rubyfuchia Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 Hopefully I can explain this the best I can... We've been dating for 5 years, but the past one has been rocky. We kinda split for the past year really, so it's been more like trying to work things out between us. But since this month we've had a falling out and tried to work things out again...and all of the sudden. Bam, I'm dead to him. One hour, we're talking about things, like how I needed to branch out and not rely on him for all of my social support. (I'm the classic "drop-the-friends" type when in a relationship, although personally I've always been a bit of a loner.) We were talking about how that's probably what I need and I even started seeing a therapist. I love him and I wouldn't be talking to him if I didn't...personally I think I've been going through a slight depression for a while. (I have so many factors as to why that is...) but he's blaming himself and constantly saying that I act like I don't want him in my life. I admit, I did hang out when it was convenient for me, but the constant contact had taken a toll on me and we just became too close. I didn't realize this until earlier today that for the past five years I've relied on him for all of my social contact concerning a friend. Obviously that's not healthy. So after we got through this things were a bit better. He knew that I had plans with my family tonight and I'd be busy, and he understood this. But later he asked me to come over, I had told him I already told them I was on my way, but I promised tomorrow we could hang out...he didn't sound too excited but wasn't honest when I asked what was up. Then I looked on facebook nearly an hour later and he had a mean passive aggressive post that I could tell was for me. I asked him about it via text, and this is where he tells me I'm dead to him, I should understand why he's mad and that he's not stupid and all he ever wanted was love but I couldn't give it to him. We were high school sweethearts and our first few years were AMAZING until now. In the past, I didn't know much about relationships, but I CATERED to him, gave him all of my attention and tried to prove time and time again that I loved him, and apparently it never took. Not to sound obsessed, but I made him my number one priority and he has NEVER acknowledged this or else we wouldn't be in this situation. I should add that after being with him for so long, I have learned I can't constantly cater/"mother" him, so it's not like I feel that doing so helps our relationship. Tonight he acted like he never had before, at least to that degree. It still scares me. I don't know if it was me not going over there that did it, but from what I thought there was an understanding. Sure, I will admit I put other things before him, and he had a right to be upset, but this was plans he knew of before and wasn't trivial. His mom said to not worry over him, don't contact and he needs to get through whatever it is on his own. Well, sorry this was so long, I hope I didn't scare anyone off.
Philosoraptor Posted April 3, 2012 Posted April 3, 2012 It sounds to me like he was just waiting for an opening to put the final nail in the coffin. He made it out like it is your fault so he can relieve his own guilt and save a bit of face with you. Very mature of him don't you think? Don't contact him as it will only hurt you. If he wants it to end then give him what he wants.
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