how many stayed in contact with there ex's while seeing other people

[rd1978]

so how many of you girl girl stayed in contact with your ex while seeing someon else,,

here is the situation,, she broke up with me 5 years togethor,, wasnt the best wasnt the worst, be bolth had some growning up to do..... and it was a young love we are 24/25.. but here is the thing......... i told her dont call me if your not wanting to work this out ,, so that was the end of the conversation,, and she called for a week afteer that and i refues to awnser.. , there is another guy in the picture that has been wanting to get with her,, im sure he buttered her up,, while we were arguing,,, and made her feel good... no offense but he is tall skinny and ugly } so that made me feel better.... But anyway i made it clearer than ever i would not be her rebound after i have been with her for 5 years and she wasnt going to have her cake and eat it to.....

so here it is 4 weeks after we broke up she had tried to caontact me a few times ,, instant messanger and called 2-3 times but i didnt respond,,, ///////////////// { no thanks i have enough friends already } so finally i ddi write her back 1 time when she wrote me , but i did it when she had an away message up so i didnt have to talk then she called me like 3 times in to 2 day's,,, talked to her for 5 minutes i did awnser 1 call and she was excited to talk to me... anyway i got off soon i was busy and left it like ill talk to you 1 of these days... so she tried to write me again but i didnt respond , then a week later same thing i responded,, so we talked for like 45 minutes on the computer , let her know all the progress im making w/ different things in my life ,, she was getting all pissy and and being like why couldnt this have all happened when i was your g/f etc.etc. thenj we got off she called my phone we talked for another half hour about thing in general ,,{best conv in like 4 years} then she called the next morning we talked,, then this morning, so thats 3 days in a row..

 

But here it is i know she doesnt want to lose me.. but she cant have her fun and me ,, i am out messing around also i will not sit home and sulk... but i am in no way ready to get serious... but i asked her how her new job was and i got a { well you left me before then} and you stopped talking to me... What the fu*k i had no choice i wasnt going to keep in contact with her ,, there is no way she would have missed me if i did and its just plain not fair..... i honestly dont think she really likes this kid much but she does have a fun time because allt hey do is go out and drink and stuff.. After i refused to talk toher and awnser calls she went nuts, it was like i DID LEAVE HER .. and she was trying to make me jelious ,, i dont get it any insight would help,,,,,,

[sweetie7]

I've stayed in contact w/ my ex...he broke up w/ me about a month and a half ago and started seeing other girls very soon after (we had a 3 year very very serious relationship w/ no problems, no warning signs, he said he wanted to be w/ me forever until the day he broke up w/ me) I was really upset, the thought of him doing "our" things w/ other girls made me soo depressed. Anyway, tonight I am going out w/ another guy. I work w/ my ex and I told him today-mostly bc we live in a small college town and are bound to run into each other and didn't want it to be awkward but I think I also just wanted him to know. I think I made him really upset talking about this guy. Very big, athlete, smart, extremely nice car...I don't know why I told him all that. At first he said he was really happy for me but by the time I was leaving he looked like he was going to cry. I said to him "you know I would be w/ you if I could" which is true, I gave him many chances to come back to me. I honestly thought I could never be w/ another guy, the thought of it made me sick but I'm really sick of sitting around crying while my ex is out having fun. And I am so attracted to this guy that I'm very excited. I do feel bad that my ex is sad because I love him so much as a person, but he needs a taste of his own medicine. He also needs a chance to see what he gave up and how well I can do w/out him. At first I thought I would do anything to get back together with him, now I'm seeing that I really do need this time. I spent 1.5 months completely alone getting over my horrible betrayed feelings and now I'm going to see that there really are other good guys out there.

[Cupcake]

I've read your threads. I am very happy that you've decided to date someone else. Don't worry about your ex looking sad. He's not really sad. He's just trying to mess with your head. He knows that you still love him. And if you think you are hurting him by "enjoying your life" with someone else, you will feel soo guilty, you won't even be able to have a good time. Forget about that ex, girl !! Go out and have a fabulous time

[rd1978]

the good thing is you ddint run out and hang out with anyone right away,, i feel thats the worst thing you can do.... thats what she did to me,, she is insecure /lowself esteem,, although she is beautifull and has a decent head on her shoulders... i didnt go out much for 3 weeks also.. hung out with a girl like 2 weeks after had some fun... and felt like comlete crap about it in the morning ,,, all i couold think about was her,, i have a feeling she is out having her funbecasue she never did,, and if it works out it does if not all week ,, it will make me a stronger person... i never told her i would wait around but i did tell her i wanted to work things out and see a future with her,, But she could come back because honestly we needed this break up to strenghten our future or change it... i just dont know why in the hell she is calling and im not goign to ask ill talk to her for a week or so to try and make things comfortable,, but if she is shady or is still hanging out with this guy then im calling it quits,, and tell her she has to be out of my life for a long time,,, see the weird thing is,,,, JELIOUSLY she is loaded with it,, we arent togethor and she is prob sleeping with this guy... but yet she still is asking me questions that she shouldnt,, and if she saw me holding hands with someon there would be tears and lots of them., i almost feel she is trying to prove somethign to herself by being strong against me,, she was up my ass really hard and she knew that ,, im at the point now where if she keeps calling me and i see them out holding hands i am going to go up to him and ask him as nicely as possible:mad: if you guys are togethor to please have her stop calling me because its getting annoying and she tells me you guys are nothing but friends but yet i havent called her in a month,

 

YES i think you should def go on that date and have a good time ,,, your ex broke up with you so its his loss,, you gave him the chance's he took it for granted,, i think all us guys take a girl for granted sometime in there life ,, and im 1 that will never do it again

[sweetie7]

Thank you Cupcake...I had an awesome time last night and can honestly say I didn't even think about my ex. It's so weird bc when you're going through the pain, people can tell you things are going to get better all they want, and it means absolutely nothing to you. But now things ARE getting better. I'm obviously not ready for a serious relationship but just to go out and have fun and spend the night laughing with a guy felt so good. Somehow I got lucky. I feel like this guy has many of the qualities my ex had-but basically only the good ones! I know you say my ex isn't sad, but I really think that he is. I know he misses me and it really hurts him to think about me with someone else. Especially since I think he could tell how excited I was. We were/are best friends and I know he misses what we shared, but it's easy for him when he's out w/ someone else and he knows I'm sitting home missing him. Maybe this is what it will take for him to realize what he gave up. And I never thought I'd say this, but if he came back to me right now, I would tell him that I need this time now and that I don't want to be with him. Maybe someday when he grows into himself and figures out what he wants, but definitely not right now. The guy that I went out w/ last night is definitely not a rebound, but sometimes it does take someone new to make you realize you don't really want what you had. If your ex is all you know and they consume your mind, you won't realize how much else is out there.

 

rd1978-my ex also started dating immediately after breaking up with me. It sucked soo badly but now I think he is jealous that I took the time to be sad and got over him so that I can work my way to a healthy relationship. Also, I didn't jump at the first guy I saw, I wouldn't have gone on a date at all if I hadn't felt really attracted to and excited to see this guy. As I described to my ex that the guy is an athlete and drives a benz my ex was like, "oh...the girl I went on a date w/ drives a neon and has 2 horses" I could tell he was less than excited. And that's what happens if you jump into things without figuring out how you really feel, he just needed a girl so he took the first willing one he saw. I know people have told you this before, but you just need to keep an open mind. You WILL find a girl who will be able to take your mind off your ex and make you see how good life can be again. I really believe that there is more than one person out there for you. If one doesn't work out, it sucks for a long time, but soon you will come across another and realize that person is all you need. I took the time to get over my ex and was happy to be on my own, but bc my ex was the best I knew, I couldn't stop thinking about him and wanting him back. You will eventually meet someone new and stop thinking about your ex!

[Apollo432]

Couldnt help reading these posts and thinking about my situation. I have been going thru this crap for the last 3 weeks. She said she wanted space. Then she thought it was a mistake. Then she wanted space. then she said she sill loves me. I told her to take her time to see if Iam what she really wants. A week later I find out she is "talking" to someone. Sure just talking F%$k that. WTF? She has been in and out of relationships for a long time. We started dating 6 months after a 3 yr relationship in which she was engaged. I am beginning to think that I was a rebound? i cant believe I didnt see all of this b4.

 

The thing that scares me is that we were together for a year and for her to turn around and do this to me makes me judge here character. I feel that I always treated her right and have never given that much to a woman ever. Can a rebound relationship last a year? My heart says no but I know she is talking to this guy now to fill the void that I had given her. I want it not to work out so bad so she comes back. I dont think that I would take her back but, it would help my pride. I really cant believe that people can treat other people this way?

 

I know she will realize what she lost. I know she is just covering up a bigger problem and that she is way co-dependant.

 

This site rocks. It has helped me so much.

[meanttolive4ever]

i called my ex..like before i went with this other guy...but i never really called my ex while i was with the guy.but my ex would call me when his gf was in school. because he was bored...wtfever

[rd1978]

so what do you guys think i should do?.. its weird because i always had the upper hand,,,, she was always the one that was like your so cute.. this girl likes you ,, that girl likes you ,, etc reffering to some of my friends,,, she drove me crazy with her jeliousey ,, and herself crazy,,,,, like i said i never put the complete time and effort in ,, reasons being i was scared and,, for some reason always though i was missing out on something else,,, but i wasnt really missing out on anything..... ok so we talked on last sunday on the computer for about an hour and the past came up,,, i said everything right and kinda took her by suprise,, no i wants you's or anything like that just some explanations --and im sorry's,,, then she called me on the phone 15 min later.. we talked for a half hour ,, the converasation flowed extremly well,, she called me mon morning before work ,, same thing for 15 min,, then i told her i had to go,, so she called me tuess morning again ,, same thing,,,, then she called tuesday night right after i got out of work,, i didnt notice till later that night,,, and i never called her back,, this morning she didnt call,, i didnt expect her to though because i didnt awnser her call last night but she didnt leave a message either ,, i know she is insecure and what not,,,and me not awnsering her calls will make her back off,,

 

i know she loves me,, but i also know this other guy got in her head when we werent getting along ,,,, and i also know she is being as strong as she can an doing whatever the hell it takes to resist me ,, she has a huge wall up.... But she has calmed down ALOT and she will calm down even more now that we are talking again.....i told her everything i needed to like 5 weeks ago about why we were the way we were with each other,,,,, but then she was on a power trip,,, {not anymore though}

 

i loved talking ot her it was like a conversation that we havent had in 4 years the converation flowed amazingly well,,, but i dont feel she should be calling me if she is seeing dating or with this other guy,, i know she is def hanging with him,,, so im thinking ill let it go on for a week or 2 more and see what happens ,, i know i just have to make her laugh and what not... to help her relax... i know she is scared as hell i know she is afraid things will fall back into the same pattern ,, i know she is acting very tough but she really isnt ,, and i know if she saw me out that it would def get her thinking about me ,,, esp because her new boy is un-attractive.... and it would rip her apart if i braught one of my girlfriends out with me....

the weird thing was she was so excited to talk to me because i have ignored any contact with her for like 3 weeks,, every time i awnsered she was like YOU AWNSERED! help me to undersatnd these comments 1 { you left me } 2 {you stopped talking to me } she is the one who said she didnt wany a b/friend ??????? i dont want to be calling her But i dont want her tot hink to much that im pushing her way,, like i said she is insecure and i want to show her that ive changed i dont want to play to many games......... but i also dont wan to fuel her fire...