adrynalynrush Posted April 2, 2012 Posted April 2, 2012 Long story... I have been married for 3 years. Six months into the marriage, my husband had to move away for a little while for work. Needless to say he started to hang out with a girl...They ended up making out in a bar. I found out via snooping, that he had been seeing this girl for about a week or so. I confronted him and he denied it continuously for a full year. About a month after him confessing, I started to feel alone and neglected. I turned to a good (male) friend of mine and one thing led to another. Six weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I kept the cheating to myself during the whole time I was pregnant and acted like the child was my husbands. Here it is 18 months since that night. I finally confessed to my husband that I had not been happy in my relationship and that I had doubts about him being my son's biological father. My H confessed to me that he had always known that I had cheated but didn't have any proof. He also had doubts that my son was his since the day that he saw him. We don't have the money to get a paternity test done. But my H says that no matter what, he still wants to be my son's dad and wants to fix our relationship. He wants to go back to when things were perfect (while we were dating). I am confused, however, because my H has taken my wedding ring back. I asked him why he took it and he said "because you need to earn it back." How do I fix something like this? And If the results come back to my child not being my H's, do I tell the OM or just leave it alone? Just an FYI, I have not been in contact with the OM since that one night because I have felt so much guilt. He has no clue that I even have a child.
TaraMaiden Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 adrynalynrush, "you" personally - fix nothing. you - BOTH - should really agree to attend counselling, because two wrongs don't make a right. you two should never have got married if this is the level of respect you have shown one another. I'm sorry if that's harsh, but really - take a good long look at what you both did - he had a fling just 6 months after you tied the knot - and you - well, enough said.... this desperately needs to be discussed and sorted out... and as for the baby - i think it needs finding out once and for all - although it actually sounds as if you're 100% sure, and he made a wild and educated guess.... As for telling the other man - I think you need to find out who's baby it is, and then consider just how much of an effect this will have on everyone - but I personally feel he does deserve to know. what a goddamn mess.....
irin Posted April 4, 2012 Posted April 4, 2012 he cheated you cheated, both need to working on rebuilding and "earning" each others trust back!
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