generally say "That is a great color on you." Men tend to get a bit flummoxed at compliments, though, probably because they seldom hear them, unlike most women.
january2011 Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 So what say you girls? How do you feel being told you look good by a guy you are friends with, although not super close? The last thing I would have wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable. Given the history, I'd wonder if he still had a thing for me. But if we're not looking too deeply into this, then I agree that what you said was fairly innocuous and not particularly offensive to the 'average' girl.
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