Should I fight for her or let it be?

[Titanium]

Hi, first of all thanks for reading this. I will try to keep this short, but its a long story ;-) So, there has been always a lot of chemistry between this girl and me. Always when we've met, there was something special between us, but over the past 11 years, when we have met a few times, always one of us had was in some serious relationship that we did not want to break. Thats for some background info.

 

Now 3 months ago we have met, she contacted me, we went out a few times and then decided to meet more often. She was just out of a relationship that did not work out for her. The guy was at first very nice, they had some nice memories together and on her side it was on of the best relationships she has ever had. Strong stuff. But for the past half year, he was hurting her too much, they did not sleep with each other at all, but were casually meeting. She cherished their memories too much and was happy to see him once in while.

 

When we met, she did not see him for a few months already, although he was trying to contact her once in a while. i thought that we might stand a fair chance as she was determined to put her relationship behind her.

 

So started to meet, she confessed within first month that she loves me, but after one month or so, things started to turn sour. We had great moments together, but sometimes I felt that something is not good. It got worse and worse, I knew that something was going on and she later admitted, that she talked to him. I told her ok, but if you want this to work out, you cannot call him or meet him, since these things will be coming back and will be damaging our relationship.. After a time, she asked me for more time, to ease down the relationship a bit, to become friends with romantic potential, etc. As I found out, at roughly the same time, she met him and talked to him on the phone. Now she wants some patience from me.Thats what she asked me for during our last meeting (we had this great time, party, and so on, when we got back, she cooked me in the middle of the night, etc.)

 

When I heard what she did (talking and meeting her ex), I told her that as long as she is meeting him/talking to him, there is no future for us. I saw what it did to our relationship. So I went NC, that was 4 days ago. On the same day, she wrote me a poem, and she keeps on writing me everyday. And I am still nc.

 

I am completely torn. After long time I am in love, dont want to loose her, but still i think that due to these circumstances I might be better off without her. I know, that all of you will tell me, find a new girl, forget about this one. Because this is what I would advise anybody in the same situation. however, what if I want to try to make this work out. what should i do then? I want to try everything before I give up. thanks for your advice

[Professor X]

You can't make it work out cause she choose him over you. She made a decision of which you have no control over.

She talks to him more and more with each (before you're NC), and by doing it, she showed you what she wants.

 

You sound like a very clever guy, you instantly saw through her and you made the right decision.

Don't ever get involved with a girl who's tied so strongly to her past, it's just a recipe for disaster.

 

So yes, you need to find someone else, it's the only thing you can do.

[google_girl]

Problem is although she has broken up with this guy she still has some real feelings for him and so she is not able to move on and make a fresh start with you.

I would say leave her alone till she forgets this other guy completely .Otherwise she will go back and forth with you n mess up with both of you.

[Titanium]

yeah, probably that's the only thing for me left to do. to wait and see what happens next. is there anyone here, who went through something similar, but from the girl's perspective?