askimcanim Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Hi this is my first post and I really really don't know what to do and would appreciate some thoughts/advice. I have been in a relationship with a Muslim man from turkey for 4 years I absolutely adore him and am very much in love with him. He still currently lives in turkey as he still has to complete his national service. He has however spent 2 winters here on a visit visa. I also spend a lot of the summer in turkey so despite living in 2 different countries we spend a lot of time together..... However that is going to change, he is due to start his national service in may. I am 32 years old and I met him whilst on holiday since then we have spent more and more time together and have basically lived together for the last 2 years. My family are strict Christians tho I am not religious. Most of my family disapprove of my relationship With my bf, have told me how they feel and their concerns but have chosen to not mention it every time they see me. However, my mother is another case, I spent 4 hours with her on sat and she talked of noting else she is deeply entrenched in Christianity and spends most of her time watchingn the god channel on tv. She has told me that he is only after a visa (now if that was the case he would have moved to someone else by now, I've kept him waiting long enough) I know he loves me as I've seen what he has done for me, ignoring his family and being with me. Despite the religious differences which I know are great, I do believe we can overcome these. My bf is Muslim but he does not really practice and I couldn't tell u of the last time that he was in mosque. I am the same I am Christian but do not practice and haven't been in a church for years. My bf is due to start national service and I know that I be waiting for him when he comes out but my mum keeps trying to set me up with random men (doesn't matter who they are as long as they are not Muslim) I just don't know how to handle this..... Its constant and is all she talks about, I find spending time with her emotionally exhausting she's told me if I stay with him il will be cut out of the will and she won't be there for me if it all goes wrong. She says I have so much to loose as I have my own house (but does this mean that I never be with anyone for fear that I may 'loose' my house in a split up)???? Awwwww I'm so confused as part of me feels bad that she feels anxious about the relationship and I know I'm letting her down but I love my bf with all my heart and he loves me very much too. I have never felt like this about anyone before and I would just love to be able to announce an engagement and be excited about it and ppl be pleased for me, instead I feel like if we did decide to get engaged it would be frowned upon and should be kept a dirty secret. I hope someone can even understand this rambling..... I just don't know what to do I cry every time I think about it and it's constantly on my mind. I can't seem to get any peace, sleeping is a nightmare do I choose my mum or my bf???? The rest of my family I think will quietly frown upon it, my mother is a different kettle of fish and constantly makes me feel guilty for being in a relationship with a muslim. Please any comments or observations from that rambling would be greatly appreciated!!! (oh btw his family don't approve of me because I'm Christian etc however, my bf doesn't seem to care about his family etc and has told me that he loves me and is prepared to give his family up for me ) xxxx
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